TGIF! Now Here’s a “She Wolf” Fan Video That Should’ve Been a Star
March 18, 2016

he wolf el lobito gay

I feel like there used to be a time on the Internet when you couldn’t blink without coming across some twink’s bid for fifteen minutes of viral video celebrity and a lifetime of telling the same story at your local gay bar about the one time you got three million YouTube views from dancing in your mom’s shower to Britney Spears. It was the late 2000s, and everything seemed possible, which is why I don’t understand why this particular homage to Shakira’s “She Wolf” never even broke 100,000 views:

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TGIF! Now Let’s All Rejoice That There’s a New Ladyhawke Song!
March 11, 2016

ladyhawke wild things
Yesterday, Ladyhawke (aka, my favorite synth pop artist, aka, Pip Brown) announced her new album, Wild Things, would be out on June 3rd. Better still, a lyric video for her new single, “A Love Song”, was out now. Naturally, I reacted accordingly.

It’s one thing that her album shares the same name as the greatest erotic noir cinematic trashterpiece of all time, but it’s something else entirely that her sublimely ebullient slice of synth pop single has come in a form reminiscent of my favorite psychedelically insane cat GIF of all time. What I’m trying to say is if every Friday deserves a dance party, this Friday is particularly deserving, and it’s got “A Love Song”:

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TGIF! Now Here’s the Current State of the U.S. Political Conversation
March 4, 2016

In case you missed it (and you know missed it), Donald Trump took a moment out of last night’s Republican Debate on Fox News to talk about his penis, which he guarantees “there’s no problem.” This all came about, mind you, after Marco Rubio apparently made a comment about Donald Trump having small hands, which he inferred meant other things were small, too. I see you, Rubio, you shady queen. The crowd ate it up like it was an all-you-can-eat sausage buffet, which I guess makes the Republican constituency a Samantha. Dickalicious, indeed.

Since I only understand things in terms of Showgirls references, I did a Google search for the line “She looks better than a ten inch dick and you know it.” I’d have settled for a GIF of Henrietta Bazoom to drop into this post, but instead I found the safe-for-work image results of a whole lotta not-Showgirls and lo-and-behold I sh*t you not our two new friends:

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TGIF! Now Here’s 22 Leonardo DiCaprio Performances Reenacted by His Lesbian Doppelgänger
February 26, 2016

Well, it’s the Friday before the Academy Awards, and if there’s anything more guaranteed in life right now than death or taxes, it’s Leonardo DiCaprio’s Best Actor win for The Revenant, so here’s a video of 22 Leonardo DiCaprio performances as brought to you by Leo’s lesbian doppelgänger, “Lesbo DiCaprio.”

This “stunning montage” (this video’s description’s words, not mine) is brought to you by ACTING, a lesbian who’s more butch than me (that’s not hard) but not so butch as to where I have a crush on her (that’s Ryan Atwood from The O.C.), and MORE ACTING. It’s the best costume (22 of them, in fact) to celebrate Leonardo DiCaprio’s Oscar thirst and the perfect way to segue into the weekend (with ACTING).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to work on my Fiona Apple at the Oscars impression.

[via AfterEllen; much love to Haley for this]

TGIF! Now Here’s the Robot Apocalypse Doing Your Lipstick
February 19, 2016

lipstick robot

This blog is more than just a pretty face and and unending parade of Showgirls references and camp appreciation. It’s also a corner of the Internet where we stand vigilant against the impending Robot Apocalypse. You can hoard guns and buy gold all you want, but neither sophisticated weaponry nor the shiny appeal of precious metals shall soften the robots’ vice-like grip of enslavement.

You may think this is a joke, but it’s no laughing matter, and if you don’t believe me, here’s chilling footage from Simone Giertz of our future robot overlords’ latest target, glamour:

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TGIF! Now Here’s 29 Celebrities Serving Some Gone With The Wind Realness
February 12, 2016

It’s Friday, so instead of overthinking it, I thought we could all use this video from W Magazine of 29 celebrities serving some gender-flipped Gone With The Wind realness. Nobody made a dress out of window treatments (unfortunately), but all of our favorites are here, and everybody is ACTING like it’s Awards Season and they’d like your vote, please.

Obviously, I love it.

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TGIF! Now Here’s Elizabeth Taylor with an Adorable, Matching Dog
April 3, 2015

elizabeth taylor with matching dog

Well, it’s Friday once again, and judging by the subways in NYC this morning, practically nobody’s going into work, so why not take a well-deserved break with this glamour photo of Elizabeth Taylor with an adorable, matching dog? It has everything I could ask for while on holiday: elegance, sophistication, the lavender backdrop from a Sears Portrait, jewelry, matching wigs, and Elizabeth Taylor. It even has a puppy, because other people love puppies, too, and why not? It’s Friday, and I’m not a monster!

So happy Friday, everybody! Just whatever you do, don’t ask who wore it better. You already know the answer.

[Image via Spoiled Maltese]

TGIF! Now Treat Yo Self With This Sunset Boulevard Spa GIF!
March 27, 2015

gloria swanson sunset boulevard spa

It’s Gloria Swanson’s birthday today, and after a week that definitely wasn’t ready for its close-up, Mr. DeMille, we could all use a little Golden Age of Hollywood glamour to put some pep in our step, so let’s put the “GIF” in TGIF with this soothing GIF of Gloria Swanson getting a spa-day massage and facial in Sunset Boulevard. It’s Friday, after all, so let’s all be sure to make like Ms. Swanson treat yo self(.gif)!

[GIF via Jenni Epperson]

TGIF! Now Here’s Jessica Lange’s Perfect Response to Lady Gaga Joining American Horror Story
March 20, 2015

The internet has momentarily clutched its pearls and lost its damn mind over over whatever this means, and oh dear god, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!? Well, whatever it means, it’s perfect.

The consensus seems to be that Jessica Lange shaded Lady Gaga over her joining the cast of American Horror Story: Hotel, so shots fired, queens! And sure, while that’s entirely possible, I think we should all be asking what kind of dumb question is “Does Gaga convince you [Jessica Lange] to stay for another season?” Seriously, what does that mean? Jessica Lange is Jessica F***ing Lange, and she does as she pleases, no questions asked!

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TGIF! Now Here’s The Art of the Belt with Miss Dixie Carter
March 6, 2015

Today, this blog is called “Classes”, because we need to work on your technique. It’s called “the Lion”, and it’s easy, really. Ready to roar? Just remember: deep breath in, don’t be shy, and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.

TGIF! Now Here’s Two German Daddies and a Dog Singing U2
February 20, 2015

Much like the tale of Athena as writ for an issue of Twink Fancy, here are two German muscle daddies and their bulldog singing along to U2’s “With or Without You”, a video sprung forth from the imagination of aging queen quietly approaching his twilight appreciation for silken caftans and aged spaetzle.

Happy Friday, you old queens!

[via @U2 Blog]

 

 

TGIF! Now Here’s a Young Chris Evans in Drag
February 6, 2015

Here is a clip from a circa-2000 sitcom called Opposite Sex, which features a young Chris Evans doing some very bad drag. The outfits are tacky even by late-90s standards, the contour lines appear to nonexistent, and nobody is lipsyncing for their life, let alone 2-for-1 drink tickets during happy hour. Sashay away, Captain America. Sashay away.

That said, the helium balloon t*ts are a nice touch, and there’s no point reading Milo Ventimiglia. He was in Heroes, so he has already had it enough.

[Seriously? OMG! WTF? by way of Dlisted]

Happy National Croissant Day!
January 30, 2015

I know, I know. I’ve posted this before. But you know what? That was years ago, and today’s National Croissant Day, and posting this video just felt so…

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TGIF! Now Here’s a Glorious GIF of Reese Witherspoon Dancing
August 15, 2014

reese witherspoon dancing

Ooh, girl. I don’t know about you, but this week has kinda been the worst. The worst! So thank goodness it’s Friday, but more importantly, thank goodness for this GIF of Reese Witherspoon’s sweet, sweet dance moves! Really, it’s the perfect aloe when a brutal week has left your ass chapped.

Get it, Reese Witherspoon! And get it, all of us! It’s Friday, and we’ve earned it!

[GIF via Dlisted]

Dance Party, Y’all, GUYS ONLY!
December 14, 2012

Oh man. Just a bunch of dapper-dressed gents, dancing and lip syncing to their favorite doo wop tunes, and best of all? NO GIRLS ALLOWED! We should all be so lucky to attend such a super cool sausage fest. TGIF, y’all!

Much love to Videogum for this one.

Joan Crawford! “Flashdance…What a Feeling”! Halleloo It’s Friday!
February 10, 2012

I’m sorry, maybe it’s the beast of a week I’ve had, or maybe just me being that queen (very likely), but this video is an utter and absolute delight! I mean, Irene Cara’s “Flashdance…What a Feeling”! Who doesn’t love that song? (Nobody.) And Joan Crawford dancing! Who doesn’t delight in Joan Crawford dancing? (Bette Davis, Christina Crawford, fools who refuse the imperative to dance.) My point is that this video’s as marvelous a salve to the week as it is a start to the weekend. And best of all:

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TGIF! Now Here’s a Stripper Fight
February 4, 2011

Now don’t let this picture fool you. The video after the jump of two strippers shouting profanities and beating the crap out of each other most certainly lacks the glamour of my above “artistic”interpretation. Also, unlike a certain movie I just can’t stop talking about, everybody manages to keep all their clothes on (well, all of their clothes being relative to the fact that they–strippers–often aren’t wearing any, but I digress), the fight does not erupt when someone is accused of f*cking the meter reader, and nobody ends up getting shoved down a flight of stairs. I know, I know:

Regardless of such shortcomings, though, this stripper catfight is still totally worth watching because have you ever heard of a catfight that’s not worth watching?  I don’t think so. Anywho, it’s Friday, and we’ve all put in a hard week’s work, so let’s all sit back and enjoy the delicate beauty and irrepressible classiness of two strippers fighting:
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TGIF! Now Let’s Go Country Hip-Hop Dancing With Diane Horner
June 25, 2010

No relation.  Unfortunately.

Much love to Videogum.

TGI Good Friday! Now Here’s Here’s a Lady Explaining How Jesus Was a Mushroom
April 2, 2010

I’m not sure if posting this video on Good Friday counts as a religious no-no, but in my defense I’m also a terrible Catholic.  Seriously, I’m eating beef stew on a Friday, I’ve never been confirmed, and the only time I ever saw Jesus was in a Magic Eye poster at the mall when I was 12, which I’m pretty sure does not count.  Anyways, if your idea of blasphemy includes videos of British women possibly tripping balls and definitely insisting that Jesus was actually a psychotropic mushroom used in Sumerian sex orgies, then I highly suggest you DO NOT WATCH.  Otherwise, enjoy:

Okay then.

At first, I couldn’t really decide which response if more appropriate: this one, or this one.  But then I watched her performance of “Jesus Was a Mushroom”:

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TGIF! Now Here’s Myles Cooper’s “Gonna Find Boyfriends Today”
February 26, 2010

I’m pretty sure that–second to the video of the My Little Ponies sing showtunes–this is easily the most delicious piece of eyeball candy you could have all week:

I like how this video pretends that the worst thing about living in a magical world that looks like Candy Land as seen through an acid flashback is not having a boyfriend.  HA, that’s adorable.  We all know the worst thing about living in a magical world that looks like Candy Land as seen through an acid flashback is having to refrain from eating your neighbors, the singing strawberry and the dancing cupcake.  I’m sorry, but when your psychedelic wonderland is like being stoned out of your damn mind 24/7, that is a world of self control that none of us have.  

Much love to Vanessa for bringing this into my life.

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