TGIF! Now Here’s the New Video for Lady Gaga’s “Telephone”
February 5, 2010

Obviously, this video is perfection.  Particularly the part when their outfits at the end of the video at various points remind me of Cyclops and Phoenix from X-Men and Katana from Mortal Kombat II, but I’m a nerd like that.

Oh, and as Lady Gaga would say: God bless the gays.

Much love to Queerty for this one.

Benjamin’s Hard Hitting Questions: Which X-Man Would You Be?
July 16, 2009

Well, it seems that the nerd dams have burst ever since I’ve let Shmathan and Sharker contribute to the blog, but you won’t find me complaining.  Frankly, when there’s a party, I’m always inclined to join.  And, to be frank, nerd parties are something of which I know all too well.

In my youth, I could frequently be found pouring over comic books in my bedroom like a nerd boy in heat.  My tastes, admittedly, always ran a little queer: Obvious titles in the Marvel canon were always overtook by the more random and obscure ends of the Marvel universe.  I cut my comic book teeth on the parody series What The–?!Sleepwalker was my favorite title, and I gravitated to Generation X and the inspired artistry of Chris Bachalo over any other X spinoff.   These things happen.

Nevertheless, these colors don’t run and blahblahblah, so I’d be lying by omission if I didn’t admit to being a Marvel nerd.  Always have, and always will.  That was my closet, and here is my exit:

marvel.jpg

Trust me, the pink-letter editorialization merely obscures the beauty.  Enjoy, and let’s move on.

Anyways, all (nerd) things considered, this brings us to the real and most important question to ever be blogged: WHICH X-MAN WOULD YOU BE?  It’s deceptively simple to ask, but terribly complicated to answer.

For example, if you were Cyclops, you could accessorize in the most fabulous of ways:

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Not Even a Pound of Cheese Will Convince Me to See X-Men Origins: Wolverine
April 29, 2009

Have you heard of Papa John’s Pizza’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine promotional tie-in pizza, the XL X-treme Cheese Pizza?  It’s an extra-large pizza that purports to have nearly a pound of cheese on it.  It’s a cheesy monstrosity of instant obesisity.  It’s also completely delicious.  Just take a look at it and try not to slobber in Pavlovian glee:

pj-xlxtreme1

There’s just one problem with this pizza though, and that’s that it serves as a promotional tool for X-Men Origins: Wolverine.  I mean, movie trailers are not form of promotion; and, judging by the trailer, this movie doesn’t deserve a pizza of such uninhibited, greasy deliciousness:

I’ll admit that a part of me is inherently disinterested because I’m still incredibly bitter for what Fox and Marvel did to the X-Men franchise to Brett Ratner and let him make the embarrassment that is X-Men: The Last Stand.  Seriously, we aren’t going to talk about it because I don’t want to head home being ragey.  It’ll give me a terrible eye twitch while riding the subway home, and that’s no good for anyone.  

Mostly, though, this movie just looks bad.  The special effects are incredibly cheap looking, and the whole movie just seems to aesthetically remind me of a moderately budgeted made-for-TV movie.  Add in the fact that, beyond Hugh Jackman’s good looks, Wolverine does nothing for me as a character, and you’ve just put this movie on the Do Not Want List, Fox.  Guess you shouldn’t have gotten rid of Phoenix Effect, assholes.

The one redeeming factor to this movie is that all this promotional material coming from Papa John’s has confirmed something I’ve long suspected:

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