Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro” Has Finally Given the Interwebs a Serious Case of Géjà Vu
June 14, 2010

Oh, “Alejandro”…your music video may have left me underwhelmed, but you’re still such a fabulous song, much like this ridicufabulous dead-bird hat on top of Lady Gaga’s head:

I mean, what is going on here?  Why is Norman Bates’s back-office parlor decor sitting on her head?  Wait a tic, it’s Lady Gaga, so why am I asking stupid questions when I already know the batshit answers?  Whatever.

Anyways, the interwebs have gone and done mashed-up Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro” with Ace of Base’s “Don’t Turn Around,” which is basically like a 6-minute layer cake of dance pop fabulousness and 90s pop nostalgia:

On one hand, this mash-up is easily the best produced “Alejandro”/”Don’t Turn Around” mash-up I’ve come across (the MP3 can be downloadable here, just in case you’re as crazily obsessed as I am), so I applaud it for going viral.  On the other hand, however, didn’t we already establish this like well over six months ago, and we’re only getting this mash-up just now?  Damn, interwebs, you’re acting a little tired:

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Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner’s Official Response to Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro”
June 8, 2010

Action:

Reaction: Ermm, neat?

Don’t get me wrong: on a purely aesthetic level, “Alejandro” is a slick–if chilly–experience.  Sure, previous videos have been more unabashed efforts in batshit insanity and/or delirious camp (two qualities I’ve long adored in Lady Gaga’s oeuvre), but I suppose some sort of restraint in those arenas is the price of artistic growth, so brava!  I guess?

Added to that, I’m sure there’s a way interpret “Alejandro” as nearly nine minutes of back-up dancers in various states of fascist-themed fetish gear, Lady Gaga in various states of Catholicism-inspired dress/undress, machine gun bras, pageboy haircuts, and overtly gay imagery (you can’t call it homoerotic when it’s anything but subtle, Shot of Push-Ups That Look “Conspicuously” Like Butt Sex) that coalesce into some sort of treatise on Foucauldian power structures and queer revolution; unfortunately for me, I’ve recently been gorging on far too much pop culture garbage to fit into my size-28 pretentious pants and try waaay too hard to convince myself I’m anything other than strangely underwhelmed by “Alejandro.”  It’s entirely serviceable, possibly even genius, but by no means blowing my mind.

And besides:

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The Official Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner Response to Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” ft. Beyoncé
March 12, 2010

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Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro” Gives Me a Serious Case of Géjà Vu, Part Deux
November 20, 2009

Oh girl, I know two posts about a single Lady Gaga song in less than 24 hours might define excessive, but I just can’t.  Stop.  LISTENING:

So color me predictable when I tell you I’ve been doing a lot of deep thinking about this whole “Alejandro”-sounds-like-Ace-of-Base situation because it’s an important situation (the most important!) that demands plenty of contemplation.  And because I’m in serious need of a more productive hobby, like knitting.  Or human organ trafficking .  Whatever.  Tomato, Clamato, moving right along.

Anyways, I’ve come to the realization that “Alejandro” doesn’t just remind me of “Don’t Turn Around.”  No no.  It’s also reminiscent of Ace of Base’s own anthem to stone-cold bitchfacedness:

See what I’m talking about?  It’s uncanny how reminiscent “Alejandro” is of “Don’t Turn Around.”  This is, of course, a very good thing, but I’m nevertheless starting to suspect that “Alejandro” is the Brundlefly-esque merging of Lady Gaga’s camp/pop sensibilities a cassette tape of Ace of Base’s The Sign:

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Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro” Gives Me a Serious Case of Géjà Vu
November 19, 2009

Even though it’s not coming out ’til the 23rd, that hasn’t stopped Lady Gaga’s The Fame Monster from spilling forth onto the ever impatient interwebs, and let’s all just be honest with ourselves, y’all:

Sure, it’s only 8 songs long, and it’s like Gaga’s gone and reinvented the discostick, but The Fame Monster has some really great songs that definitely earn it a “BUY” come next Tuesday.  Songs, for example, like “Alejandro,” which is the Lady’s catchy dance anthem ode to tossing Latin lovers aside like they’re used tissues at a sperm bank:

I mean, sooo good, but I can’t help but feel like there’s a glitch in the homo matrix because I feel like I’ve heard this song.  Oh, wait, I have:

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The Official Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner Response to Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance”
November 11, 2009

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