Glorious News! Rena Riffel’s Showgirl Will Be the Showgirls Sequel/Remake/Somethingorother of Our Penny/Hopes and Dreams
March 4, 2010

Showgirls: The Return may purport to be the sequel to the greatest movie of all time (because it adds “The Return” to the end of the title), but if the extended trailer’s any indication, that doesn’t mean I have to treat this half-cooked sauerbraten like its canon:

What have you done, Marc Vorlander?  Sure, I haven’t seen this many boobs-per-minute since the last time I watched Showgirls (January 16, 2010, but who’s counting?), which I guess counts as a step in the right direction, but everything else about this trailer is a turgid art-house hot mess.  A Showgirls sequel shouldn’t look boring, but this looks BORING.  Even worse, I don’t see any Rena Riffel, and we were promised Rena Riffel!  Seriously, universe, is there no Penny/hope for a Showgirls follow-up that lives up to the original?

Oh wait, there is:

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Showgirls 2? There’s Going to Be a SHOWGIRLS 2?!?
October 8, 2009

Anyone who knows me or has spent any time with this blog is well aware of how I feel about a certain cinematic masterstroke:

showgirls best movie of all time ever

Sure, I imagine that every time I fall into some tangent extolling the virtues of this classic of classics, my mother rolls her eyes and wonders how I could ever love such garbage.  Garbage like this:

Based on the above clip, however, I believe the more important question is “How could you not love such garbage?”  Seriously, Showgirls, you had me at “DIFFERENT PLACES!”

Anywhosie, there’s now a rumor circulating all over the internet about a sequel to Showgirls, and though I honestly am inclined to call shenanigans, we still need to talk about this like it’s chips and nails.

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