At Last! My Hopes for a New Nightmare on Elm Street Remake Trailer Have Been Answered. Sorta
February 23, 2010

Out of respect to the small yet loyal blog audience that regularly indulges my crazy, I’ve avoided incessantly rants about my increasingly impatient yearning for a new trailer for the remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street.  Why?  Because even I’m aware of how much that would start to drag ass.  

That said, ever since the teaser trailer showed up last fall and made me change my mind about this whole affair, I’ve been hungry for more, and now we’re two months from its release without any news of another trailer in sight, which means I’ve been a hot second away from turning tricks on the street corner for even a little Nightmare on Elm Street remake somethin’ somethin’.

Fortunately for my sense of dignity and everyone else’s eyes, ComingSoon.net has a quick fix in the form of a new teaser poster:

nightmare on elm street remake teaser poster 2

Sure, this is basically the first teaser poster except now it’s all about Face whereas before it was about Glove, but you know what?  I’ll take it.  Desperate times call for desperate measures, y’all.  Particularly when fishnets and hooker heels really aren’t your best look.  

Oh, and while we’re at it, ShockTillYouDrop.com has gathered some new promo stills from over at MovieGod.de.  Let’s go take a peek and see what we can figure out:

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A Guide to the Red-Band Jennifer’s Body Trailer For People That Don’t Care About Megan Fox’s Boobs
July 7, 2009

Have you seen the red-band trailer for Jennifer’s Body, which sells us Diablo Cody’s teen horror film by emphasizing the cursing and Megan Fox’s boobs?  Oh, and Megan Fox being teasingly “bisexual”?  Maybe it’s me, I can’t help but think Showgirls did the boobs and bisexuality so much better and with so much less Megan Fox.  Fortunately, I think the rest of us (and by rest of us, I mean people lacking an interest in Megan Fox and/or her boobs) still have plenty to be excited about.

For starters, there’s Amanda Seyfried:

amanda seyfried mean girls best

And she’s been the best since her scene-stealing turn in Mean Girls, and it’s simply a matter of time before she finally blows up.  She infinitely appealing and incredibly versatile (I believe her dumb blond every bit as much as her high school outcast), and this could be the breakthrough she deserves.  After all, Jamie Lee Curtis–the original Final Girl–made it big with Halloween.  For those of us who appreciate women or character and substance, she’s the Jennifer’s Body (Final) girl to watch.

And what about a generation’s nostalgia for a certain West-Coast based teen soap?  Jennifer’s Body has got the goods IN SPADES:

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If You Haven’t Already Seen Drag Me to Hell, You Must Change That IMMEDIATELY
June 30, 2009

This past weekend, when I wasn’t screeching like an enthusiastic howler monkey at the passing drag queens in the Pride Parade, I managed to finally get my ass into the city and I finally caught Drag Me to Hell.  Needless to say, I loved it.  In fact, quite frankly (bad pun alert CODE RED!):

drag me to hell

I mean, I could be biased, and by “biased” I mean “completely lacking in taste, good judgment, and (quite possibly) sanity.”  After all, I did find Spider-Man 3 curiously entertaining in a campy, train wreck sort of way; so much so, in fact, that I saw it three times opening weekend. Then I bought the DVD.  My only rationale is that I find the musical numbers fascinatingly out of place with the rest of the film.  That, and I wrote the handbook on making good choices.

My point is that Sam Raimi, even in his missteps, displays an incredible understanding of genre and how to manipulate it and push it to the brink of shlock and camp without it becoming something eye-rollingly ridiculous (in the not-fun way).  He’s capable of taking genre filmmaking seriously without making it laborious; his direction always has levity to it, and Drag Me to Hell is by no means an exception.  

The plot is simple enough: Alison Lohman plays Christine Brown, a well-meaning loan officer determined to leave her small-town past by climbing up the ladder at her bank.  In a bid for the open assistant manager position, she refuses to grant a mortgage extension to a sickly old gypsy (Lorma Raver), gets cursed by said gypsy, and spends the rest of movie being tormented by a goat demon (yes, a goat demon) that will in three days time drag her to hell.  Gross-out gags, tons of scares, and darkly comic humor with the perfect touch of B-movie camp abound.  You can’t necessarily argue that Sam Raimi’s aiming for art with Drag Me to Hell, but it’s impossible to deny that he’s made an incredibly smart and rather merciless thrill ride.  

The scares, while mostly of the easy boo! variety, are at least genuinely earned by the way Raimi builds a mood of dread and suspense, and the ending is simply jaw-dropping perfection.  The second the film cut to the closing credits, I blurted out, “Holy shit!” like I’d just gotten a rather nasty case of verbal/real diarrhea.  It’s just that exceptional in execution.  Drag Me to Hell is, as was advertised in the trailer, a return to true horror.  Oh, and best of all?  Raimi’s created a wonderfully rich and intriguing Final Girl with Christine.  

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