Back when I was in school, I decided one summer’s day that canvas messenger bags were so out and that fun, fetching, personalized canvas totes were totally in, but where would I ever find inspiration for a bag that would say everything about me? And then it hit me! The most obvious choice! Rachel Dratch as Elizabeth Taylor on 30 Rock:
So I went and got myself the finest of materials (a lime green canvas tote from the Strand book store, leftover pink iron-on letters from a previous attempt at making t-shirts, super glue, and the cheapest rhinestones money can buy) and set out to work. When I was finally finished, I christened my work of art
s and crafts White Diamonds. Because that’s what she read.
In my mind, she didn’t just say, “Here is a queen whose beard is fooling nobody and loves Elizabeth Taylor.” No no, she declared, “Here is is a queen whose beard refuses to fool anybody, loves Elizabeth Taylor, and also adores obscure 30 Rock references!” Alas, the best I ever got was a single guy on the subway some years later who asked, “I’m sorry, is it just me, but is that a reference to Elizabeth Taylor?” A minor success, for sure, but then I had to explain the process of inspiration. That’ll kill a conversation quicker than Mama Cass reaching for a ham sandwich.
Much like our dearly missed Dame Taylor, though, the years of toil have taken their toll (though you’d be impressed what a canvas tote can withstand!), and White Diamonds is no longer with us, but she also shan’t be forgotten. By me. ‘Cos I’ll put her in a frame and claim it’s Dada.
ANYWAYS, it’s with great pleasure that I can now share this lightbulb moment I’d been all but convinced the world (aka, YouTube) had neglected or forgotten. Ladies and gentlemen, lezzies and ladybois, Rachel Dratch as Elizabeth Taylor in 30 Rock: