Archive for the ‘U2’ Category

St. Patrick’s Day is Here, and That Can Mean Only One Thing
March 17, 2009

Orange-Mocha Frappucinnos (spiked with Bailey’s and Jameson!) Vintage live U2 clips!  Here’s them performing “Mysterious Ways” on their Popmart Tour:  

The Edge’s guitar solo at the end is pretty much enough to get anyone drunk in my book, but I’m a notorious lightweight.  Hopefully you’re not seeing double, because he’s another round:

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U2 NLOTH Haiku Review: “Cedars of Lebanon”
March 3, 2009

Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3.  Whoopsies!  Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH.  Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku?  So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:

Aaaaaaaand we’re finally here.  At the end.  Turns out that my sore sinuses from the other day ended up being the first tremors of a bona-fide  sickquake.  Thankfully a little homemade chicken soup and a healthy dose bed-rest have got me back on my blogging feet (minus a scratchy throat, but thankfully I blog with my fingers, so no harm and no foul, I figure), but I digress.  We’re here to talk haiku reviews, not my old-maid tricks to getting over a winter-weather cold.  So FOCUS, people!  We’ve finally made it to the finish line of gonzo endeavor.  So dust off your mourning veils and get the kindling for your funeral pyres; this is the end of a (week-and-a-half-long) era:

cedars-haiku1

I suppose, as much as this is an end, we can always put the album on repeat (something I’ve already been plenty guilty of and shall continue to just get guiltier), so there’s no need for tears (well, except for the fact that you’ve just listen to “Cedars of Lebanon,” which is a one-way ticket to frowns-ville, population you and me). 

So there you have it.  Every song off No Line on the Horizon reviewed in haiku.  I’m sure this experience was deeply illuminating and informative in a 5-syllable/7-syllable/5-syllable sort of way.  Or perhaps they’ve inspired you to put me on blog-block.  For eternity.  

Either way, you’re welcome.

U2 NLOTH Haiku Review: “Breathe”
March 1, 2009

Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3.  Whoopsies!  Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH.  Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku?  So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:

Let’s file this under bitter irony: my sinuses decide to turn on me the day “Breathe” comes up in this little endeavor.  Woof.  Admittedly, I’m not a cloggy mess, but my sinuses are all dried out and burny.  It’s better than being a mucous machine  (too much information?  nonsense, we’re close at this point, so deal!), but still, it hurts to…wait for it…breathe.  Harharhar!

breathe-haiku

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, it’s time for me to find my neti pot.  I’m glad I got to share with you my sinus status and another haiku, my dears.  Tomorrow, the grand finale: “Cedars of Lebanon”!

As always, you can stream No Line on the Horizon on U2’s Myspace, so you can hear of which I haiku.

U2 NLOTH Haiku Review: “White as Snow”
February 28, 2009

Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3.  Whoopsies!  Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH.  Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku?  So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:

Given how joyfully upbeat the bulk of No Line on the Horizon is, “White as Snow” is kinda like an unexpected sadness kick to the face.  It’s ethereal and quite lovely, but it’s bound to give you a case of the frowns.  Grab your Prozac and take it to your happy place, y’all, ‘cos here we go:

was-haiku

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d best be off to the set of the video for “Laid” with my bag full of Heath bars.  I’ll be back tomorrow with “Breathe.”

As always, you can stream No Line on the Horizon on U2’s Myspace, so you can hear of which I haiku.

I Guess I’m Excited About Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark?
February 26, 2009

Apparently some people I know have me pegged as being particularly excited about this lil’ piece of news:

293spidermanbonoedgelc022409

Hrmmm, I wonder why?  Could it be because I’m a nerd, or is it that to say that I like U2 is a gross understatement.  Who knows?  Whatever the reason, the sentiment was appreciated, but also:

I already knew that!  My nerdiness is lightning-quick like that, and if you really think I’m not going to be refreshing the official Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark website multiple times daily in eager anticipation of breaking news and/or ticket sales, then you obviously don’t know me or my obsessive tendencies in the slightest.

That doesn’t mean I’m not skeptical though.

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U2 “NLOTH” Haiku Review: “Get On Your Boots”
February 25, 2009

Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3.  Whoopsies!  Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH.  Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku?  So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:

A sad day has come upon us!  I’m over halfway done with this little exercise insanity/tedium.  Before you know it, the whole album will be reviewed and there won’t be any more haikus (show some respect and try not to look so damn happy!).  Shall I stop now (please?) so we never have to face the inevitable?  No?  Fine!  Get your hankies ready because the end is now in sight:

goyb-haiku

Le sadness.  Only five more left.  Next up is “Stand Up Comedy.”

As always, you can stream No Line on the Horizon on U2’s Myspace, so you can hear of which I haiku.

U2 NLOTH Haiku Review: “I’ll Go Crazy if I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight”
February 24, 2009

Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3.  Whoopsies!  Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH.  Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku?  So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:

I don’t know if it’s the fact that I got more than four hours of sleep last night, or maybe the fact that I got to write about Showgirls earlier today (it’s probably the latter, not the former; thinking about 10 seconds of Showgirls for me is twenty minutes of kitten videos on Youtube for grandmas: it’s a happy place), but I’m in a much better mood than yesterday.  It seems as though the gay-man-equivalent of catnip (aka, Showgirls) has rendered Cranky McCrankerson docile and content.  Thaaank goodness.  

So, yeah, let’s drop this new haiku like Nomi dropped her crack addiction:

crazy-haiku

Almost halfway done!  Hot toddy!  Next up is “Get On Your Boots.”

As always, you can stream No Line on the Horizon on U2’s Myspace, so you can hear of which I haiku.

U2 NLOTH Haiku Review: “Unknown Caller”
February 23, 2009

Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3.  Whoopsies!  Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH.  Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku?  So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:

I don’t know if it’s the lack of sleep (because Oscar parties in Washington Heights when you have to still travel back home to Brooklyn will do that to you) or what, but these damn haikus are wearing me out.  Curses to my blog promise!  Ugh.  Let’s get this done with:

u-c-haiku

Whatever.  I’m clearly Blogster the Grouch right now.  Let’s all go to bed.  G’night.

Tomorrow is “I’ll Go Crazy if I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight.”

As always, you can stream No Line on the Horizon on U2’s Myspace, so you can hear of which I haiku.

U2 NLOTH Haiku Review: “Moment of Surrender”
February 23, 2009

Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3.  Whoopsies!  Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH.  Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku?  So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I’m still playing catch-up with this foolish project.  So sue me.  The Oscars were yesterday, which meant I had to spend my day making banana nut muffins and doing oodles of laundry.  Seriously, my room was mere days away from warranting hazmat suits for guests.  Don’t believe me?  This is my room:

swamp-room2

Well, minus Swamp Thing and Heather Locklear.  My room simply isn’t lucky enough to house the cast of the 80s-camp goodness that is The Return of Swamp Thing.  Then again, is any room that lucky?  No, I think not.

But I digress.

Here’s the next installment of our haiku review.  If it were 2008, I’d make some timely joke about drinking it up like a milkshake, because Daniel Day Lewis was winning at the Oscars  for There Will Be Blood.  Alas, better (a year) late than never.  So drink it up!  Drink up the haiku-shake:

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U2 NLOTH Haiku Review: “Magnificent”
February 21, 2009

Benjamin made a promise to review every track off No Line on the Horizon, one a day, leading up to the official release on March 3.  Whoopsies!  Unfortunately, he can’t write about music for a damn as he studied film; it’s all “chiming Edge guitar” this and “propulsive rhythm by Larry and Adam” that, blah blah BLECH.  Instead, he’s embraced the new-found experimentation that U2 has clearly found: why review when you can haiku?  So put on your crazy boots, ‘cos here comes the next round:

Two reviews in one day?  Isn’t this supposed to be daily?” you ask.  

“Tacky, insolent reader,” I reply, “I was too busy writing about blue genitals on Friday.  Recognize the priorities!  Today is catch-up day, and tomorrow we’ll return to our regularly scheduled program.”

“Fair is fair,” you respond.  As you should.

The new haiku review drops NOW:

magnificent-haiku

Whew!  Another down.  I think I may be getting the hang of this.  Haikus are fun (and by fun, I should say that they’re a lazy man’s review)!  Only nine more left!  We can do this!  Hold onto your haiku hats, ‘cos tomorrow gets another!

Oh, and as always, you can stream No Line on the Horizon on U2’s Myspace, so you can hear of which I haiku.

No Line on the Horizon Track-by-Track Review: “No Line on the Horizon”
February 21, 2009

So apparently the “No Line on the Horizon” I heard before was totally a b-side.  Whoopsiedaisy!  That must’ve been the “punk-y Pixies/Buzzcocks homage” version that Q Magazine mentioned some time ago.  All the better.  Anything unexpected shall always surprise.  And “No Line on the Horizon” surprises in spades.  And by surprises, I mean this song is awesomely ridiculous.  Check out U2’s Myspace page if you don’t believe me; they’re streaming that ridiculousness.

So in honor of all the ridiculousness and surprises No Line on the Horizon seems to be holding, I’ve decided to do these track-by-track reviews as haikus, because that’s also surprising and ridiculous (and I also don’t know how to properly discuss music worth a damn; I studied film, lay off me!).

So here we go, y’all:

nloth-haiku

Well that was fun (?).  And ludicrous.  And an exercise in absolute nonsense.  And there’s still 10 more to go.  Ruh-roh.  Looks like this is going to be a bumpy ride on the crazy train…

Next up: “Magnificent.”

Crimminy Crap! No Line on the Horizon Has Been Leaked!
February 18, 2009

No Line on the Horizon leaked today, y’all.  According to @U2:

For the second time this month, an online music store has started prematurely selling No Line on the Horizon. This time, the Universal Music Australia storehas made the entire album available as digital downloads, and fans all over the world are buying it up, putting it on file sharing sites, and sending it to friends. The album’s out there now; no turning back. Update: Universal Australia is no longer selling the album; it was available for about 1-2 hours.

Little did anyone know that NLOTH was also available on the Napster Mobile online store. An @U2 reader found it and bought the album on February 8th; it was available all last week, and finally removed yesterday (Feb. 16). 

I think we all know what I had to do, because I certainly lost all patience and will power about a week ago.  And, well, about all I can say right now is this:

nlothomfg

My head hurts from how many thoughts I’ve spinning around about this fabulousness.  Ever since I became a fan with the release of All That You Can’t Leave Behind (lay off me, I was a late bloomer!), I’ve longed to have the thrill of getting a U2 album that would have the same game-changing feel of excitement that Achtung Baby had for a certain generation of fans.  

Well, that moment has arrived.

Every song on No Line on the Horizon is a hands-down triumph.  Simply put: this one is a beaut.  So much sonic texture to the production!  So Much Album-As-Spectrum-Of-Human-Emotions-In-Our-Current-Moment Deliciousness!  SO MUCH AMAZING!  GAH!!!

See?  I can’t deal with it right now.  My homo-wittiness has disappeared in an ocean of fanboy hyperbole!   I’ve given it three full listens and I’m still an atomically hot mess of unadulterated school-girl giddiness.  I don’t think a frosting-scented Jon Hamm could get me this excited.  I need a cold bath (stiff drink).  I’m going to have to take a few days to properly digest this album, but you’d better believe a lengthy review is coming.  LENGTHY.  You’ve been warned.

U2 is back, bitches.  I hope you’re ready to deal with my ensuing craziness.

Thanks, @U2 for the tip.  You’ve ruined my ability to be a tolerable human being for the next year.

Stop It, U2! The Anticipation is KILLING ME!!!
February 12, 2009

NLOTH!!!

I was totally going to blog about other things this morning.  You know, like movies.  I could finally work on a movie review, right?  WRONG!  According to @U2:

RTÉ 2XM exclusively aired the title track from the new U2 album No Line on the Horizon today at noon Dublin time. They are enticing listeners to stay tuned to their station as they play more U2 today.

Whoah, doggy.  I promised myself I’d play this album straight and ignore any leaks, but this is too much.

Of course, in this day and age, a radio play guarantees an internet leak, and–as I see it–this a legitimate leak.  U2 sanctioned the radio airing, and so any recording that then appears online, while technically pirated, is harmless.  It’s not the entire album after all (good gravy I wish it was, though).  I may not have woken up to hear the official broadcast, but it’s totally my duty as a rabid, foaming-mouth U2 fan to google and google and google ’til I get some results.  Patience is not my virtue.  

Clearly.

Having listened to “No Line on the Horizon” several times already on an obsessive repeat (4 times and counting!),  well, zoinks.  Zoinks!  It’s as though they’ve fused all the most interesting sounds at various points of their career into on delicious record.  “No Line on the Horizon” is some serious delicious for an album opener.

There’s so much signature Edge with the chunky riffage and chiming guitars!  So much signature Bono with the endearingly nonsensical lyrics and soaring vocals (seriously, he hasn’t hit registers this high outside of a falsetto since “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”)!  So much signature Adam and Larry with the pulsing bass line and propulsive drumming!  So much signature U2!  SO MUCH!

I seriously need to build a time machine so it can be March 3rd already.  Hell, I’ll settle for the midnight of so I can download No Line on the Horizon off iTunes.  I’m  seriously beginning to regress to a spoiled toddler just thinking about how long I still have to wait.  A little over two weeks is like infinity in U2-anticipation years!  I’m done with waiting, U2! DONE WITH IT!  ME WANT NOW!!!

Look at What U2 Cooked Up in the Awesome Lab
February 6, 2009

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

I should have picked up a few of these before I went over to watch the new video for “Get On Your Boots.”  So much is going on in it!  I feel like I need to watch it at least 100 more times before I can really appreciate all that’s going on in it.  Oh who am I kidding?  I probably need a 1000 more times, or I should just put it on a perpetual loop to play until 2012.  Seriously, consider my mind blown.  Get on your brain protection helmets, y’all, because it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

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