Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner’s Monster Mouth Corner: Oops, I Sandra Lee’d a Shepherd’s Pie
April 26, 2011

So it’s finally happened:

Despite every crack I’ve made about Sandra Lee, I finally hopped on her crazy train and rode into the recipe world called Semi-Homemade. Yes, like some drunk sorority girl dancing atop the bar at an Alpha Delta Pi mixer, I decided last night that I would be try-curious. The only difference was that nobody would be taking me home afterwards for some sloppy on-top-of-the-clothes action followed by a barf in my trash can, but you know what? That’s the difference between food sluts and regular sluts, and I can be okay with that. (Slut Barbie knows what I’m talking about.)

It’s also worth noting that Sandra Lee’s semi-homemade dishes follow her “70/30” philosophy (70% store-bought, 30% fresh), whereas my lazy ass couldn’t be bothered to use anything that hadn’t been sitting atop my cupboard (boxed mashed potato flakes) or in my freezer (a beef pot pie). Hell, even the cheese was pre-shredded, so I guess my shepherd’s pie merely qualifies as “barely homemade.” Whatever. The recipe’s simple, so I encourage you give it a look:

(more…)

Sandra Lee Gives Great (Yuck) Face
March 10, 2010

Look, there’s little reason in trying to tell Sandra Lee a cocktail made from lemonade, heavy cream, and vodka is a probably not a good idea.  Seriously, that woman is an unstoppable freight train of batshit craziness fueled by tablescapes and liquid delicious (booze),which is hardly a bad thing.  It’s just a thing that means she’ll have to learn this particular lesson the hard way:

I’m pretty sure the first face she makes before she even pulls the glass away from her mouth is the one that says, “This was a bad idea.”  The other three-dozen or so faces are her figuring out exactly what sort of bad idea it is.  And while I’m no professional face reader, if this “I hope no one realizes I just threw up in my mouth a little” face is any indication of the taste-bud bleakness:

(more…)

%d bloggers like this: