Archive for May, 2009

Alright Already! We’ll Talk About Glee
May 27, 2009

Yeesh.  Certain people, who shall remain nameless but might have names that rhyme with Shmarker and Shmathan (just saying, and also, love you guys!), have been all up in my grill about Glee.  It’s nothing but “Why don’t you blog about Glee?” this and “I hate your face ’til you blog about Glee!” that.  So fine, here we go:

glee copy

Seriously, was there ever any question?  I think not.  If anything, my only complaint is that we’re all forced to wait until this fall for more Glee.  That’s ass and a half, y’all; fortunately, despite Fox clearly conducting an experiment in patience amongst the nation’s gays (and their fag hags), Glee is anything but ass and a half.

Maybe it’s hyperbole, but Glee‘s the most inspired television show in quite some time.  The underdog-competitor-meets-Busby-Berkeley-musical vibe is infinitely charming blend of camp and heartfelt sincerity, and any show that can bring together both the eternally adorable Jayma Mays and eternally fierce Jessalyn Gilsig clearly knows a thing or two about casting.  And let’s not forget that Glee gave us the single greatest rendition of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin'” ever made EVER:

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Rejoice! Powder Blue is Out on DVD Today!
May 26, 2009

I woke up this morning with an extra spring in my step and a renewed sense of hope for the world.  It’s safe to say that we all know why:

powder-blue

YESSSSSS!!!  After what’s seemed like an eternity of waiting, Powder Blue has finally made it’s way to DVD!  

Today feels just like Christmas, which–seeing as Powder Blue is set on Christmas Eve–is totally fitting.  Only it’s much better than Christmas because we’re getting Forest Whitaker begging a tranny prostitute to kill him, Lisa Kudrow sharing her tips to a successful diet, and a whole bunch of Jessica Biel’s ACTING.  And her dirty pillows.  Mostly, though, we’re getting Jessica Biel’s ACTING, which apparently involves her being addicted to cocaine (naturally…because she’s a stripper) and pouring candle wax on her ta-tas (naturally…because she’s a stripper).  In other words, Powder Blue is the classiest, most seriously artistic endeavor cinema has ever seen.  EVER.  Thank you, Timothy Linh Bui.

Don’t even bother Netflixing this mess, y’all.  We may be in a recession so blah blah blah fiscal responsibility blah blah blah, but that doesn’t mean you can’t afford the small pittance it’ll cost on Amazon.  Seriously, $12.99 (plus shipping and handling, ‘cos I know you want this mess overnighted) is a bonafide bargain if it’s supporting the beginning of Jessica Biel’s inevitable career as a camp icon.  This is her Showgirls, y’all, and she’s Powder Blue‘s Elizabeth Berkley.  And don’t even bother feigning your best surprise face: I’ve already got my copy next to me.

So I hope you prepare yourself, people.  I’m about to bring the Powder Blue love out like it’s my blog job, and that’s a blog promise.  I hope you like batshit crazy, because that’s all I’ll be serving for quite a while.

And, lastly, if you came here looking for Jessica Biel’s boobs and are disappointed to instead find a distinct lack of said boobs, allow me to redirect you here.  There you go.  Biel boobs to warm your heart and nourish your inner aspect.  You’re welcome.

Not Even a Dancing Nosferatu Takes the Gay Out of Lady Gaga
May 23, 2009

It’s no secret that I’m rather taken by Lady Gaga’s whole schtick, which is essentially an avant-garde performance in which a woman parodies the way drag queens behave.  Or, in other words, she parades about as if she were a batshit-crazy-tranny-cyborg sent back in time by the Resistance to make John Connor TOTALLY FABULOUS.  Seriously:

lady-gaga-love-game-3.jpg

She’ll be back.  To help you blend you do touch ups on your body glitter and properly color-blend your lip gloss.  I digress, though.

Most impressively about Lady Gaga is that her homo force is completely unstoppable.  No amount of effort can extricate her gayness; she’s like a nuclear power plant of hyper-camp queerdom.  And trust me when I say that even a man dressing up in a Nosferatu costume cannot contain her rainbow-tinted energy:

To be certain, that video is a total nightmare, but it’s also a really gay nightmare.  Girl admittedly needs to work on her jazz hands and get a bit of sun (or at least a little Sevin Nyne), but you can’t really blame her for trying.  The moves are the sort of quasi-vogueing one would expect from someone who’s been undead for hundreds of years: you can’t expect an old queen to be au currant with her dance moves, and at a certain point your joints are bound to start going!  Give the bitch a snaggletooth for trying, y’all!

So, crazy (and probably possibly gay) vampire, you remind us yet again of the unstoppable force of homo-magnificence that is Lady Gaga, and for that we salute you!

Cheers to Videogum for the discovery.

From Beginning to End Proves Brazilian Cinema Does It Better
May 23, 2009

The less said about this trailer for From Beginning to End (Do Começo ao Fim) the better, other than it’s certifiably the most ridiculous thing I’ve encountered in quite some.  Just watch it and remember that this is an actual movie and an actual story that people felt committed to tell because they see it as having serious, artistic merit.  Also, before you click play and watch this, prepare to have your brain melt and then spew out through your ears.  Seriously, you’ve been warned:

Ermmm….neat?  And also, HUH???

Perhaps this is simply an example of a movie that touches on a taboo that I can’t even wrap around my head, but I’m willing to bet that the large majority of the world would equally agree with my sentiments that this is kinda creepy.  I could even see this movie as trying to be more a metaphor for the broader socially forbidden love of homosexuality, but that doesn’t really work because we don’t need an extra layer of uncomfortable icing on our sexual taboo cake.  Homosexuality still holds enough of a taboo in mainstream film to where it’s pretty a shortcake: you just add some strawberries (like being a cowboy in Brokeback Mountain) and then serve.  From Beginning to End is too much of everything, though, and so it looks like it’s a multi-tiered cake of various taboos that’ll inevitably collapse in on itself.

That said, I totally appreciate any movie that’s seeking to confront what we perceive as right and wrong in order to make us evaluate our moral codes and social fabrics.  I could and should be capable of treating this movie as a serious endeavor that demands an intelligent, open-minded  discussion about cultural sexual mores, but instead I just keep replaying this trailer in awe of how–in spite of its polished direction and competent performances and attractive male leads and Philip Glassian score (and I do so love my Philip Glassian scores, y’all)–this movie looks so epically trashy!

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Beyond a Reasonable Doubt Confirms That 2009 Is the Year of the Bad Movie
May 20, 2009

I’m a firm believer in the thought that 2008 was an impressively strong year for movies.  In one year, we were treated to inspired films such as Milk, The Dark Knight, WALL·E, Love Songs, Vicky Cristina BarcelonaThe Last Mistress, and Zombie Strippers*.  While we’ve admittedly still got months to go and the inevitable Oscar season of nomination hopefuls, this year’s already seeming comparatively disappointing for actual good movies.  Bad movies, on the other hand, seem to be popping up like Kudzu in Georgia, so I’m obviously happier than a go-go dancer at a g-string sale.

Think about it: this is the year in which we’ve already been given Obsessed and we’re soon going to get Powder Blue.  There’s no way in hell that Inglourious Basterds is not going to be garbage-and-a-half (the prospect of witnessing Eli Roth’s acting is just bizarro icing on Quentin Tarantino’s insane-o cake), and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will be Baytastic (meaning fast, loud, and totally batshit crazy), so our summer’s clearly a hot mess, and this fall brings us a real winner:

beyond_a_reasonable_doubt

Beyond the fact that this poster is a pretty sub-standard Saul Brown rip-off, this is a movie with Jesse Metcalfe in TOP BILLING ABOVE MICHAEL DOUGLAS.  Amber Tamblyn’s at least actually been in movies (John Tucker Must Die isn’t a movie, just awful at 24-frames per second), and she gets second billing, but she still gets billing above Michael Douglas?  How did producers assemble this cast, and how in the hell is this movie not movie heading straight to DVD faster than a bullet train wreck?  Is Michael Douglas even actually in this movie?

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The Gossip Girl We Know and Love Returned Last Night! Huzzah!!!
May 19, 2009

Just in time for its summer hiatus!  Fiddlesticks!!!  Though I don’t really think I can better express my extreme frustration than this visual diagram:

chuck blair gossip girl

See, like Blair’s inability to wait for Chuck to confess his love for her, such is my inability to wait for Gossip Girl to return next season.  That’s just how good it was.  Soooo good.  Incapable-of-making-complete-sentences good, even, so let’s just abandon all hope of a cohesive recap and discuss the highlights of this fabulous return to glittery trash.

Firstly, there was the moment in this episode when for a hot second we’re all led to believe that Eric’s boyfriend was Gossip Girl, but then after the commercial break we’re told that he’s not; he just happened to hack into her file server, which gives him access to her texts (?). That barely makes sense, seems inspired by one of the bevy of internet-themed thrillers that came out in the mid-1990s when our minds were being blown by dial-up and AOL, and also gave me the “Whaaaa?”-face of the century.  It may have only been a tease, but what a fantastic tease it was.

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Nothing Can Save The Midnight Meat Train From Being an Unmitigated Disaster
May 19, 2009

If by “terrifying,” you mean “terrifyingly lame,” then absolutely, Midnight Meat Train movie poster:

midnight meat train wreck

It’s true that I’ve only myself to blame for sitting through this mess.  Shouldn’t I have known that, with a title like The Midnight Meat Train, it was going to be terrible?  Yes, I totally should’ve.  But, in my defense, there was quite a bit going for it.  For example, it’s based on a short story by Clive Barker, the man responsible for Hellraiser and Candyman, which are easily two of my favorite horror movies ever made.  Then there’s the trailer, and like all good trailers, it makes the movie look far better than it actually is:

This trailers says, “I’m stylishly directed, and although I’m just a trashy splatter flick, at least I’m trashing it up with style to spare.  Also, I’ve got Brooke Shields being a steel-faced bitch!”  While all of these things are essentially true, none of it adds up to being even remotely approaching good.  The performances range from whatever (Bradley Cooper’s obsessed photographed is a self-absorbed vegetarian douchebag that everybody inexplicably wants to help out despite his lack of any discernible talent; I guess these things happen when you’re really, really good looking) to failed camp (Brooke Shields tries to play vampy bitch and just comes off as awkward and stiff) to utterly abominable (Leslie Bibb, in the supportive girlfriend role, is egregiously annoying and a reminder as to why I’ll never bother to dabble in bisexuality).  Even Vinnie Jones, whose stern face and hulking size at least lend him some sort of presence, is left to do nothing but look threatening when he’s not killing people.  Then again, The Midnight Meat Train isn’t worried so much about characterization or performance as it is with staging the most over-the-top (and certainly inappropriate for the faint of heart and my mother) death scenes I’ve seen in some time:

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What Do We Learn From Watching Frontier(s)? Horror is Not a Strong Suit of Contemporary French Cinema
May 18, 2009

I’m not entirely certain who’s trying to make French horror the next big thing, but I really hope they get it out of there system, ‘cos they need to quit it like a bad habit.  Don’t get me wrong.  The French have got an incredible cuisine and a rich film history, so they’ve done everything right in my book.  Hell, they even gave us the wonderfully creepy and surreal Eyes Without a Face, so it’s not that the French are simply incapable of making any decent entries in the genre.  That doesn’t stop Frontier(s), though, from being a near disgrace to both its genre and nation.  It’s seriously, totally stupid.

frontiers dumb

It should, of course, be noted that Frontier(s) isn’t even the first misstep the French have recently taken in trying to develop their own take on the horror genre.  High Tension was stupid and had the most shenanigansiest (and misogynistic and homophobic) ending of all time, and Inside had a preposterously ridiculous final act and an entirely different (yet nevertheless problematic) set of gender politics.  Now, having seen Frontier(s), I feel relatively confident in concluding that one of contemporary French horror’s defining traits is an obligation to plummet into the depths of absurdity in their final act.  Fortunately (?) for Frontier(s), director Xavier Gens is clearly an aspiring auteur, so he logically ups the ante by starting at ridiculous and then descending into batshit insanity and ham-fisted “political” commentary.  Or, in the simply words of the interwebs: HORROR MOVIE FAIL, Monsieur Gens.

The plot in Frontier(s) involves four Middle Eastern French youths fleeing Paris with a bunch of money they stole during riots that occurred over the election of a conservative President Nicolas Sarkozy.  They’re Middle Eastern because that’s how this movie discusses racial issues in France, which is by not actually saying anything at all beyond “Mon dieu, France has racial tension!”  In a similarly subtle political analysis, the backwoods family our protagonists come across are Nazis, because the fascist genocide of the Nazi party is precisely the same as Sarkozy’s politics.  But beyond Frontier(s) being the sort of hyperbolic and reactionary allegory that seems clever and insightful (if you’re taking your daily dose of idiot pills), it’s also pretty inept on the most basic of levels.

 Any movie that lackadaisically plagiarizes  a bevy of recent horror films for its middle act [The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the remake!), The Descent, and Hostel] to mask its lack of originality pay homage to the genre is automatically setting itself up for failure, but you’ve never seen a movie so wildly derail itself until you’ve seen the ending of Frontier(s).   While most of the movie is your standard captured-by-sadistic-yokels-in-the-isolated-countryside, the ending is a karo-syrup-drenched action movie in which (among the insanities) one Nazi gets a table saw through the chest, and the  final girl conveys her “shock” by convulsing around like an epileptic crack-whore doing the shimmy shakes ‘cos she needs of a fix to convey her “shock.”  Seriously, if it wasn’t for the fact that so much lazy and laborious nothing came before it, I’d totally be behind the unhinged insanity of the finale, but it is, so I’m not.  

It also must be noted that this movie does contain cannibalistic cave children who’re the product of too much Nazi inbreeding.  And did I also mention that the final girl is in a blood-soaked wedding dress?  And that she BITES A CHUNK OUT OF NEO-NAZI’S NECK?  That’s not a spoiler, by the way, that’s just me saying that in the tradition of ridiculous endings that seems to define French horror, this is some truly epic bullshit.  It’s a finely aged Gruyère of totally trashy, over-the-top gore cinema.

It’s just a pity that the rest of the movie is so très horrible.

Sara Carlson is the Nomi Malone of 80s Italian Variety Shows
May 15, 2009

Just watch this poetry in motion:

I recognize that, in the era of YouTube clips, what probably made sense in a particular time to a particular group of people is reintroduced to the world in a contextual vacuum.  Without meaning, these videos become a veritable playground for camp, a place where the indecipherable message is the first language of ironic detachment and surface aesthetics the currency of visual pleasure.  As such, perhaps I’m inherently biased towards this Fellini-meets-Lady-Gaga pinnacle of unadulterated, uninhibited batshit insanity.  Whatever.  

None of that changes the fact that Sara Carlson is not merely fierce; she’s full on ferocious.  Also, we can all agree that the only thing that could make this video better is if she looked like a tranny streetwalker who styled herself a member of Jem and the Holograms.  Fortunately for us, such a video exists:

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Now That We’re Back in Blog Action, Let’s Discuss Star Trek
May 14, 2009

star trek wicked awesome

Sometimes you need a blog break, a short hiatus to take a blog breather and recharge your blog batteries.  Some people take this is the form of a stay-cation, or perhaps they take a debauched long weekend in Las Vegas, or maybe instead it’s a quiet rest in a cabin in the mountains that’s far away from civilization.  In my case, you spend time with the family for Mother’s Day.  And you see Star Trek.  Hot damn does that movie ever do the blog body good.  

I recognize, what with it only being a mere two weeks into summer movie season and all, that I may be veering into full-on nerd hyperbole by making the following statement, but seriously, y’all: Star Trek is this summer’s best escapism.  It really has everything you could ask for in a summer movie.  There’s Chris Pine being hot and brash as James Kirk.  You’ve got Zachary Quinto being hot and Vulcan as an emotionally complicated Spock.  Eric Bana does his magic (aka, being hot) while also being evil and bald as the villainous Romulan Nero.  We also get Zoe Saldana being hot and feisty fierce as Uhura, and James Cho also being hot and doing some totally bitchin’ sword fighting as Sulu.  And, oh yeah, there’s also some of the most dazzling (and in all likelihood the most coherent) action sequences you’ll see all summer.

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This Star Trek Poster is Excitement Icing on the Amazing Cake
May 6, 2009

Fact: The new Star Trek looks totally incredible, y’all.

As such, I challenge to find a single thing wrong with this poster:

star trek poster

Ha, trick question!  This poster is flawless.  FLAWLESS.

Lots of movies get made, and they all have posters.  Some posters are good, and other posters are bad, and a select few posters just make you shut up and silently freak your shit out on the subway platform as you hope you don’t publicly wet yourself and silently and speedily repeat in your head, “CANNOTWAITCANNOTWAITCANNOTWAIT.”  Such is this poster for Star Trek.

From the very first teaser trailer, J.J. Abrams and the crew responsible for advertising the Star Trek reboot have done a fine job at tapping into the iconography of the classic series while also trumpeting this as a unique reinvention of a visionary franchise, and this poster is no exception.  If the Star Trek franchise has gradually grown into a parody of itself over the years (or, at the least, so bloated as to warrant parody), then Abram’s film looks to shake the series free of those shackles.

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The Revolution Will Not Be Televised Via Vlogs; or, Against “Fuck You”
May 5, 2009

Supposedly this video has been making the rounds today on the internet; and I’ve been told that, in particular, this was THE Facebook video for the gays.  I’m not sure precisely sure what it is other than painfully frustrating, but give it a go and see how far you can make it.  I made it 41-seconds in before I had to stop it.  Let’s see how much of it you can take (oh, and by the by, the language is definitely not safe for work):

Insofar as this video is making a statement against homophobia, that’s great.  I’m glad to see that the internet is being used as a tool to connect members from various parts of the world into a digital community.  The interwebs are exciting, and this is the future y’all!  These young queers are certainly making the most of it, and that’s a wonderful thing.  Metaphorically speaking, these kids are like Queer 2.0, and I’m just running on Homos ’95.

So then why then am I so bothered by this video?  Is it the fact our operating systems might simply not be compatible, so to speak?  Or perhaps is it the fact that watching people vlog makes me quite uncomfortable with the extreme exhibitionism of it all?

Whatever the case, let’s discuss:

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Fingers Crossed the Returning Triumph of Gossip Girl is no Flash in the Pan
May 5, 2009

So after taking a pass at reviewing last week’s Gossip Girl on account of the fact that it would’ve pretty much consisted of nothing but different phrasings of “Georgina’s back” and lots of exclamation points (which is something I realize perhaps nobody else but me wants) I can attest that this week’s deserves at least a few words because–if nothing else–Eric has returned for 3 seconds!  And he’s not schilling for Neutrogena as I’d speculated!  Oh, and Georgina’s back, for realsies!  YESSS!!!!

georgina-bitch-back

Though speaking of schills, poor Vanessa seems to officially be CW’s face of Dove products, which let’s not forget is the company that markets itself around ideas of natural beauty, aka the sort of beauty Gossip Girl has precisely no interest in acknowledging.  I for one find Jessica Szohr to be really pretty, so color me shocked that the creators have dropper her but keep bringing out Rat-Nest-Raccoon-Face for the most random things (giving Rufus pep talks and distracting Lily so Rufus finish preparing his proposal dinner was yet another unsubtle nail in the we-haven’t-a-clue-what-to-do-with-you coffin).  

And speaking of Lil’ J, couldn’t they’ve at least found a way to briefly reunite the hag with her fag?  That could’ve been the moment where someone finally bitch-slap some style sense into her, but alas.  Apparently Jenny’s fug, like the city in which she calls home, never sleeps.

Anyways, I’m digressing. Given how ridiculous last night’s episode was, it looks like everybody apparently took their crazy pills in the intermittent time between shows. 

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The Day of the Locust is Unmitigated Insanity of the Highest Sort
May 4, 2009

It’s no secret that I’ve a penchant for movies that movies that are curious and over the top.  I’m an ardent obsessive of camp, and I revel in movies that flaunt their mad visions and embrace their craziest whims.  I love the movies that have never said “no” to a bad idea or considered that they might be crossing a line.  Hell, I’ve practically made it my quest to mine the coal of film’s expansive history in order to find the most glittering diamonds of batshit insanity.  Well, ladies and gentleman, I’ve already found what may the Hope Diamond of this journey.  I give you The Day of the Locust, a movie somehow far stranger than this surreal, French poster for the film:

rr_0008day-of-the-locust-posters

 

Oh, and it’s infinitely more garish than the America poster would imply:

day_of_the_locust

Still unconvinced?  Let me just give you a taste of the craze.  Let’s go watch aspiring starlet Faye Greener (Karen Black) get in a fight with her sickly father (Burgess Meredith):

I don’t know whether to laugh at the garish campiness of the performances or have nightmares for the rest of my life, but it’s captivatingly bizarre no matter your reaction, and believe me when I say that this scene is merely the tip of iceberge that is John Schlessinger’s epic, gonzo vision of Hollywood as the festering epicenter of failed dreams and a society in rapid decline.  There’s also (for example, yet impressively enough not limited to) the sublimely grotesque yet perversely compelling pleasures of Burgess Meredith’s heart attack at Donald Sutherland’s house, the church scene, Karen Black doing tequila shots (itself one of the profoundly ridiculous moments in cinema), and the cock fighting scene.  Seriously, I don’t know why you’d even bother finishing this reviews before putting it at the top of your Netflix queue.  Trust me.

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Every Band Should Have Their Own LeftRightLeftRightLeft
May 1, 2009

I totally recognize that Coldplay is pretty much the “rock” band for soccer moms, and I also recognize that admitting to liking Coldplay (unless you’re a soccer mom) is terminally lame.  Hell, it’s so lame that if you admit to liking Coldplay while in Williamsburg, a swarm of hipsters surrounds you and silently judges you as if you were responsible for bringing the swine flu to an elementary school.

Whatevs, though.  I think they’re great.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed all of their albums since I first bought Parachutes, and Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends was without a doubt one of my favorite albums of last year.  I’ve seen them live twice, and they have a sincere desire to make sure you’re having as much fun as they are when they’re performing.  There’s no posturing to be cool or edgy; it’s just unabashed love, and I for one appreciate that.

Also, there’s this:

coldplay leftrightleftrightleft

“What the hell is LeftRightLeftRightLeft?” you ask?  Well, according to Coldplay.com, it’s the new live album they’re giving away to all concert goers on this (presumably) last leg of their tour.  Oh, and also anyone that can’t make it to a show who instead downloads it from their website.  Says their site:

Good morning. We’re pleased to announce that Coldplay will be giving away a live CD, LeftRightLeftRightLeft, at every remaining live show in 2009 (apart from festival shows). Starting with the band’s first North American tour date, at West Palm Beach in Florida on May 15th, every fan attending a show will be given a free copy of the nine-track CD, which won’t be available elsewhere. Also on May 15th, LeftRightLeftRightLeft will be made available as a free download right here at Coldplay.com, for all fans (and for the same time period). 

According to the band, the give-away is meant as a recession-busting mark of gratitude to everyone who’s supported them: “Playing live is what we love. This album is a thank you to our fans – the people who give us a reason to do it and make it happen.”

Hell yes, Coldplay.  Yet another reason for me to love you long time.

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The “Plot” for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is Even More Ludicrous Than Expected
May 1, 2009

The final trailer for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen has arrived, and it makes me yearn for the days when it looked like this movie was just going to be two hours of Michael Bay’s patented brand of “high art” (robot carnage and lots of explosions).  Just look at this mess:

So let’s get this clear: Shia LaBeouf touches that shard thing, has an acid flashback, and then proceeds to scribble ominous hieroglyphics anywhere and everywhere possible.  All of this somehow relates back other hieroglyphics found around the world that seem to have something to do an impending robot war.  A war that, amongst other places, will take place in a college library.  Riiiiiight.  I’m not saying that this is the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever seen, but, really, it’s totally the most ludicrous thing I’ve ever seen.  This of course means I have to see it as soon as is Earthly possible.

I’ve never seen a movie enter such crazed stratospheres of absurdity in its attempt to string together set pieces.  These action sequences are held together by the narrative equivalent of Batshit Krazy Glue.  I recognize that trying to find a glimmer of logic in a movie about battling robots that’s directed by Michael Bay is a foolish endeavor, like going fishing in a bath tub or me making love to a woman, but really?  Most movies require you to suspend your belief, but Transformers 2 is looking as though you need to jettison it off into the darkest recesses of space. Well played, Michael Bay.  You’re officially the craziest man in Hollywood, and I mean that with the utmost respect.

Also, judging from the trailers, Megan Fox’s character doesn’t go to college because she’s staying back home and working as a motorcycle mechanic.  The sexy motorcycle mechanic who wrote THE textbook on dressing appropriate for work, natch.  Seriously:

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There’s a Million Reasons Why Glee is Your New Favorite Show. Here are Just a Few
May 1, 2009

First and foremost, there’s the extended trailer.  Without a question, this show is going to be brilliant:

LOLOLOL!  This is the best, right?  RIGHT.

Still, if you find yourself needing talking points to explain to your friends why you’ll be busy on May 19th, as well as why they should also be canceling plans and staying in for the Glee preview special, then allow me to give you a few suggestions:

  • Glee is a genuinely clever spin on the archetypal high-school-set underdog narrative.  This is essentially like Bring It On (a movie that nobody, or at least nobody I’d ever care to know, doesn’t love) stretched into a serial television show and made infinitely more camp by being set in the musical-number-laden world of glee clubs.  You certainly don’t have to be a ‘mo to love this show, but it probably helps to have one in the family.  Or, at the least, your place of work.
  • Jane Lynch is in it.  This woman is an undeniable force of pure hilarity, and if she’s reason enough to see Post Grad, she certainly is reason enough to watch Glee.
  • Any mention of gold stars immediately triggers thoughts of Notes on a Scandal, which is a completely unrelated movie that is totally incredible and you really should see if you haven’t already.  Hell, just watching the trailer makes me certain that May 19th is going to be a gold star day.
  • Matthew Morrison, the guy who plays the teacher in charge of the glee club, is the Altoid of good looks.  He’s curiously handsome.
  • Ryan Murphy’s the creator.  He gave us the short-lived-but-totally-amazing show Popular and Nip/Tuck, a show that’s now completely derailed into batshit insanity but was genuinely great for the first two seasons.  Any television series that casts Famke “Fierce Bitch” Janssen as a tranny can’t be bad.
  • One word: Journey.

So there you have it.  Now neither you nor any of your friends have any excuses to not to watch Glee.  Seriously, y’all, it’s going to be the greatest.  Show.  EVER!

Much love to Parker for the tip!

Kick Your Day off Right with Jessye Norman’s “Liebestod”
May 1, 2009

Fact: Jessye Norman was born in Augusta, Georgia.  

Fact: Given that she’s a fellow Georgian, this fabulous diva always gives this ol’ opera queen a healthy dose of southern pride for biscuits and gravy and fried oreos and summer thunderstorms and the fact that it birthed the most gorgeous voice the world’s ever know.  

Fact: Jessye Norman’s rendition of Wagner’s “Liebestod” will most assuredly destroy you.  Particularly when she’s performing in front of a wall of fire and dressed in a gold robe, as she is for Jessye Norman: A Portrait, which should incidentally be noted as the DVD that now sits atop my Netflix queue.  

Consider yourselves warned:

Congratulations.  You’ve just had the high point of your day, and now the rest of it’s essentially ruined.  

You’re welcome.

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