Archive for the ‘Music Videos’ Category

I Really Really Really Really Really Really Like Everything About This
March 8, 2015

tom hanks carly rae jepsen i really like you

I get that not everything on this blog is goint to be camp, and Carly Rae Jepsen is definitely not camp, but whatever. This music video for “I Really Like You” is terminally delightful in every way, and that’s good enough for a Sunday post:


In Honor of MDNA’s Release, Here’s a Really Great Music Video for Madonna’s “Girl Gone Wild”
March 28, 2012

At this point, it’s almost not even worth mentioning that Madonna’s MDNA came out earlier this week. After all, if you’re reading this, chances are either you or at least one of your friends is a friend of Dorothy, which means either you or at least one of your friends has spent the past few days sashaying up and down your Facebook News Feed with quips and comments about the new Madonna album. Simply put: WE KNOW ALREADY, QUEEN. Hell, I’d offer my own two cents, but Madonna has so much money she probably scoffs at small change like a bouquet of hydrangeas. Besides, the last album I shared my thoughts on was Christina Aguilera’s Bionic, and we all know how well that turned out.

ANYWAYS, this wouldn’t the blog it is without some sort of MDNA-related post (duh), so here’s a music video for Madonna’s latest single, “Girl Gone Wild.” It may not be the official video, but it probably should be:


The Lady Tigra’s “Summertime LA” Is the Hottest New Summer Jam
July 28, 2011

I know I said “I Got Pregnant” was our summer jam, but changing her mind is prerogative held by both women and fickle queens alike, y’all. Besides, the Lady Tigra’s “Summertime” has swooped in like a p*ssed off, crown-hungry drag queen and SNATCHED. MY. LOVE. Can you blame me? Those lyrics? POETRY. The beats? SICKENING. Seriously, the only thing hotter than waiting in an MTA station in NYC this past weekend is this song. One’s guaranteed to make you sweat, the other make you moist. Ew. Whatever. So hot, this song! The hottest, even!

Oh, and also:


Apparently This Is the Original Video for Britney’s “Gimme More”
July 19, 2011

I mean, what? Did that just happened? Really? Wow. Just wow, y’all. That is a mess. A mess! And I love it. Obviously.

You know, had this been released back when in 2007, it probably would’ve been my favorite train wreck on a stripper stage of the year. Sorry, Lindsay Lohan in I Know Who Killed Me. People get cut (from hot mess stripper lists). That’s life.

Much love to Buzzfeed by way of Vulture for this one.

Doug Hughs Is Going Places With “Lights, Camera, Agent!”
July 19, 2011

A music video that namechecks John Wayne, Spencer Tracy, James Dean, Humphrey Bogart, Marlon Brando, Paul Newman, and yourself as a bid for fame and stardom? Oh, OH! This is rich! I bet Brad, our new favorite non-union actor-slash-model, is so p*ssed off right now that he didn’t think of this first. “Why didn’t I think of this first?!?”–Brad. And also probably Lindsay “Why wasn’t I in Black Swan?” Lohan, too, for that matter.

There’s just one thing bothering me about this video, though:


In Case You Were Wondering What Coldplay’s “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall” Is Doing Here…
June 29, 2011

You know, despite having a reasonably well documented (albeit vaguely shameful) love for Coldplay, I’m all too well aware that their new video for “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall” doesn’t exactly belong over on this corner of the interwebs. Loving Coldplay is decidedly unhip, and while loving things like Showgirls and Joan Crawford something fierce isn’t exactly the contraband Four Loko that’ll get me points with the cool crowd, Coldplay isn’t camp either. Hell, about the only tangible connection between Coldplay’s target audience (soccer moms) and myself is that we both love white wine, eating our feelings, and wondering where the best years of our lives went. Still, this blog isn’t called NOM NOM NOM CRYBABY TEARS (I’m saving that for my memoir), so like I said, Coldplay’s new video probably doesn’t belong here.

Unless, of course, I find the proper GIF that best conflates both my nearly debilitating levels of homosexuality and the fact that I’m a super (not so) secret softie, and OH WAIT, I DID:


This “Abracadabra” Video Has the Best Dancing You’ll See All Day
June 16, 2011

These ladies (and gents!) have got it down, y’all. Not only is this song the catchiest earworm this side of an Ashlee Simpson single, but the dancing is exquisitely Nomi Malone. And by that, I mean they’re all pelvic thrust.

Much love to Buzzfeed for this one.

‘Cos It Ain’t Summer Without a Summer Jam: “I Got Pregnant”
June 9, 2011

I don’t know about you guys, but it is f*cking hot as balls in NYC, y’all. Seriously, I grew up in the South, so I’m well aware that this is what summers do: they get hot. No duh. I’m also well aware of the fact, though, that at a certain temperature there’s only one effective way to really cool off: or sipping gin and tonics and fanning yourself on a plantation veranda. However, seeing as I sadly do not live in a Tennessee Williams play, we’ll have to try and cool off with our new summer jam, “I Got Pregnant”:


Kidz Bop’s “Single Ladies”: Singular Proof Kidz Bop Is Not Beyoncé
April 28, 2011

Well, the subtext here is infinitely creepier than Beyoncé’s utterly delightful “Move Your Body” (which is what the cool kids are Jazzercising to these days), and we’ve regrettably already seen this bad idea before, but at least future child brides of the world now have a sassy pop anthem all unto their own? OH, THANK GOODNESS.

Much love to Videogum for this one.

Beyoncé’s “Move Your Body”: Further Proof That Beyoncé’s the Best
April 27, 2011

Look, I’m not saying that I had any doubts after witnessing her work the hell out that Betty Page wig and deliver her lines in the oh-so-exquisitely-camp way she did in the video for Lady Gaga’s “Telephone.” Nor were there really any lingering doubts whatsoever after watching one of 2009’s unheralded gems, Obsessed. All I know is that when America’s fiercest First Lady, Michelle Obama, says, “I want you to make a video promoting exercise in the fight against childhood obesity,” Beyoncé asks, “Can I do it in a dazzling neon explosion of fetching heels and knee-high socks?” And if that’s not further proof that Beyoncé is the best, f*ck me if I know what is.

Much love to Vulture for this one.

I’m Only Happy When It Rains (In Texas)
October 23, 2010

As anyone who grew up in the 90s knows, Garbage’s Shirley Manson is only happy when it rains:

And while I must admit that I myself am ofttimes anything often but happy when it rains in New York City (straddling a space heater for half the work day in an attempt dry off after you were drenched by horizontal rain as you walked up 7th Avenue has a way of doing that to you, but I also never got into splooshing–do NOT look that up, Mom–so whatever), I have to admit that I can be quite fine with whatever the hell freak storm was recently happening in Texas:


The Music Video for Brandon Flowers’s “Crossfire” Has Got EVERYTHING
July 8, 2010

I’m not kidding, either.  The video for “Crossfire,” the first single off Brandon Flower’s forthcoming solo album Flamingo, has got action:

And ninjas!

It’s got Brandon Flowers as a man-damsel in distress:

Scruffy man-damsel deliciousness!

But most importantly, it’s got Charlize Theron (whaaa!?!):

And–f*ck yeah!–more ninjas!  Seriously, ladies and gentlemen, what more could ask for?  That’s right: NOTHING.  So sit back and enjoy “Crossfire,” y’all:


Jersey Shore Deep Thoughts: On Enrique Iglesias’s “I Like It”
July 1, 2010

Last night, faithful reader and fellow pop culture blogger Alex brought this video to my attention, so you can thank/blame him for this one.  Here’s the music video for Enrique Iglesias’s “I Like It” featuring Pitbull.  Oh, and the cast of Jersey Shore:

First off: HUH?!?

Is Enrique Iglesias still cool kid music?  Did “Sad Eyes” make him hip again?  (Please let it be “Sad Eyes” that made him hip again because that video is AWESOME.)  Also, is a love of Enrique Iglesias some sort of secret, previously unspoken part of the guido subculture that Jersey Shore‘s second season will explore with the same nuance and cultural sensitivity that it brought to sausage and peppers and fist pumping and pickle sucking, or is this a we-set-this-one-in-Miami thing?

Where the hell is Sourpuss during this mess?

enrique iglesias i like it jersey shore version

Oh, I’m sorry, I meant Angelina.  Did she pack up her trash bags and head back home again?

Do you know who loves fist pumping?  Guidos.  Do you know who loves fist pumping AND doing their best moves from The Matrix on people’s couches?  Enrique Iglesias.

But perhaps most importantly:


Katy Perry Has a Refined Sense of Humor
June 16, 2010

Remember that one time Katy Perry tweeted this?

And how it was most likely in response to a certain someone’s “shocking” (it was not shocking) latest video?  No?  Because you, like me, try and avoid Katy Perry like a plague

Anyways, the music video for Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” arrived on the interwebs yesterday, and though it may have already been yanked, its brief appearance has already left us a single GIF to remind us what a not-a-fart joke looks like (and be sure to click the image and see this mess in motion):


The Video For Adam Lambert’s “If I Had You” Is What Happens When Fabulousness Snorts Angel Dust
June 15, 2010

There’s flamboyant, and then there’s Adam Lambert rocking a pompadour/mullet, bedazzled and bespiked shoulder pads, and enough glittery make-up to glamourize a small neighborhood of frumpy hausfraus, which is why he’s affectionately known to many as Glambert.  Adam Lambert’s “If I Had You” music video:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Hot damn, y’all.  I’m pretty sure unicorns farting glitter would be less flamboyant than this music video, and I mean that as a compliment.

Naturally I love this, in large part because Glambert totally won me over with For Your Entertainment; since then been waiting for a music video to properly capture his fabulousness, and I’m pretty sure “If I Had You” is the video for that.  At least until they make a music video for “Strut.”  Or, fingers crossed, “Fever.”

Added to that, and maybe this is just me, but I prefer to trip balls vicariously.  I’ve seen what that shit does to Helen Hunt, and it ain’t pretty.  So once again, I’m pretty sure “If I Had You” is the video for that.  At least until they make a video for “Strut.”  Or, fingers crossed, “Fever.”

One thing I’m most definitely sure of about “If I Had You,” though, is that “If I Had You” is the video Adam Lambert where is clearly this summer’s fashion icon for the over-sexed, aging drag queen set:


Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner’s Official Response to Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro”
June 8, 2010


Reaction: Ermm, neat?

Don’t get me wrong: on a purely aesthetic level, “Alejandro” is a slick–if chilly–experience.  Sure, previous videos have been more unabashed efforts in batshit insanity and/or delirious camp (two qualities I’ve long adored in Lady Gaga’s oeuvre), but I suppose some sort of restraint in those arenas is the price of artistic growth, so brava!  I guess?

Added to that, I’m sure there’s a way interpret “Alejandro” as nearly nine minutes of back-up dancers in various states of fascist-themed fetish gear, Lady Gaga in various states of Catholicism-inspired dress/undress, machine gun bras, pageboy haircuts, and overtly gay imagery (you can’t call it homoerotic when it’s anything but subtle, Shot of Push-Ups That Look “Conspicuously” Like Butt Sex) that coalesce into some sort of treatise on Foucauldian power structures and queer revolution; unfortunately for me, I’ve recently been gorging on far too much pop culture garbage to fit into my size-28 pretentious pants and try waaay too hard to convince myself I’m anything other than strangely underwhelmed by “Alejandro.”  It’s entirely serviceable, possibly even genius, but by no means blowing my mind.

And besides:


The Single Greatest Artistic Achievement of the 21st Century
May 28, 2010

Artist: Countess LuAnn of The Real Housewives of New York

Title: “Money Can’t Buy You Class”

Year: 2010

Medium: Mixed (Audio, Video, Tranny Robot)


Holy f*ck.

Well, I guess art students across America can all just go kill themselves while listening to their Smiths records now, because they’re never going to top that.  Ever.

And you know that somewhere in this great big world of ours, Nomi Malone is shedding a single bedazzled tear of pride:


Let’s All Watch the Video for Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” Why? Because I Said So
May 18, 2010

One of my friends decided that today was Billy Joel Tuesday, which–as I’m a child of the ’80s–is the sort of thing I can get behind; unfortunately, given how neither Billy Joel nor his music fall under the banner of homo things, this is really just an excuse to post the video for “We Didn’t Start the Fire” and marvel at its real star: that kitchen.

That kitchen is like a cross between a history lesson in American kitsch aesthetics and a museum of pop culture tchotchkes throughout the ages.  In hindsight, it all looks rather garish and camp, particularly the late 80s, but that doesn’t come as a particular surprise.  After all, the 80s was all about shoulder pads for women, which are only acceptable when you’re Joan Crawford.  Or starring in an episode of Dynasty:

That’s not to say I’m complaining, though.  No no, when it comes to that kitchen, I want to go to all of theres, so let’s all sit back and enjoy the video for Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire”:


“Not Myself Tonight” Is the New Gold Standard of Batslut Insanity
April 30, 2010

I think it’s important to contextualize the new music video for Christina Aguilera’s “Not Myself Tonight” with a couple things: firstly, unless you work in a sex shop that specializes in high-end leather wear and bedazzled gag balls or an office with an HR staff that doesn’t consider getting your Nomi Malone on and mercilessly humping EVERYTHING inappropriate workplace conduct (so basically you work at the Cheetah), then yes, “Not Myself Tonight” might in fact be considered Not Safe For Work.  More importantly, though, I’m pretty sure that Sarah Michelle Gellar’s Christina Aguilera impersonation is going to be so miffed that the real Xtina finally got around to doing a cover of Lil’ Kim’s “C*m-Guzzling F*ck Whore”:

Oh lordy, Christina, that was most certainly skanky enough.  Bonkers, too, which can only mean that we need to talk about this thing, so let’s all put some aloe vera on our Christina burns and talk about this thing after the jump.


We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Blogcast for a Special Message From the Dandy Warhols
April 20, 2010

Look, all I’m saying is that I don’t have to be Jewish to wish someone a happy Hanukkah, and so in that same spirit I present to you this gem from The Dandy Warhols’ Odditorium or Warlords of Mars:

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go and speak with Ms. Carrie Bradshaw.  She simply refuses to stop bogarting the sundae.  That is all.

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