TGIF! Now Here’s 29 Celebrities Serving Some Gone With The Wind Realness

February 12, 2016 - Leave a Response

It’s Friday, so instead of overthinking it, I thought we could all use this video from W Magazine of 29 celebrities serving some gender-flipped Gone With The Wind realness. Nobody made a dress out of window treatments (unfortunately), but all of our favorites are here, and everybody is ACTING like it’s Awards Season and they’d like your vote, please.

Obviously, I love it.

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Tilda Swinton’s New Movie A Bigger Splash Looks Great!

February 11, 2016 - Leave a Response

A-Bigger-Splash-poster-600x889

Some time ago when I was still working as at the front desk, a regular stopper-by and I struck up a conversation about recent movies we’d seen. I “enthusiastically” (shrilly) told her about I Am Love, a perfect film in every way. She said she’d check it out.

The next time she stopped by the office,  she told me she had since seen I Am Love, an artful masterpiece of contemporary melodrama. I asked her how she liked it, and she cryptically answered my question with another question: You must really like opera, don’t you? 

My point is that there’s a new trailer for the latest collaboration between my indubitably favorite contemporary filmmaker (Luca Guadagnino) and the intergalactic goddess of this and several adjacent astral planes (Tilda Swinton), and as someone who really likes opera, holy moly do I like this trailer:

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Here’s Arcade Fire Covering “Heroes” at the New Orleans David Bowie Tribute Parade

February 10, 2016 - Leave a Response

They joined the Preservation Hall Jazz Band to perform in the parade, and it’s every bit the joyful tribute expected from New Orleans and befitting of the incomparable David Bowie.

Elizabeth Taylor’s Ash Wednesday, Again: Another Barely Topical Ash Wednesday Post

February 10, 2016 - One Response

elizabeth taylor ash wednesday vhs art

The last time I gave something up for Lent, it was Entenmenn’s baked goods, and I celebrated the end of Lent by hurling myself into a bedful of marble loaf cakes screaming “TAKE ME BACK!” Since I’m still finding crumbs in my bedding, I’ve decided it best to once again giving in to daily blogging, as well as taking today to make mention of the Ash Wednesday that soothes my spirit, Elizabeth Taylor’s 1973 plastic-surgery-and-marital-discord Eurodrama, Ash WednesdayRead the rest of this entry »

Apropos of Mardi Gras, Here’s How to Make a Mardi Gras Balloon Hat

February 9, 2016 - Leave a Response

The thing she likes about hats is that’s where you get to be creative, and the think I like about this video is that it’s at once informative and entirely improvisatory. Take, for example, the fact there’s a glossary of specific balloon crafts terminology; and also, that this hat is called the Mardi Gras Hat is because one time somebody at her restaurant asked her for a Mardi Gras hat, so there you go.

Pearl away, y’all, and Happy Mardi Gras!

 

Scant Thoughts on Super Bowl 50

February 8, 2016 - One Response

id4 resurgence super bowl football stadium

As the French would say, je ne suis pas sportif, but if I’ve got two things going for me, it’s a thirst for pop culture and a fear of missing out, so here are a few scant thoughts regarding FootBowl 50: Still a Thing!

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OH NO THEY DI’INT: Tim Tebow Played the Pronoun Game When Talking About Dating

February 4, 2016 - Leave a Response

tim tebow pronoun game

In the annals (heh) of things I have no business talking about, I’m well aware that football tops (teehee) the list. Nevertheless, a footballer is still a slab of beef by another name, so I guess today’s category is butch queen realness.

Anyways, Tim Tebow showed up on The Ellen DeGeneres Show to talk about the Super Bowl, which isn’t very exciting if it isn’t an excuse for a 12-minute Madonna concert. As if she knew she needed something for the rest of us, Ellen Degeneres asks about Tim Tebow’s dating life, and that sound you heard is the clickity clack of a thousand thirsty bromosexuals updating their Super Bowl slash fiction. That’s what a Fantasy Football is, right?

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Bonne Anniversaire, Blog; or, Welcome to the Seven Year Itch

February 3, 2016 - One Response

 

blog birthday cake seven year itch

Maybe it’s just me, but birthdays are a bit of a weird thing, and blog birthdays weirder still. I’m a sucker for the sentiment, but often at a loss for what to do with them. In years past, I’ve tried to be pithy about it, but these days pithy feels frivolous and deflective, so please pardon me while I interrupt our irregularly scheduled programming for a little sentimental reflection. Think of this as a fresh start, a (re)introduction.

Hello, this is Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner, and I’m a blogoholic.

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Never Forget Groundhog Day 2014

February 2, 2016 - Leave a Response

It’s Groundhog Day today, which means a groundhog may or may not see its shadow, we may or may not have six more weeks of winter, and whatever the weather, we’ll definitely continue to avoid facing the realities of climate change. So in lieu of a conversation about carbon taxes (blech, so boring!), let’s never forget Groundhog Day 2014, a Groundhog Day that will live in infamy. Read the rest of this entry »

You’re Not Ready for #CoplineBling

February 1, 2016 - Leave a Response

coplinebling

This past December, my roommate requested Drake’s “Hotline Bling” at my office’s holiday party, and the DJ told her he didn’t think the crowd was ready for it. He reads crowds for a living, he explained. He’s a professional. Neither of us was sure what he meant by that, but now that I think about it, I’m more than a little concerned about our #CoplineBling preparedness.

#CoplineBling is the University of Delaware campus police promotional video/parody of “Hotline Bling” that has everything, if your idea of everything includes sweet moves, sexy mascots, and a shameless thirst for the sweet and fickle nectar of internet celebrity. You’re probably ready for it, but here it is anyways:

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Life Is a Cabaret, Old Chum…

January 27, 2016 - Leave a Response

donald trump biggest fan facebook also shared tomorrw belongs to me cabaret

 

According to Facebook, people who shared the CNN Video “Dreams come true for Trump’s ‘biggest fan'” also shared the Hitler Youth number from Cabaret, which seems about right.

He Used to Love Doggy Chow, Too

April 11, 2015 - One Response

craigslist missed connection cat food manners

Cristal: You’ve got great manners. They’re really beautiful.

Nomi: Thanks.

Cristal: I like nice manners. I always have, how about you?

Nomi: I like having nice manners.

Cristal: How you like having ’em?

Nomi: What do you mean?

Cristal: You know what I mean.

Nomi: I like having them with a fork, in a can of cat food.

[hamburgermilk via I Have Seen The Whole Of The Internet]

TGIF! Now Here’s Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway in a Lip Sync Battle

April 10, 2015 - One Response

You know, it’s odd to me that two of the stars of The Devil Wears Prada doing a highly produced Lip Sync for Your Life isn’t a thing that has already aired on Logo, but I digress.

Emily Blunt and Anne Hathaway were on Lip Sync Battle last night. Emily Blunt performed Janis Joplin’s “Piece of My Heart”, Anne Hathaway performed Miley Cyrus’s “Wrecking Ball”, and judging by these performances, we don’t have to watch anymore, because this show has already peaked at maximum camp. Seriously, unless they get Nicole Kidman does ping pong trick while lip syncing to Mika’s “Grace Kelly” (it’d be a promotional tie-in to her Lifetime debut), we can stick a fork in this juicy glitterball, ‘cos she’s done. This being a battle, though, my question is: who won?

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Happy Easter, From a Good Egg

April 5, 2015 - Leave a Response

bette davis easter egg

And a happy birthday to Bette Davis! We love you!

[original image via Pinterest]

Where Are Rita Ora’s Eyebrows?

April 4, 2015 - Leave a Response

rita ora no eyebrows

Here’s a picture Rita Ora, whom I’m most familiar with as the ex-girlfriend of a future Taylor Swift song and the francophillic sister in an erotic thriller for third-year law students, did for a photoshoot for Clash Magazine, and it’s really great, if you’re into trichotillomania. Personally, I’ve been studying this picture for the better part of the day, and I’m just as confused as Rita Ora looks in this picture. I mean, really, where are her eyebrows?

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TGIF! Now Here’s Elizabeth Taylor with an Adorable, Matching Dog

April 3, 2015 - One Response

elizabeth taylor with matching dog

Well, it’s Friday once again, and judging by the subways in NYC this morning, practically nobody’s going into work, so why not take a well-deserved break with this glamour photo of Elizabeth Taylor with an adorable, matching dog? It has everything I could ask for while on holiday: elegance, sophistication, the lavender backdrop from a Sears Portrait, jewelry, matching wigs, and Elizabeth Taylor. It even has a puppy, because other people love puppies, too, and why not? It’s Friday, and I’m not a monster!

So happy Friday, everybody! Just whatever you do, don’t ask who wore it better. You already know the answer.

[Image via Spoiled Maltese]

Here’s a Glorious Video of Camille Paglia Talking About Susan Sontag

April 2, 2015 - One Response

camille paglia wgbh susan sontag

Earlier this morning, it was brought to my attention that today is Camille Paglia’s birthday, WHOM I LOVE. At last, I thought, the perfect opportunity to post this WGBH interview with Camille Paglia from the early 1990s! In it, she responds to Susan Sontag’s claim that Sontag had never even heard of Camille Paglia. That is completely insane, according to Camille Paglia, because who hasn’t heard of Camille Paglia, inquired Camille Paglia. My point is: Camille Paglia…and also Susan Sontag! Two favorite intellectual tastes that taste great together!

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This Krispy Kreme Hot Dog Is Not an April Fools’ Joke, Y’all

April 1, 2015 - 2 Responses

krispy kreme hot dog I repeat: this Krispy Kreme Hot Dog is not an April Fools’ joke, y’all. It is a cross-promotion between the New Castle Krispy Kreme and the Wilmington Blue Rocks, a minor league baseball team in Wilmington, Delaware. The Krispy Kreme Hot Dog is a hot dog covered in bacon, drizzled with raspberry jam, and served inside a Krispy Kreme doughnut.

It’s “a new chapter in ballpark concessions”, and that chapter is titled “Sweet Jesus.” It’s a reminder that there is no crying in baseball, but there is an ever-present threat of cardiac arrest. It’s a desperate howl from the monster mouth of a national pastime gone awry. The Krispy Kreme Hot Dog is why you’re Shaq fat, America, and it’s why I wish I knew how to quit you: Read the rest of this entry »

Martha Stewart Reads Well, Should Do Every Comedy Central Roast

March 31, 2015 - Leave a Response

Let’s face it: Martha Stewart is better than us. Martha Stewart is better than us at cooking, she’s better than us at arts and crafts, she’s  better than us at working a stripper pole (unless you’re Nomi Malone, in which case you already know you’re a goddess), and she’s better than us at throwing expert level shade. Case in point: this clip from last night’s Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber. It’s more than a mere argument for why Martha’s read qualifies her for every future Comedy Central Roast; it’s a teachable moment from Paris Is Burning, as all things should be:

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Teletubbies in Black and White, Set to Joy Division

March 28, 2015 - 17 Responses

I find this comforting, like a Bergman movie.

[via Mashable. Much love to Nathan for this.]

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