I’m Concerned About This Search Engine Term, You Guys
March 2, 2015

search terms

Sure, I’m always interested to see what drives traffic to this little corner of the internet, and I don’t mean to be a mom about anybody’s internet privileges, but I’m concerned about this search engine term, you guys. Feeling blue-curious about Dr. Manhattan’s atomic todger? Fine. Desperate to find a mediocre song in a manipulative movie trailer? Okay! But “im nobodys back up plan” (sic)? Please stop surfing the internet and hide the sharp objects, because yikes!

Are you looking for answers because you’re worried you’re not the backup plan…for anybody…and you found your way here? Were you hunting for fodder for your single-and-“loving”-it Pinterest board, but you still ended up at this post, because abs, maybe? Or perhaps this picture:


TGIF! Now Let’s All Go Make Plans to See The Back-Up Plan
April 23, 2010

Movieline asks if this image of Jennifer Lopez recreating nearly every day of my life stuffing…something…into her mouth is the new greatest movie publicity still ever:

What an absurd question, Movieline.  That answer is self-evident, as self-evident as the accompanying video clip is most obviously fantasy porn for neurotic single women of a certain age, frustrated housewives, and me:


I’m Not Going to Even Bother Pretending Like I’m Not Excited for The Back-Up Plan
December 22, 2009

While I was at the movies this past weekend, I saw a poster for the upcoming romantic comedy The Back-Up Plan:

It was confusing because I haven’t associated Jennifer Lopez with shitty romantic comedies–let alone acting–in ages, but I digress.  My point is that I could tell just by the poster that this has “generic rom-com train wreck” written all over it, but sticking J. Lo and Alex O’Laughlin in a movie that amounts to Knocked Up‘s prettier but frighteningly dull cousin inexplicably sounds catnip to me. I blame it on Alex O’Laughlin, who is so pretty that even J. Lo’s hand can’t obscure his prettiness, and her hand damn well giving it a go.  I mean, seriously, what the hell is her hand doing in that poster?  Is she trying to cover his face so she can be the prettiest part of The Back-Up Plan poster?  Is this how they do the Vulcan mind meld in the Bronx?  Sorry, I got sidetracked.  


ANYWAYS, point being is that there’s a trailer for The Back-Up plan, and it’s all the LOLZ and romance of this poster at 24-frames-per-second:


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