What’s Japanese for Train Wreck?

Yesterday, one of my co-workers sent me this e-mail:

e-mail

It should be noted that this is the co-worked who introduced us all to the dance magic that is Sara Carlson, so I immediately was optimistic.  Had he found Sara Carlson’s dance interpretation of the life of a Passion play?  Nope.  Even better.  It’s the straight-to-DVD revival of Brittany Murphy’s career.  The Ramen Girl, y’all:

Hot toddy!  Wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to just title this Japanese Cultural Fetish: The Movie?  Or Lost in Translation 2: Miso Sad ‘n Hungry?  Whatever.  This is a movie about Brittany Murphy learning to make schadenfreude soup with her tears of sadness because it’s her destiny (huh?).  Or at least that’s what the cat statue tells her (what?).  Riiiight.  

Was Brittany Murphy’s character high on something in the soup (mushrooms?  crack noodles?) that caused her to trip balls and devote her life to being a soupmonger?  Was the screenwriter high on something when they thought this was a story that needed to be told?  I’m personally betting it was weed because a movie all about ramen noodles is totally something a stoner would write.  That, or a movie all about Pillsbury Toaster Strudels.  

Whatever, I shouldn’t throw stones of bitchery because we all know what’s going to happen.  I don’t know how she does it, but Brittany Murphy sings the most irresistible siren’s song that always brings me crashing onto the jagged rocks of her bad movies.  It’ll probably be terrible, and I’ll probably hate myself for watching it, but at least I can safely say it’s not going to be as bad as Little Black Book.  Or Uptown Girls.  Really, if I can make it through the following mess, I can make it through anything:

Much thanks to Matt for the tip.

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5 Responses

  1. “No spirit.”

    Oh. So it’s that bushido stuff from Last Samurai except without swords. That’s kinda lame.

    And when I saw you say “Japanese Culture Fetish” I was expecting tentacles. Way to get my hopes up. Jerk.

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  2. Just when I thought nothing could top Uptown Girls (“Sheets of Egyptian Cotton”!!)…

    …I have to see this atrocity.

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  3. […] occurred to me was that I really need to put Brittany Murphy on Google alert.  Between this and The Ramen Girl, I’m beginning to suspect that any movie starring Brittany Murphy is a film destined bad […]

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  4. umm i’m about to netflix ramen girl along with that straight-to-dvd Lindsay Lohan film where she pretends to be preggers to keep her job…Labor Pains? These girls really know how to keep their careers going…

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  5. […] news.  Variety is reporting that Brittany Murphy has passed-away at 32.  Yes, there have been jokes here in the past about her career choice, but they came out of deep affection.  She was in two of the indisputably […]

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