Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

TGIF! Now Here’s the Current State of the U.S. Political Conversation
March 4, 2016

In case you missed it (and you know missed it), Donald Trump took a moment out of last night’s Republican Debate on Fox News to talk about his penis, which he guarantees “there’s no problem.” This all came about, mind you, after Marco Rubio apparently made a comment about Donald Trump having small hands, which he inferred meant other things were small, too. I see you, Rubio, you shady queen. The crowd ate it up like it was an all-you-can-eat sausage buffet, which I guess makes the Republican constituency a Samantha. Dickalicious, indeed.

Since I only understand things in terms of Showgirls references, I did a Google search for the line “She looks better than a ten inch dick and you know it.” I’d have settled for a GIF of Henrietta Bazoom to drop into this post, but instead I found the safe-for-work image results of a whole lotta not-Showgirls and lo-and-behold I sh*t you not our two new friends:

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Life Is a Cabaret, Old Chum…
January 27, 2016

donald trump biggest fan facebook also shared tomorrw belongs to me cabaret

 

According to Facebook, people who shared the CNN Video “Dreams come true for Trump’s ‘biggest fan'” also shared the Hitler Youth number from Cabaret, which seems about right.

Happy Easter, From a Good Egg
April 5, 2015

bette davis easter egg

And a happy birthday to Bette Davis! We love you!

[original image via Pinterest]

Mark Block’s Ad for Herman Cain: “Now is the time for action!”
October 25, 2011

Is it way Mark Block uses his words (robot awkward), the “Was it as good for you?” drag he takes from his cigarette, the au-currant-power-pop-meets-jingoism theme song, or the Herman Cain nightmare smile that only a mother an America hungry for action could love? I don’t know, y’all, but whatever it is, this Herman Cain ad is some kind of (batshit) wonderful.

And you know, if politics really is theater, then this is on par with a production of Cats as directed by Corky St. Clair.

Much love to Jenkins for this one.

Hooray for the New First Lady of New York, Ms. Sandra Lee!
November 3, 2010

You know, I should probably be more bothered over last night’s elections, but I’m curiously at ease with all of this.  Sure, I find the news that Iowa apparently lost its damn mind and voted out three of their state’s supreme court judges on account of last year’s ruling to make Iowa one badass bitch of a state to be both terribly disheartening and equally worrisome, but I’m also young and optimistic, so I know I still have plenty of time to meet and marry my dream Canadian boyfriend.  Or any Canadian, for that matter (HEYYY LADIEEES).  What can I say?  Desperate times (Sarah Palin for President) call for desperate measures (sham marriages).  Just sayin’.

Of course, it’s also worth noting I’m currently taking great comfort in Andrew Cuomo trouncing Carl Paladino and being elected Governor of New York.  Carl Paladino is The Worst, and not only is Andrew Cuomo is not The Worst, you know what else?  He’s dating Food Network persona Sandra Lee.  Sanity has been restored, y’all, and on top of all that, I bet the governor’s mansion is long overdue for a semi-homemade makeover:

You know, the sort makeover that happens when ponies stop doing musicals and start doing interior decoration.

Now you might be thinking to yourself that this is a terrible idea, but let me tell you, America: NO, IT’S NOT.  You might say tablescapes and cocktail time have no place in quote-unquote “serious politics,” but that’s suggesting we have to restore ALL the sanity.  Can’t we save just one oh-so-delectable slice of batshit crazy and toss the rest of the insanity into the dumpster?  I mean, have you seen what happens when she dresses up for her Halloween episodes, America?  This happens:

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At Last! A Video About International Politics That Makes Sense!
November 5, 2009

If years of education that included absolutely zero classes involving international politics have taught me anything, it’s that you can always the country whose cultural attaché is a robotic cat with a penchant for pancakes:

foreign minister komura doraemon pancakes

When it comes to basically everything, Japan speaks the universal language of batshit crazy, and this makes it pretty much impossible to not pay attention when the topic turns to current global affairs.  Seriously, you might as well ignore Raymond Babbitt at a black jack table, because you know that whatever ridiculousness the Japanese contributes to the conversation is going to be the path to diplomacy and world peace.

Which, of course, is precisely the message this little nugget of lunacy, “My Boyfriend Is the President”:

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Barney Frank Makes America’s Crazies Infinitely More Fun
August 19, 2009

I hate to drop the class bomb on you so unexpectedly, but this woman’s outfit is killing me with its incredible classiness:

class bomb

Nothing says “I am capable of making a well reasoned argument that legitimizes the hyperbolic comparison of a Fascist dictator responsible for ordering the deaths of millions with a President pushing for health care reform” quite like an exposed bra and cut sleeves.  Really, without the cut sleeves and the Flashdance-esque collar, I’m pretty sure I’d just write this woman off as a total crazy.  Actually, I’m pretty sure she’s still a total crazy for wearing such a ridiculous shirt with an infinitely more ridiculous political message, but at least you can spot it from a mile away with that outfit.

This other woman looks well put together and quite sane; however, the second she opens her mount, she puts all doubts to rest:

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