Jersey Shore Deep Thoughts: On Fried Pickles
July 30, 2010

In last night’s second season premiere of Jersey Shore, JWOWW and Snooki took a road trip down to Miami.  Along the way, they stopped at a restaurant in Savannah, Georgia.  I liked this because I myself am a Southerner who himself hails from Georgia; however, I loved this because one of the items on the menu caused Snooki to put on her NOM NOM NOM face:

But what could it be?  Why the Southern delicacy knows as fried pickles, of course.  Ever the consummate pickle aficionado, Snooki had the following to say about this symphony of kosher-dill tastes and deep-fried textures:

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Hardee’s is Lowering America’s Standards in Acceptable Breakfast Items/Clever Innuendoes
June 30, 2009

Two birds, one stone.  Quite impressive, really.  Then again, Hardee’s is nothing if one thing:

hardees classiest

Do you not believe me?  Then just take a gander at their new ad for something they thus far call “biscuit holes”:

CLASSY!  I sincerely hope that these people were actually paid actors (or at least let in on this “clever” marketing “joke” in order to guide their responses); otherwise this is yet another sad day in America’s cultural and intellectual decline.

Don’t get me wrong, I get that it’s been long understood that sex sells.  But since when did we try to market a product off of anal sex jokes?  “The a-hole tastes funny”?  Really?  Yes, I would suspect that it would taste rather funny, but I also don’t think that anybody’s fish taco is tasting magically delicious, so this is just DUMB; unfortunately, it’s so much worse as well.

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Kick Your Day off Right with Jessye Norman’s “Liebestod”
May 1, 2009

Fact: Jessye Norman was born in Augusta, Georgia.  

Fact: Given that she’s a fellow Georgian, this fabulous diva always gives this ol’ opera queen a healthy dose of southern pride for biscuits and gravy and fried oreos and summer thunderstorms and the fact that it birthed the most gorgeous voice the world’s ever know.  

Fact: Jessye Norman’s rendition of Wagner’s “Liebestod” will most assuredly destroy you.  Particularly when she’s performing in front of a wall of fire and dressed in a gold robe, as she is for Jessye Norman: A Portrait, which should incidentally be noted as the DVD that now sits atop my Netflix queue.  

Consider yourselves warned:

Congratulations.  You’ve just had the high point of your day, and now the rest of it’s essentially ruined.  

You’re welcome.

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