The Ghost Busters (1954) Trailer Is Quite Simply Perfection
July 30, 2009

It’s pretty safe to say that the children of the 80s can all agree about Ghostbusters:

ghostbusters classic

You really can’t improve upon it.  You can, however, reimagine it as a comedy from the 1950s, which is precisely what this totally brilliant video does.  It combines the pleasures of Classic Hollywood filmmaking with 80s nostalgia, so it pretty much gets all my <3.  Trust me, you need to watch it now:

My only complaint is that this is not an actual trailer for an actual movie because I would watch that movie ad nauseam.  Still, I’ll suffer that small slight for the undescribably joy of seeing Gozer and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, circa ’54.  It doesn’t get any better than that.  At least until we get a a fake trailer for Showgirls of ’33, in which a young Joan Crawford battles with Marlene Dietrich and Barbara Stawyck for stage success and showgirl supremacy.  Make it happen, internet!  

All my love to Movieline for the discovery.

RIP, Captain EO
June 26, 2009

I debated about writing anything in regards to Michael Jackson’s untimely passing.  There are bigger fans who can better articulate how much he mattered to music and pop culture as a whole.  When you realize you’re best equipped to discuss his slow descent from King of Pop to the Grand Poobah of Eccentric Celebrity Curios–the Howard Hughes of music, if you will–you kinda realize it’s quite not your place to chime in during a time of mourning.  I mean, do you really want to look like this asshole?  Hell no.  Besides, I will always appreciate the fact that I get to share my name with his 1972 ballad devoted to a rat.  Top that, people named Jude.

Anyways, I’ll simply pay my respects with one of my favorite moments in Michael Jackson’s career:

captain-eo

That’s right, Captain EO, the 1986 sci-fi/musical 3-D short film staring Michael Jackson and Anjelica Huston (who scared the living hell out of me when I first saw it).  It’s rather ridiculous in and of itself (small wonder I love it so), but knowing that it was directed by Francis Ford Coppola and co-written by George Lucas make it pretty profoundly wonderful.  There may be greater moments to highlight in his career, but I’ll never forget my parents taking me to see Captain EO at age three when we visited Disney World.  It’s that sort of unforgettable impact that is the real testament to this man’s work.  It’s part Star Wars, an ample aesthetic splash of Ridley Scott’s Alien, and all Michael Jackson magic.  After the jump, in its YouTube entirety, I give you the 80s nostalgia-bomb that is Captain EO:

Michael Jackson, 1958-2009.  You will be missed.

Let’s All Take Another Trip Down the Rabbit Hole That is Sara Carlson’s Career
June 9, 2009

Of all the curios I’ve come across the internet since beginning this blog, the kinetic wonder that is Sara Carlson is indubitably a personal favorite.  For the camp aficionado, watching her dance is a transcendental, yet enigmatic, experience.  She moves in ways that are positively superhuman, her facial expressions are like tractor beams determined to pull you into her orbit of fabulousness, and those costumes are simply out of control.  At the same time, there’s so little information about Sara Carlson that she’s practically like the Loch Ness Monster of camp pleasure.  We have document occurrences but little substantial information to support or explain her existence.  

How did she find herself in Italy, and where did she go after her stint on Al Paradise?  What’s she been up to in the past two-and-a-half decades, and where is she now?  While many of these questions demand answers, I’m quite pleased to say that I can at least vouch for Sara Carlson’s existence.  We’ve made contact, and she walks among us!  Seriously, check it out:

sara carlson comment

And not only has she found us, but we can now find her whenever we want thanks to the wonders of MySpace.  Thanks, outdated social network of the early aughts!

Even better, though, is that her MySpace has several more videos posted, and–dare I say it?  Yes, I do dare!–they’re even more incredible than the last round.  I hope you like your paradigms shifted, because that’s what these videos will do.

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Sara Carlson is the Nomi Malone of 80s Italian Variety Shows
May 15, 2009

Just watch this poetry in motion:

I recognize that, in the era of YouTube clips, what probably made sense in a particular time to a particular group of people is reintroduced to the world in a contextual vacuum.  Without meaning, these videos become a veritable playground for camp, a place where the indecipherable message is the first language of ironic detachment and surface aesthetics the currency of visual pleasure.  As such, perhaps I’m inherently biased towards this Fellini-meets-Lady-Gaga pinnacle of unadulterated, uninhibited batshit insanity.  Whatever.  

None of that changes the fact that Sara Carlson is not merely fierce; she’s full on ferocious.  Also, we can all agree that the only thing that could make this video better is if she looked like a tranny streetwalker who styled herself a member of Jem and the Holograms.  Fortunately for us, such a video exists:

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Who Exactly is Adventureland Made For?
March 28, 2009

Every time a commercial for Adventureland comes on during Gossip Girl, I lose all self-control as I turn to my Gossip Girl viewing buddy Brynn and screechily ask, “Who is this movie made for?”  We are, of course, fast-forwarding through that nonsense thanks to the miracles of DVR, but I still want to know who precisely wants this movie?  Just look at this thing:

Yes, movie trailer, life after college is not exactly what any of us expected.  Maybe if you weren’t so focused on such a stupid idea as taking a post-graduation trip through Europe and instead focused on finding a real job like the rest of us do, you wouldn’t be in this conundrum horribly plotted movie.

I really don’t grasp how this is an actual movie that got a greenlight from the studios.  Sure, we’ve all worked crappy summer jobs with quirky coworkers, and I myself can even sympathize in working a post-graduation job in retail to fund my summer exploits before moving to New York City for grad school, but I wouldn’t say that’s a sturdy concept for a movie because nobody, myself included, would want to see that.  Whoops, I just became my dad!

The problem with Adventureland, like all movies that romanticize a summer of discovery and lessons learned before entering adulthood, is that these summers don’t in fact exist.  We wax nostalgic about these moments because they’re the final moments of womb-like security that comes with the adolescent impulse to live for the moment before we’re birthed into the often frustrating world of financial responsibility and bills and 9-to-5 work schedules and all the other joys that come with being a grown-up.  It’s a universal experience, for sure, but also one that you eventually realize is completely unrealistic once you gain a little perspective.  These movies aren’t based in any truth; they’re just an opportunity for one filmmaker to cinematically masturbate about their own refusal to grow up and immature yearning for times long past.  Let me play you a dirge on my tiny violin while you cry me a river.  Or not.

Throw in the fact that Kristen Stewart is painfully annoying with her perpetual face of disaffected youth and that this movie is set in 1987 (80s nostalgia in movies is completely a completely lazy technique for adding texture to a story unless its Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion or Grosse Pointe Blanc; those movies are great), and it’s made its way to the top of my do-not-want list.  This movie is made for nobody, but I’m sure it’ll make bank in theaters.

Woof.

(Also, as noted in the comments, I had a brain fart while initially writing this and claimed it was Kristen Scott, not Kristen Stewart, who is in Adventureland.  The correction has been made, and I obviously need a fact checker.)

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