Sara Carlson is the Nomi Malone of 80s Italian Variety Shows

Just watch this poetry in motion:

I recognize that, in the era of YouTube clips, what probably made sense in a particular time to a particular group of people is reintroduced to the world in a contextual vacuum.  Without meaning, these videos become a veritable playground for camp, a place where the indecipherable message is the first language of ironic detachment and surface aesthetics the currency of visual pleasure.  As such, perhaps I’m inherently biased towards this Fellini-meets-Lady-Gaga pinnacle of unadulterated, uninhibited batshit insanity.  Whatever.  

None of that changes the fact that Sara Carlson is not merely fierce; she’s full on ferocious.  Also, we can all agree that the only thing that could make this video better is if she looked like a tranny streetwalker who styled herself a member of Jem and the Holograms.  Fortunately for us, such a video exists:

Hot.  Damn.  

Never mind the fact that the 1980s where an inherently bizarre cultural moment for the entire world over.  Never mind the the fact that I’m well aware of the fact that this is Italian television, which makes it seem totally gay when in actuality it’s just European.  This is not an elaborate ruse along the lines of staging the wreckage of flight 815 on the ocean floor so as to deter people from finding Lost Island.  This is a real video made by real people who all collectively agreed together that this was a good and entertaining artistic vision.  This is something that exists, and it is utterly ridiculous.   

And, last but not least, behold Sara Carlson’s “Cowgirl Dance,” which I imagine is something like what you’d get if you sent Showgirls and Aaron Copland through a telepod together and out came the cultural equivalent of the Brundlefly:

Magical.  Sara Carlson, y’all.  This bitch burns when she dances.  The rest of us are just space heaters.

Thanks to Matt for the tip.