Archive for April, 2012

UGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
April 17, 2012

No, Siri-ously, UGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Much love to Videogum for this one.

BREAKING FAT BETTY NEWS! “Fat Betty” Is Simply the Best Song Based on Ram Jam’s “Black Betty”
April 16, 2012

Put on your eatin’ dresses, stop all the music, and be sure to save room for ice cream! “Fat Betty” is the only song we’ll need from here on out. EVER.

Much love to Vulture for this one.

Betty Draper Francis and a Bowl of Sausage Gravy. You’re Welcome.
April 12, 2012

The question isn’t “Who would want a picture of Betty Draper Francis and a bowl of sausage gravy?” No no, the question is “Who wouldn’t?”

TGIF! Here’s Some Dying Cats Singing “My Heart Will Go On”
April 6, 2012

Sure, it’s no me-at-karaoke, but the sound of a few cats dying might as well be the sound of two cats f*cking, so this deserves a gold star, even if this is Kate Winslet’s reaction. Besides, Titanic 3-D is out this weekend, and if you think I’m not going to be seeing it, you clearly forget that I’m a teenage girl wearing bad idea pajama jeans trapped in a gay man’s body. Seriously, such a special occasion deserves a moment of recognition, and if  Dead Cat Orchestra’s charmingly weird cover of “My Heart Will Go On” isn’t up to the task, I don’t know what is! Wouldn’t you agree, Hausu Ghost Cat?

(more…)

The Theme of the Week’s Been “Eating Things,” So Here’s an Ad for Vagine Cuisine
April 5, 2012

Laaadieees, have you ever wished your muff tasted like an oral…Mex buffet? Of course you haven’t, BUT LET’S PRETEND:

Especially spicy fajita, girlfriend. And thanks to Vagine Cuisine, now your Down South can taste truly South of the Border! OLÉ!

(more…)

In Honor of Betty Draper Francis, Here’s a New Ben & Jerry’s Flavor
April 5, 2012

And it’s called “Bugle Bombshell.” Sadly, though, this best idea food baby is but a tease from Tauntr.com (that name, so apt right now!), because I’m all too certain I’d otherwise throw on my favorite eating dress (the salmon–mmm, salmon–number with the pom poms) and nom nom nom the f*ck out of it. Betty Draper/Francis eating ice cream GIF knows exactly what I’m talking about.

Much love to UPROXX for this one.

Good Luck With That One…
April 4, 2012

Sure, we’ve all at some point wanted to read an article about ladies who spell “I Heart Ryan Gosling” with a silent “vagina,” but I don’t know if this intrepid reporter’s going to get anywhere using a Craigslist post. Ryan Gosling is the internet’s #1 crush, and besides, everybody knows Craigslist is for rim jobs, Inception style.

Much love to Craigslist by way of Videogum for this one.

In Honor of Revenge’s Most Anticipated Return to TV, Here’s “Sh*t Hamptons Matriarchs Say”
April 4, 2012

When a stripper bludgeons a private dick to death with a tire iron, you know you’re in the presence of prime time soap opera perfection, so I’d say you should be watching Revenge if you aren’t already, but really, why bother? This supercut of Victoria Grayson’s best bon mots of bitchiness and gilded nuggets of Hamptons upper-crust c*ntery speaks for itself:

(more…)

30 Seconds of Slapping Begs an Important Question: Why Am I Not Watching Game of Thrones?
April 3, 2012

I haven’t the slightest context for any of this, but who cares? And more importantly: why in the world am I not watching Game of Thrones? Not only is Game of Thrones hard fantasy storytelling with crossover appeal, but it’s got Peter Dinklage bitch slapping the sass from some twink named Joffrey’s mouth. That doesn’t just say I should be watching; it screams it like a slut during last call at the d*ck buffet. Set my interest to STUNNED!

Much love to Buzzfeed for this one.

Betty Draper Also Loves Ice Cream
April 2, 2012

F***ck, and I do so love the way Betty Draper loves her ice cream. Bugles are out! Ice cream sundaes are in! Betty, stop bogarting the sundaes!

Much love to leo & television for this one.

Betty Draper Loves Eating Bugles
April 2, 2012

Goodbye, other Mad Men GIFs. Yes, you’re all amazing in your own special ways, but only one GIF can be my spirit animal, and Betty Draper nom nom nomming on Bugles ’til the end of the interwebs is that GIF.

Much love to Max Silvestri’s tumblr (by way of his Twitter) for this one.

%d bloggers like this: