Once upon a much more innocent and simpler time, I really loved the hell out of Gossip Girl. It was completely absurd, but I loved it so. The plot lines always resolved themselves in a matter of episodes, and a great deal of drama was either totally regurgitated whenever needed (Serena and Dan, together yet again!) or totally ludicrous (Lily and Rufus have a secret baby!), but that didn’t mean the show lacked flair. Like good trash television, it knew the marks to hit and hit them with aplomb.
The costumes were either fabulous or fabulously tacky, so either way they’re good for conversation. The dialogue was frequently smart, and the Chuck-and-Blair banter occasionally even reached rather Hawksian heights of verbal sparring. And let’s not forget that Gossip Girl birthed Georgina, an F5 tornado (F is for fierce) of pure bitchcraft that made the show briefly crackle with a palpable electricity.
But the past few weeks of Gossip Girl have been pretty miserable, and tonight’s episode doesn’t really put me in anticipation of any great review. Between the teacher/student affairs, the secret sex clubs, and the reunion between Nate and Blair that rests firmly atop the Do Not Want list, I’ve pretty much accepted that I’ll follow Gossip Girl through the rest of this season out of loyalty alone. Even Georgina’s return just makes soul hurt; why drag her down with this sinking ship, Josh Schwartz? You already introduced those terrible (and by terrible, i mean boring and poor) public school kids in the third season of The O.C.! Haven’t your wrought enough carnage?
Obviously not, because we’re getting this mess May 11th:
This is the promo poster for the Gossip Girl flashback episode involving Lily van der Woodsen’s youth in L.A. This poster says, “I’m a twenty-something actress that’s been lit in this poster to more closely resemble a thirty-something drag queen because I’m a show that’s all about quality.” This poster also says, “Please watch me despite the fact that I’m a terrible idea made real only by riding the wave of middling hype of a once-great-but-now-rather-dreadful show.” This poster is the new (tranny) face of the Do Not Want list.
Let’s hope this is not suggestive of what’s to come with these final episodes of this season’s Gossip Girl because that’s one gaudily styled train wreck of despair. Le sadness, indeed.
Update: This post was initially written under the impression that “Valley Girls” was to be an official spin-off show. It has since been reported that “Valley Girls” is merely a flash-back episode in the second season; however, depending most likely on fan reaction and ratings, this train-wreck could be a go for this fall.