A Few Reasons I Probably Shouldn’t Discuss Remember Me
March 2, 2010

So I’ve been asked to spend a few words on this:

I might as well have been asked to give an introductory lecture on the films of John Wayne or an instructional course on finding the G-Spot.  There really are too many reasons to count as to why I should take a pass on this one, but popular demand (aka, a single request posted on my Facebook wall) is popular demand, so I decided the best way to talk about Remember Me is to actually talk about why I shouldn’t talk about Remember Me.  Now let’s get meta and do this thing.

Reason One: Inevitable Teen Girl Squad Backlash

If the first year of Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner has taught me anything, it’s that you do NOT challenge the tastes of teenage girls with internet connections.  They will metaphorically shank you with their hastily composed comments, and each misspelled word and basic grammatical error will sting worse than a thousand paper cuts from thoroughly dog-eared copy of Breaking Dawn.  Believe me.  I know.

Anyways, for that reason alone I know that I shouldn’t contribute my two cents on Remember Me, or any Robert Pattinson movie for that matter.  No matter the movie,  it will only end in bad things (burning my effigy in a chaotic orgy of hormone-addled bloodlust?).  Particularly if I were to started flapping my trap about that one where he played a gay Salvadore Dali (burning me at the stake in a chaotic orgy of hormone-addled bloodlust).  Like I said, I know I shouldn’t, but that’s obviously not stopping me.

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Thank You, John Hughes
August 7, 2009

I’m pretty much at a loss for words about yesterday’s sad news.  John Hughes left a long and memorable imprint on popular cinema in a way that few filmmakers ever have or will, and his passing is a reminder of that indelible mark; nevertheless, because we all remember his movies and how they matter to us in very different ways, it seems foolish to wax nostalgic about his body of work so broadly.  Yes, John Hughes made movies that were broad in their appeal, but they were smart and sincere and–like any great piece of pop culture–capable of making you feel like they spoke straight to your own experience.  As such, I feel it apropos to share a few personal reflections on his work, and I encourage you to do the same in the comments.

My first significant experience with John Hughes as ’80s teen movie master was the sci-fi/teen-comedy masterpiece Weird Science.  I saw it in the mid ’90s, back when USA ran the comedy series of the same name and premise.  Most of the film’s humor indubitably went over my head, but even then I could appreciate Kelly LeBrock’s bawdy fierceness as she asks the lingerie saleswoman for something in barbed wire, and sweet mercy will I always love the Oingo Boingo theme song:

When you think about it, it was only natural for me to love a movie that’s essentially about two teenage boys who recreate The Bride of Frankenstein and end up creating the ultimate British dream fag hag.  Whoops, I mean girlfriend.

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