As It’s So Camp, a Few Thoughts Regarding Lady Gaga’s David Bowie Tribute at the Grammys
February 16, 2016

lady gaga david bowie tribute grammys

In case you were under a rock or watching the Westminster Dog Show, the Grammys were on last night, and Lady Gaga took the stage to perform a David Bowie tribute. As a David Bowie tribute, it was…okay, I guess? But as a Vegas-ready tribute to incidental robot piano rigs, a lack of self-editing, and also David Bowie, it was something else! (That something else is ridiculous.)

I mean, seriously, let’s take another look:

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Scant Thoughts on Super Bowl 50
February 8, 2016

id4 resurgence super bowl football stadium

As the French would say, je ne suis pas sportif, but if I’ve got two things going for me, it’s a thirst for pop culture and a fear of missing out, so here are a few scant thoughts regarding FootBowl 50: Still a Thing!

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TGIF! Now Here’s Jessica Lange’s Perfect Response to Lady Gaga Joining American Horror Story
March 20, 2015

The internet has momentarily clutched its pearls and lost its damn mind over over whatever this means, and oh dear god, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!? Well, whatever it means, it’s perfect.

The consensus seems to be that Jessica Lange shaded Lady Gaga over her joining the cast of American Horror Story: Hotel, so shots fired, queens! And sure, while that’s entirely possible, I think we should all be asking what kind of dumb question is “Does Gaga convince you [Jessica Lange] to stay for another season?” Seriously, what does that mean? Jessica Lange is Jessica F***ing Lange, and she does as she pleases, no questions asked!

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Wake Me When It’s Over: An Irresponsible Oscar Postscript
February 23, 2015

joan crawford oscars 1946

I’m not sure there’s anything to be said about last night’s Oscars that can’t be said by this picture of Joan Crawford asleep with her Oscar, which is to say: Zzzz.

It wasn’t that the Oscars were terrible. Patricia Arquette won, and she spoke about how to make the world a more just place. Julianne Moore won, and the world became a more just place. Neil Patrick Harris dutifully tried to keep some awfully regrettable material afloat. At least it wasn’t James Franco, part don’t. Lady Gaga’s Sound of Music melody was really great, even if it wasn’t performed in a bratwurst dirndl. And then there was John Travolta, who was killing it last nightpossibly literally. Seriously, if John Travolta asks you to help him move some furniture into a van, just tell him you’ve got a hunky masseuse appointment to attend and run, girl, run! He’ll totally understand.

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Comic-Con Cosplayers Lip-Dub Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way”
July 26, 2011

Nerds! Cosplay [including Sucker Punch(?!?)]! Lady Gaga! Lip-dubbing for your life that would have RuPaul telling you to sashay away! These guys and gals were born this way (terribly nerdy and possibly with too much time on their hands?), and this video was indubitably born for this blog, so carry on, my brethren! Or, as the interwebs might decree: Ur doin it right.

Much love to Buzzfeed for this one.

Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” Featuring Nigel Thornberry
June 27, 2011

I’ve learned in my old age (27, which in gay years is OLD) to not really question the internet. Much like that U2 song (*TERRIBLE PUN ALERT!*), she moves in mysterious ways (oof, so sorry!). In this particular case, that means smashing up Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” (a thing that I love) with a short soundbite of Nigel Thornberry from Nickelodeon’s The Wild Thornberrys (a thing that I watched in my youth, aka, when I was not OLD). It is very internet, which is to say a strange amalgamation of the contemporary and the nostalgic. And also curiously–perhaps even dadaistically, if you will–wonderful:

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Here’s Christine Pedi Doing Liza Minnelli and Carol Channing Doing Lady Gaga’s “Telephone”
July 9, 2010

Naturally, it’s fabulous, so of course you should watch it:

I must admit, however, that as I was watching this shimmering, rainbow-scaled ouroboros of unmitigated homosexuality, a series of thoughts did my mind:

  1. This is indubitably one the gayest things I’ve ever seen, but debatably THE gayest thing, so He-Man can take his fabulous secret powers and sit back down.  For now.
  2. The Snickers bar, as we all know, is an excellent touch.
  3. Also, now I’m in the mood for a Snickers.
  4. And a martini.
  5. Oh, and while we’re at it, raspberries as well.
  6. Come to think of it, I should probably hit up the grocery store after work.  Oops, digression!
  7. Anybody in the mood for a round of Movie Critic?
  8. I wonder if the Big Gay Ice Cream Truck’s ice cream come in d*ck flavor, and if so, what would that taste like?  Sausage and Old Spice, perhaps?
  9. But most importantly:

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Here Is a Video of an Old Man WORKING IT to Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”
June 28, 2010

Sure, it might not be country hip hop dancing, but hot damn are this man’s dance moves some sort of national treasure.  WORK IT, Pop-Pop!

Much love to Videogum for this one.

Facebook Recommends Justin Bieber
June 19, 2010

WHAT?!?  Because being Lady Gaga and looking like a lesbian moppet are both homo things?  Ew, Facebook.  No.

(Unless–of course–it’s this, in which case: I LOVE IT.)

Katy Perry Has a Refined Sense of Humor
June 16, 2010

Remember that one time Katy Perry tweeted this?

And how it was most likely in response to a certain someone’s “shocking” (it was not shocking) latest video?  No?  Because you, like me, try and avoid Katy Perry like a plague

Anyways, the music video for Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” arrived on the interwebs yesterday, and though it may have already been yanked, its brief appearance has already left us a single GIF to remind us what a not-a-fart joke looks like (and be sure to click the image and see this mess in motion):

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Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro” Has Finally Given the Interwebs a Serious Case of Géjà Vu
June 14, 2010

Oh, “Alejandro”…your music video may have left me underwhelmed, but you’re still such a fabulous song, much like this ridicufabulous dead-bird hat on top of Lady Gaga’s head:

I mean, what is going on here?  Why is Norman Bates’s back-office parlor decor sitting on her head?  Wait a tic, it’s Lady Gaga, so why am I asking stupid questions when I already know the batshit answers?  Whatever.

Anyways, the interwebs have gone and done mashed-up Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro” with Ace of Base’s “Don’t Turn Around,” which is basically like a 6-minute layer cake of dance pop fabulousness and 90s pop nostalgia:

On one hand, this mash-up is easily the best produced “Alejandro”/”Don’t Turn Around” mash-up I’ve come across (the MP3 can be downloadable here, just in case you’re as crazily obsessed as I am), so I applaud it for going viral.  On the other hand, however, didn’t we already establish this like well over six months ago, and we’re only getting this mash-up just now?  Damn, interwebs, you’re acting a little tired:

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Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner’s Official Response to Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro”
June 8, 2010

Action:

Reaction: Ermm, neat?

Don’t get me wrong: on a purely aesthetic level, “Alejandro” is a slick–if chilly–experience.  Sure, previous videos have been more unabashed efforts in batshit insanity and/or delirious camp (two qualities I’ve long adored in Lady Gaga’s oeuvre), but I suppose some sort of restraint in those arenas is the price of artistic growth, so brava!  I guess?

Added to that, I’m sure there’s a way interpret “Alejandro” as nearly nine minutes of back-up dancers in various states of fascist-themed fetish gear, Lady Gaga in various states of Catholicism-inspired dress/undress, machine gun bras, pageboy haircuts, and overtly gay imagery (you can’t call it homoerotic when it’s anything but subtle, Shot of Push-Ups That Look “Conspicuously” Like Butt Sex) that coalesce into some sort of treatise on Foucauldian power structures and queer revolution; unfortunately for me, I’ve recently been gorging on far too much pop culture garbage to fit into my size-28 pretentious pants and try waaay too hard to convince myself I’m anything other than strangely underwhelmed by “Alejandro.”  It’s entirely serviceable, possibly even genius, but by no means blowing my mind.

And besides:

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“Not Myself Tonight” Is the New Gold Standard of Batslut Insanity
April 30, 2010

I think it’s important to contextualize the new music video for Christina Aguilera’s “Not Myself Tonight” with a couple things: firstly, unless you work in a sex shop that specializes in high-end leather wear and bedazzled gag balls or an office with an HR staff that doesn’t consider getting your Nomi Malone on and mercilessly humping EVERYTHING inappropriate workplace conduct (so basically you work at the Cheetah), then yes, “Not Myself Tonight” might in fact be considered Not Safe For Work.  More importantly, though, I’m pretty sure that Sarah Michelle Gellar’s Christina Aguilera impersonation is going to be so miffed that the real Xtina finally got around to doing a cover of Lil’ Kim’s “C*m-Guzzling F*ck Whore”:

Oh lordy, Christina, that was most certainly skanky enough.  Bonkers, too, which can only mean that we need to talk about this thing, so let’s all put some aloe vera on our Christina burns and talk about this thing after the jump.

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The Official Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner Response to Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” ft. Beyoncé
March 12, 2010

Preaction:

Action:

Reaction:

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Lil’ Lady Gaga Is Precocious. And Proof That Brazil Is Bonkers
March 3, 2010

Desperate times call for desperate measures, which–in the case of still not having the music video for Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” in our lives–apparently means posting a video of an 8-year-old working it like Lady Gaga on the Brazilian version of Britain’s Got Talent,Qual é o seu Talento?:

Ermm, I hope that Lil’ Lady Gaga’s got proportional dwarfism and is actually a 33-year-old Russian prostitute with a penchant for not wearing pants; otherwise, Brazil’s got some ‘splainin’ to do.

I mean, it’s vaguely uncomfortable how much the audience is enjoying this performance.  Particularly Brazilian Kenny Rogers:

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This Comes as No Surprise, But Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” Will Be Bonkers
February 17, 2010

Well it seems as though some pics from the video for Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” have found there way onto the internet yesterday.  They’re crazy (duh), and we need to discuss them (double duh).

For example, there’s the hat that blends cubism, post-humanism, and a rotary phone found at a Dadaist’s stoop sale:

If I tried to make this hat myself, I’d probably burn down the Haus of Gaga with a hot glue gun.  This is why my preferred form of camping involves quoting Joan Crawford movies instead of arts and crafts.  Also, I find it strangely comforting to know that fabulously ridiculous hats are to Lady Gaga as Penny is to Desmond on Lost.  You know, constants.

And while we’re at it, shall we talk about the part where Lady Gaga throws an all-American dance-off?  Yes, let’s:

Sure, I don’t like risking nosebleeds from asking probing existential questions like “What’s the meaning of life?” or “Why is Lady Gaga dressed like she’s heading to a redneck BBQ?”, but hot damn do I hope it has something to do with this movie:

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TGIF! Now Here’s the New Video for Lady Gaga’s “Telephone”
February 5, 2010

Obviously, this video is perfection.  Particularly the part when their outfits at the end of the video at various points remind me of Cyclops and Phoenix from X-Men and Katana from Mortal Kombat II, but I’m a nerd like that.

Oh, and as Lady Gaga would say: God bless the gays.

Much love to Queerty for this one.

It’s Official: Adam Lambert and Lady Gaga MUST Join Forces
November 23, 2009

I didn’t watch the American Music Awards last night because I’ve better things to do with my time, which may or may not mean whipping up an epic amount of cheese grits and an entire box of Brown ‘N Serve sausage:

That’s for me to know and you to endlessly ponder.

Anyways, apparently I’m going to have to make more of an effort to tune in to these third-tier music awards programs because the clips I’ve seen from last night’s American Music Awards are all sorts of ridamndonkulousness.  In some instances, such as Lady Gaga’s performance, I don’t really find this particularly shocking:

While I’m always delighted to see what Lady Gaga will do next, I’ve long ago accepted that it will indubitably be completely batshit insane.  As a result, I can’t say fashioning light-up tubing into something resembling the exoskeleton of the creature from Alien is her most mind-blowing achievement.  Personal preference dictates I stick with either The World’s Gayest Homage to The Warriors or this little head exploder, but I’ve gotta give her points for outfitting a violin player in pig play gear.  I really don’t know what to do with that, so snaps for the nightmare fodder.  Lady Gaga is clearly dedicated to this whole Monster thing, but not nearly as dedicated as Adam Lambert is to becoming my favorite person on Earth:

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Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro” Gives Me a Serious Case of Géjà Vu, Part Deux
November 20, 2009

Oh girl, I know two posts about a single Lady Gaga song in less than 24 hours might define excessive, but I just can’t.  Stop.  LISTENING:

So color me predictable when I tell you I’ve been doing a lot of deep thinking about this whole “Alejandro”-sounds-like-Ace-of-Base situation because it’s an important situation (the most important!) that demands plenty of contemplation.  And because I’m in serious need of a more productive hobby, like knitting.  Or human organ trafficking .  Whatever.  Tomato, Clamato, moving right along.

Anyways, I’ve come to the realization that “Alejandro” doesn’t just remind me of “Don’t Turn Around.”  No no.  It’s also reminiscent of Ace of Base’s own anthem to stone-cold bitchfacedness:

See what I’m talking about?  It’s uncanny how reminiscent “Alejandro” is of “Don’t Turn Around.”  This is, of course, a very good thing, but I’m nevertheless starting to suspect that “Alejandro” is the Brundlefly-esque merging of Lady Gaga’s camp/pop sensibilities a cassette tape of Ace of Base’s The Sign:

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Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro” Gives Me a Serious Case of Géjà Vu
November 19, 2009

Even though it’s not coming out ’til the 23rd, that hasn’t stopped Lady Gaga’s The Fame Monster from spilling forth onto the ever impatient interwebs, and let’s all just be honest with ourselves, y’all:

Sure, it’s only 8 songs long, and it’s like Gaga’s gone and reinvented the discostick, but The Fame Monster has some really great songs that definitely earn it a “BUY” come next Tuesday.  Songs, for example, like “Alejandro,” which is the Lady’s catchy dance anthem ode to tossing Latin lovers aside like they’re used tissues at a sperm bank:

I mean, sooo good, but I can’t help but feel like there’s a glitch in the homo matrix because I feel like I’ve heard this song.  Oh, wait, I have:

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