This Is a Thing: Amanda Byne’s Totally Bonkers Drake Tweet
March 22, 2013

amanda bynes drake murder my vagina tweet

Ummm…should we be worried for Amanda Bynes? More importantly, should we be worried for her vagina? I don’t know. Sure, this is by no means the most immaculate f*ck tweet ever tweeted, but then again…

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In Honor of Courtney Stodden’s Birthday: Courtney Stodden Tweets Read by a Drag Queen!
August 29, 2012

Seeing as it’s Courtney Stodden’s “18th” birthday today, you’d probably think the day simply can’t get any better. She’s no longer a child bride AND she’ll continue to serve 16-going-on-37 glamazon realness. See? Dreams really do come true, y’all! (Your dreams are made of the hungry scent of internet celebrity and a bathtub of fake tanner, I guess.)

Anyways, in honor of this special occasion, here are two videos of a beatnik drag queen by the name of Janvier doing interpretive readings of Ms. Stodden’s sensual tweets, which really highlight her sensual grasp of the English language:

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Gwyneth Paltrow’s Perfect Tweet
July 29, 2011

And with that, Gwyneth Paltrow won all the gold stars.

All my love (and gold stars) to @GwynethPaltrow by way of The Awl and Movieline.

Katy Perry Has a Refined Sense of Humor
June 16, 2010

Remember that one time Katy Perry tweeted this?

And how it was most likely in response to a certain someone’s “shocking” (it was not shocking) latest video?  No?  Because you, like me, try and avoid Katy Perry like a plague

Anyways, the music video for Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” arrived on the interwebs yesterday, and though it may have already been yanked, its brief appearance has already left us a single GIF to remind us what a not-a-fart joke looks like (and be sure to click the image and see this mess in motion):

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And Now Fred Phelps Hates Sesame Street
June 14, 2010

From Sesame Street‘s Twitter comes this very important observation from Bert:

Well, if I hadn’t had my suspicions about Sesame Street‘s homosexual agenda before, I’d certainly be raising a well-manicured eyebrow now.  So really, it’s only a matter of time before the Westboro Baptist Church is boycotting Sesame Street, which is acceptable as an act of absurdity, but only if there’s video of some crazy accusing Elmo of being a spicy British meatball.

Much love to Dlisted, who picked up on this from BuzzFeed.

Twittering is Now Officially an Art
June 22, 2009

Or is it tweeting?  Je ne sais pas.  Whatever.  I may be Twitter-illiterate and prone to using the damn thing every once and a blue moon when I remember that I’ve actually got an account, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the way it’s changing the way we interact.  I mean, if Time says so, it must be true!

Anyways, I was more than delighted to find that I got a new follower over the weekend, and this girl means business:

twitter spam

Ruh-roh!  Looks like we need to get Pussy Control on the line ‘cos this lil’ snatch on the prowl!

I’ve little doubt in my mind that the above hyperlink is for porn and/or a virus.  I don’t need to click it to prove my point because I don’t need my screen exploding with boobs at work.  Besides, while I may not be their target audience in terms of bringing my lusty eyes, I’ve got Showgirls and Powder Blue, so I can always boob myself to oblivion from the comfort of my own home.  Really, there’s no need, but there is a need to commend this piece of porn spam.  

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