Oh man. Purrfection, y’all. A++ and all the gold stars, too. “Plastic Bag” is out. “AaaaAAAaaaAAGH” is in. Never change, Yoko Ono. Never Change.
Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category
This Liz & Dick GIF Is Everything
November 28, 2012
If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this GIF is worth a thousand, flawless white diamonds. Or, better still, a thousand bottles of the flawlessly scented White Diamonds! ELIZABLOHAN, HOW MANY GIFS DID YOU TAKE?!? (*SPOILER ALERT!*: Just this one.) This GIF is my absolute everything, y’all. LIZ & DICK ”I’m so bored!” GIF back and forth 4EVA!!!
Much love to The TV Screen by way of Videogum for this one.
TGIF! Here’s Some Dying Cats Singing “My Heart Will Go On”
April 6, 2012
Sure, it’s no me-at-karaoke, but the sound of a few cats dying might as well be the sound of two cats f*cking, so this deserves a gold star, even if this is Kate Winslet’s reaction. Besides, Titanic 3-D is out this weekend, and if you think I’m not going to be seeing it, you clearly forget that I’m a teenage girl wearing bad idea pajama jeans trapped in a gay man’s body. Seriously, such a special occasion deserves a moment of recognition, and if Dead Cat Orchestra’s charmingly weird cover of “My Heart Will Go On” isn’t up to the task, I don’t know what is! Wouldn’t you agree, Hausu Ghost Cat?
This Is the Best Team Peeta Sign
March 28, 2012
To give some context (though I ask you: does this picture really need context?), when Conan O’Brien asked Josh Hutcherson what was the craziest sign he saw on the publicity tour for The Hunger Games, this was Hutcherson’s answer:
Hahahahaha, PERFECT. (Insert obligatory boy with the bread’s baguette jokes here, obviously.)
You know, when it comes to The Hunger Games, I’ve always thought of myself as Team Gale, but with a sign like this, I’m beginning to think I wouldn’t kick either of ‘em out of bed for eating “crackers.” Mostly ‘cos they’re so damn hungry…from living in District 12. It would just be rude. (Insert obligatory Hunger Gang Bang jokes here. OBVIOUSLY.)
Much love to Buzzfeed for this one.
Lindsay Lohan Could (Should?) Have Been the Swan Queen!
July 15, 2011
Well, well, well. The gossip world’s abuzz with claims that perennial tabloid critter and one-time Nina Sayers of Quiznos ads, Lindsay Lohan, may have a chip on her shoulder for never getting so much as a casting call for Black Swan. Obviously a story this good demands some equally grand ‘n glorious Photoshopping, so here you go:
Long story short, Us Weekly reports that Lindsay Lohan apparently flew down for a photo shoot and interview with Plum Miami Magazine, and when she proceeded to back out of the interview, writer Jacquelynn Powers went ahead with a story chronicling both Lindsay Lohan’s eloquence (“Move that cone. I’m Lindsay Lohan.”) and perceived career slights:
Frustrated with the state of her career, Lohan said she “took ballet until she was 19 and was indignant that she was not considered for the movie Black Swan,” Powers adds.
For such bravery in the face of Dina Lohan’s inevitable wrath, I do believe Ms. Powers deserves a “Bitch, you bold!” AND a gold star, y’all.
You know, there used to be a time when we’d hear stories about the roles Lindsay Lohan refused to take or speculate about possible Lohan-related video games, but now it’s stories about roles Lindsay Lohan believes she should have been (but wasn’t even) offered? I mean, I’m happy that she’s got as firm a grasp on reality as Natalie Portman did during that one scene in Black Swan when Mila Kunis took a swan dive into her smiling snatch (terrible pun and a Showgirls line grab! + +!), but why does the gossip world have to tease us so? Black Swan brilliance mixed with the sort of bravura acting last witnessed in I Know Who Killed Me? Obviously we need more Photoshopping to imagine how this better, batsh*ttier Black Swan Version 2.OMGWANT!!! could’ve ended:
Toasters ‘N’ Moose’s “Taste the Biscuit”: The Ode to Biscuits That’s Been Missing From Our Lives
June 15, 2011
If you’re in a two-piece band called Toasters ‘N’ Moose, and your keyboardist is ofttimes mistaken for a homeless person while your vocalist reminds me of a less zaftig Paula Deen, and you’ve just scored the opportunity to play a place called Dante’s (or something) that looks sorta like the world’s saddest Salvation Army (is there any other kind?), but they’ve only allowed you to do one song, well, you’ve gotta make it a good one. So you’d better break out your big guns (nay, your biggest!), which obviously is a “song” called “Taste the Biscuit”:
