We’re All Sad Affleck This Weekend
March 26, 2016

sad affleck

If you, like me, have already seen Bats v. Supes: Dawn of Just Put Me Out of My Misery Already, you’re probably feeling an awful lot like Ben Affleck seems in this GIF. He does not look like he wants to be here, literally or metaphorically, and seeing as Batman v. Superman has already grossed $200 million dollars worldwide, I’m not sure we want to either.

Anyways, while I try and put words to put words to my despondent rage stroke, here’s a really great video of Ben Affleck at the BvS: It Gets Worst press tour:

(more…)

TGIF! Now Here’s 22 Leonardo DiCaprio Performances Reenacted by His Lesbian Doppelgänger
February 26, 2016

Well, it’s the Friday before the Academy Awards, and if there’s anything more guaranteed in life right now than death or taxes, it’s Leonardo DiCaprio’s Best Actor win for The Revenant, so here’s a video of 22 Leonardo DiCaprio performances as brought to you by Leo’s lesbian doppelgänger, “Lesbo DiCaprio.”

This “stunning montage” (this video’s description’s words, not mine) is brought to you by ACTING, a lesbian who’s more butch than me (that’s not hard) but not so butch as to where I have a crush on her (that’s Ryan Atwood from The O.C.), and MORE ACTING. It’s the best costume (22 of them, in fact) to celebrate Leonardo DiCaprio’s Oscar thirst and the perfect way to segue into the weekend (with ACTING).

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to work on my Fiona Apple at the Oscars impression.

[via AfterEllen; much love to Haley for this]

Happy Presidents’ Day to Your Boyfriend, The President
February 15, 2016

Yesterday, your boyfriend was Oscar Isaac, but today’s Presidents’ Day, and this video deserves a second term on this blog, so I guess your boyfriend is the President now.

You’re such a slut, Internet.

 

You’re Not Ready for #CoplineBling
February 1, 2016

coplinebling

This past December, my roommate requested Drake’s “Hotline Bling” at my office’s holiday party, and the DJ told her he didn’t think the crowd was ready for it. He reads crowds for a living, he explained. He’s a professional. Neither of us was sure what he meant by that, but now that I think about it, I’m more than a little concerned about our #CoplineBling preparedness.

#CoplineBling is the University of Delaware campus police promotional video/parody of “Hotline Bling” that has everything, if your idea of everything includes sweet moves, sexy mascots, and a shameless thirst for the sweet and fickle nectar of internet celebrity. You’re probably ready for it, but here it is anyways:

(more…)

Teletubbies in Black and White, Set to Joy Division
March 28, 2015

I find this comforting, like a Bergman movie.

[via Mashable. Much love to Nathan for this.]

Cate Blanchett Will Not Have Your Stupid Questions, Either
March 26, 2015

cate blanchett cinderella interview

In what I can only hope becomes one of the defining trends of 2015, another incredibly talented actress gave a delightfully Done With It response to a very stupid question. This time, a journalist asked Cate Blanchett a very stupid question about cats on leashes while she was doing press for Cinderella, and Cate Blanchett was not having it at all:

(more…)

What’s Your Creative Process?
March 25, 2015

It’s important to find a creative process that works for you. What’s yours?

[b3ta by way of I Have Seen The Whole Of The Internet]

John Carpenter’s Frozen Would Be a Frozen Finally Worth Watching
March 4, 2015

frozen blood test scene john carpenter the thing

Pardon the pun, but Frozen is one of those zeitgeisty juggernauts that left me…cold. I get that everybody loved it, most notably The Gays “and” John Travolta, but not me. I won’t bother defending such a deeply unpopular opinion, either, because my excommunication papers are already being processed by an unforgiving Hell’s Kitchen queen with an Idina Menzel prayer shrine and a Tumblr blog filled with Precious Moments GIFs and Kristoff/Duke slash fiction. ANYWAYS, here’s a video by indie filmmaker and animator Lee Hardcastle. It’s a claymation mashup of Frozen characters and the blood test scene from John Carpenter’s The Thing, so there’s animated blood and NSFW language, but who cares? This is great:

(more…)

Happy Birthday, Shelley Duvall!
July 7, 2014

…IF THAT IS HER REAL NAME.

[via Café Muscato]

Q: How Does the Bear Catch Trout?
July 8, 2013

A: Like a true stunt queen, that’s how. Serve that fish, Doug. SERVE IT!

(Also, if “Got Trout?” isn’t already the name of a small town gay bar, it really really should be.)

Much love to ViralViral via Videogum.

Well, This Is a Thing: “The Stanley Steemer Variations” By Mia
December 11, 2012

Look, I’m as confused as you probably are about what this is. I mean, it’s definitely weird, but also strangely compelling and kinda, possibly fabulous? I don’t really know, you guys, but I do know “The Stanley Steemer Variations” is definitely a thing we’ve experienced together. Like a group hug with theater face. Or a shared trauma with lots of costume changes. Again, I’m not sure. Regardless, this thing–whatever it is–has happened, and it might be happening again for some us right now, but who’s to judge? We can quit whenever we want. Stanley f*cking Steemer, indeed.

Much love to Videogum for this one.

Yoko Ono Covers Katy Perry’s “Firework”, Totally Kills It
December 11, 2012

Oh man. Purrfection, y’all. A++ and all the gold stars, too. “Plastic Bag” is out. “AaaaAAAaaaAAGH” is in. Never change, Yoko Ono. Never Change.

Much love to Dlisted and Videogum for this one.

Well This Is Just the Best Cover of Katy Perry’s “Firework” Ever
October 3, 2012

No, really, we can agree right now that “Plastic Bag” is totally bonkers, and so naturally also the best. Everything from the obsessive repetition of a rather ridiculous lyric to all that Dancefloor Fierceness is marvelous, but the dress is what really makes this sublime. That dress is such glorious, arts-‘n-crafts hobo hotness that I simply can’t. Seriously, everybody can just shut it down with their Katy Perry covers, because this queen wins.

Much love to Vulture for this one.

Here’s a Drunk Man Serenading His Cat with “Kiss from a Rose”
July 5, 2012

Well, sure, okay. I suppose that’s one way to spend a Saturday night.

Much love to Julie Klausner by way of Videogum for this one.

The Theme of the Week’s Been “Eating Things,” So Here’s an Ad for Vagine Cuisine
April 5, 2012

Laaadieees, have you ever wished your muff tasted like an oral…Mex buffet? Of course you haven’t, BUT LET’S PRETEND:

Especially spicy fajita, girlfriend. And thanks to Vagine Cuisine, now your Down South can taste truly South of the Border! OLÉ!

(more…)

In Honor of Revenge’s Most Anticipated Return to TV, Here’s “Sh*t Hamptons Matriarchs Say”
April 4, 2012

When a stripper bludgeons a private dick to death with a tire iron, you know you’re in the presence of prime time soap opera perfection, so I’d say you should be watching Revenge if you aren’t already, but really, why bother? This supercut of Victoria Grayson’s best bon mots of bitchiness and gilded nuggets of Hamptons upper-crust c*ntery speaks for itself:

(more…)

In Honor of MDNA’s Release, Here’s a Really Great Music Video for Madonna’s “Girl Gone Wild”
March 28, 2012

At this point, it’s almost not even worth mentioning that Madonna’s MDNA came out earlier this week. After all, if you’re reading this, chances are either you or at least one of your friends is a friend of Dorothy, which means either you or at least one of your friends has spent the past few days sashaying up and down your Facebook News Feed with quips and comments about the new Madonna album. Simply put: WE KNOW ALREADY, QUEEN. Hell, I’d offer my own two cents, but Madonna has so much money she probably scoffs at small change like a bouquet of hydrangeas. Besides, the last album I shared my thoughts on was Christina Aguilera’s Bionic, and we all know how well that turned out.

ANYWAYS, this wouldn’t the blog it is without some sort of MDNA-related post (duh), so here’s a music video for Madonna’s latest single, “Girl Gone Wild.” It may not be the official video, but it probably should be:

(more…)

This Girl Would Like to Know Why We Have Leap Year
February 29, 2012

This girl is a veritable fountain stupid of questions and salty language, so pinkies out and headphones up!

HAHAHAHAHA, YES! Clearly the internet has given us the perfect leap year gift (a very, very gross girl with a very, very gross vlog post about the grave social injustice that is leap year), so thank you, Internet.  It’s not every day you get a reason to wish the Hunger Games were real. Apparently it’s only once ever four years!

(more…)

Princess Peach and Super Mario Bros. Parodied Lana Del Rey’s “Video Games”!
February 24, 2012

Mamma mia! It’s a YouTube video of nostalgia-fetishizing lip-plumper enthusiast Lana Del Rey’s “Video Games” in which Princess Peach yearns to get out of her not-so-super Mario marriage and give Luigi a taste of her crumb cobbler. Sure, it may not be Lana Del Rey’s “Hunger Games”, nor is it The Young Professionals’s discotheque-fabu “Video Games” cover, but this is still a rather clever, satisfyingly meta parody where Princess Peach works a pair of Lana Del Lips like she’s got a case of Lindsay Lohan’s Lady Trouty Mouth. I believe there are but two words for such a Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner gold-star worthy nerd thing:

(more…)

Awkward Kristin, the Awkward Best
February 24, 2012

Obviously this viral video is more “a little corner of the internet where the internet is very internet” than “a little corner of the internet where camp is queen.” It’s an auto-tuned cat lady freak out remix or a gangsta using his words (poorly) instead of a “tons-of-f*cking sequins” freak out remix or a suburban girl gangsta drag act using her words (poorly).  Still, this video’s an utter delight in every way, so why not post it?

Besides, do you tell a whore to stop burning while she dances? No. Do you tell a ballerina to stop scissoring with her crazy for the sake of perfection? No. Do you tell a random girl making copies to stop giving us so much Oh-f*ck! FACE when she realizes she’s on a live broadcast?

(more…)

%d bloggers like this: