Archive for June, 2011

This Chinese Male Cheerleader Is the Best Cheerleader. PERIOD.
June 30, 2011

I’m sorry casts of Bring It On, Bring It On Again, Bring It On: All or Nothing, Bring It On: In It to Win ItBring It On: Fight to the Finish, and Jaime Pressly in Not Another Teen Movie, but it has already been broughten. FOREVER.

Et tu, Kirsten Dunst?

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In Case You Were Wondering What Coldplay’s “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall” Is Doing Here…
June 29, 2011

You know, despite having a reasonably well documented (albeit vaguely shameful) love for Coldplay, I’m all too well aware that their new video for “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall” doesn’t exactly belong over on this corner of the interwebs. Loving Coldplay is decidedly unhip, and while loving things like Showgirls and Joan Crawford something fierce isn’t exactly the contraband Four Loko that’ll get me points with the cool crowd, Coldplay isn’t camp either. Hell, about the only tangible connection between Coldplay’s target audience (soccer moms) and myself is that we both love white wine, eating our feelings, and wondering where the best years of our lives went. Still, this blog isn’t called NOM NOM NOM CRYBABY TEARS (I’m saving that for my memoir), so like I said, Coldplay’s new video probably doesn’t belong here.

Unless, of course, I find the proper GIF that best conflates both my nearly debilitating levels of homosexuality and the fact that I’m a super (not so) secret softie, and OH WAIT, I DID:

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He-Man Is a Pretty Pretty Princess
June 28, 2011

Between his fabulous secret powers and this equally fabulous pink dressing table, are we to assume that He-Man stands alongside Snagglepuss and Jem in the Saturday Morning Cartoon Power Bottom Pantheon? And could She-Ra actually be a He-Ra with some truly exceptional tuck game? Oh, how my mind reels! (With stupid, stupid questions.)

Much love to I have seen the whole internet for this one.

Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” Featuring Nigel Thornberry
June 27, 2011

I’ve learned in my old age (27, which in gay years is OLD) to not really question the internet. Much like that U2 song (*TERRIBLE PUN ALERT!*), she moves in mysterious ways (oof, so sorry!). In this particular case, that means smashing up Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” (a thing that I love) with a short soundbite of Nigel Thornberry from Nickelodeon’s The Wild Thornberrys (a thing that I watched in my youth, aka, when I was not OLD). It is very internet, which is to say a strange amalgamation of the contemporary and the nostalgic. And also curiously–perhaps even dadaistically, if you will–wonderful:

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This “Abracadabra” Video Has the Best Dancing You’ll See All Day
June 16, 2011

These ladies (and gents!) have got it down, y’all. Not only is this song the catchiest earworm this side of an Ashlee Simpson single, but the dancing is exquisitely Nomi Malone. And by that, I mean they’re all pelvic thrust.

Much love to Buzzfeed for this one.

Toasters ‘N’ Moose’s “Taste the Biscuit”: The Ode to Biscuits That’s Been Missing From Our Lives
June 15, 2011

If you’re in a two-piece band called Toasters ‘N’ Moose, and your keyboardist is ofttimes mistaken for a homeless person while your vocalist reminds me of a less zaftig Paula Deen, and you’ve just scored the opportunity to play a place called Dante’s (or something) that looks sorta like the world’s saddest Salvation Army (is there any other kind?), but they’ve only allowed you to do one song, well, you’ve gotta make it a good one. So you’d better break out your big guns (nay, your biggest!), which obviously is a “song” called “Taste the Biscuit”:

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Because We Already Got Pregnant, Let’s All Go to Gina’s House!
June 10, 2011

Remember our hot new favorite summer jam, “I Got Pregnant”?

Of course you do. Anywho, because it’s completely amazeballs, and because I care about your cultural consumption (you’re looking so peaked; are you eating enough?), here’s the Fun Club’s original video (and source of inspiration for our favorite pop song about getting preggers), “Gina’s House”:

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This Nine-Year-Old Boy Performing Madonna’s “Vogue” in the Summer of ’91 Is the Best
June 10, 2011

Well this nine-year-old’s ability to work it brings great shame to the rest of us for not working it more during our obviously misspent youth, but who cares? This video’s a glorious jolt of fabulosity to brighten our Friday, and as far as I’m concerned, no Friday is complete without ample strut and shimmy and FACE. WORK IT, QUEEN!

Much love to @RichJuz by way of Videogum for this one.

This eHarmony Girl Loves Cats
June 9, 2011

I told you so.

Much love to Videogum for this one.

‘Cos It Ain’t Summer Without a Summer Jam: “I Got Pregnant”
June 9, 2011

I don’t know about you guys, but it is f*cking hot as balls in NYC, y’all. Seriously, I grew up in the South, so I’m well aware that this is what summers do: they get hot. No duh. I’m also well aware of the fact, though, that at a certain temperature there’s only one effective way to really cool off: or sipping gin and tonics and fanning yourself on a plantation veranda. However, seeing as I sadly do not live in a Tennessee Williams play, we’ll have to try and cool off with our new summer jam, “I Got Pregnant”:

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