A New Season of Mad Men Means a New Mad Men Yourself You!
July 7, 2010

So in case you’ve been under some sad, sad rock where the gentle glow of quality television program does not shine, Mad Men‘s fourth season fast approaches, by which I mean why the f*ck isn’t it July 25th already?  Seriously.

Anyways, should your sad, sad rock happened to be buried under a boulder where the interwebs dare not tread, you might not have heard about how AMC has a Mad Men avatar generator over at MadMenYourself.com as part of their online marketing campaign.  Well, they do, and it’s brilliant, and now Mad Men Yourself has been updated in anticipation of the fourth season, so you know what that means: it’s time to Mad Men Yourself all over again!  Everybody’s doing it, and by everybody, I mean me:

mad men avatar generator season 4

See, last season’s Mad Men Yourself me was all about sartorial simplicity (cardigans and ties) and shameless alcoholism (martinis…EVERYWHERE), but a new season of Mad Men demands a new Mad Men me (and you!), so I decided The Look for season 4 is all about “business pizazz!” (plaid jackets and briefcases) and “slightly more conspicuous alcoholic” (oh, Bloody Mary, the drink that’s never too early to drink and can always just be “tomato juice, but fancy” to your coworkers).  My Look also says “Someone’s taken their love of Joan Holloway’s accordion playing one step too far,” but this isn’t a rip-off of a tagline for post-modern slasher, so let’s go see what sort of zany moments from Season Three your Mad Men Yourself you can get yourself into:

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Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner’s Timely, Responsible Reaction to the Saddest Mad Men News Ever
January 29, 2010

Even though it’s been months since Mad Men killed a piece of my soul, I’ve chosen to remain optimistic about Bryan Batt’s future with the series, but earlier this week TV Guide Magazine reported that Matthew Weiner is keeping Sterling Cooper’s prized gay out to pasture.  Even thinking about it now gives me a serious case of Paul Kinsey face:

Sure, it’s Matthew Weiner’s prerogative to do whatever he wants with Mad Men, and I implicitly trust his decisions as its showrunner, but on the other hand:

I wasn’t ready for Sal’s departure when it first happened, and I’m nowhere near ready to move beyond the denial stage of my Mad Men grief, which looks like this:

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This Week in Irresponsible Mad Men Recaps: Sometimes We Just Want to Break Free
November 9, 2009

Let’s just start off by addressing the moment I’m sure we’ve all been buzzing about from last night’s season finale of Mad Men:

mad men tea set scones

That tea set is gorgeous, and those scones look scrumptious.  If you’re going to let a person know that you’re selling their company after barely a year of ownership, you damn well do it with fine china and tasty pastries.  That’s not good business, y’all.  That’s just good manners.

Anyways, in not-as-exciting-as-scones developments, Sterling and Cooper and Draper voted to start a new ad agency, and Lane Pryce is coming along as well:

sterling cooper draper pryce

Seriously, watching the four of them scramble to get everything lined up for Puttnam, Powell, and Lowe was nearly as delicious as I imagine those scones to be.  Pete in his bathrobe negotiating his role in the new firm and getting Don to acknowledge his talents?  Delightful, and only surpassed by Don’s plea to get Peggy on board as well.  But obviously the best part about the forming of Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce is the fact that–by episodes end–nearly everything I love in this show is all under one roof:

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It’s Times Like This That I Question My Commitment to Sparkle Mad Men Motion
October 14, 2009

Oh thank goodness!  A video recap of this past week’s episode of Mad Men that spares me the emotional agony of having to really go into detail with this episode:

It’s not as though this past week’s episode was bad.  Au contraire!  This past week’s episode was quite exceptional.  There were little pleasures to be had, like how Pete Campbell spent the entire scene where Sal was filming the Lucky Strike commercial histrionically coughing up his lungs after some of the Lucky Strike fellows convinced him to try a cigarette.  It may not be this:

But then again, what is?  That’ll do, Pete.  That’ll do.

Then there’s Conrad Hilton, and he is one fantastically crazy old man!  When he’s not thinking of his hotels as missions bringing American values to Godless nations or have a depressive episode, he’s getting ornery over saying that he wants the moon and not literally getting the Moon in his ads.  Damn, y’all, looks like somebody needs his gilded Depends changed, ASAP!

Also, I think it’s safe to say that AMC needs to start making webisodes of Betty Draper writing letters that are set to montages of her doing things in the Draper household.  It was like The Lake House, except without time travel and ugly turtleneck sweaters and general awfulness.  So really it was nothing like The Lake House.  I just enjoy referencing that movie because it was so ridiculous.  And Sandra Bullock’s turtleneck sweater was so ugly.  

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The Mad Men Super-Gigantic, Three-for-One Recapapalooza
September 22, 2009

Oh man, y’all.  I get a little bit tardy (for the party) with keeping my blog promise, and then Sunday night’s episode happened, which was the usual Mad Men greatness.  Until the end, which was easily the ballsiest (and most utterly insane) television Mad Men has put forth thus far.  I’m tempted to prematurely insist that this episode was a game changer for the show, but I’m getting way ahead of myself.

Before we talk about the crazy, let’s go quickly recap the highs and lows of the past three episodes.  A blog promise is a promise, after all, which means we have to discuss things like jai alai, the sport that Regina George would have a few choice words for if she worked at Sterling Cooper:

regina george jai alai

Maybe it’s the fact that any discussion of sports is inherently a discussion I don’t care about, or maybe it’s just that choosing such an obscure sport felt like an incredibly forced way of depicting Horace as spoiled to the point of delusion, but I was not having the jai alai plot.

Fortunately, when Mad Men tries to get all sporty and butch on me, they give us Sal talking about his vision for the Patio commercial:

Sal gets so excited about Ann-Margret that he starts camping about his bedroom.  Kitty makes a sad-face that is totally heartbreaking.  What’s not to adore about this scene? Oh, that’s right: NOTHING!

Also, behold what happens when Pepsi’s bad-idea ad baby shimmies and shakes its way out of the womb:

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A Day Late and a Beef Bourguignon Short, We Finally Have a Mad Men Recap!
August 18, 2009

So I spent my Sunday sipping Pimm’s cups and preparing a beef bourguinon for a Monday crock potting.  It was all very Betty Draper; however, as the cruel mistresses of food fate would have it, I didn’t turn on the crock pot before leaving for work the next day.  I headed back home upon realization and turned on the crock pot, but in my frenzy neglected to make certain that the crock pot was actually plugged in.  Ruh-roh:

crock pot catastrophe

Needless to say, I could’ve broken a chair (Betty Draper style), but I instead chose to drown my sorrows with chicken salad sandwiches and Cary Grant movies, so this recap will be more…impressionistic.  Sure.  That’s a fancier way of saying I’m distracted by my mourning over the loss of French cuisine (because I’m ridiculous), so let’s go with it.

ANYWAYS!

Culinary disasters aside, I think it’s pretty safe to say that the wait for Mad Men was worth it.  Seriously, sweet Don Draper deliciousness, y’all:

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Rejoice! There Will Be Mad Men Season Three Recaps!
July 25, 2009

Are you not the most excited of excited over the imminent return of Mad Men to television?  I know I am.  Seriously, I’m at DEFCON: Riciculous whenever I think about season three, and I’ve yet to get fully caught up on season two, but that doesn’t mean I already think it’s the best season of television of all time!  Where else do you get Colin Hanks as a priest, the beautiful January Jones giving brilliantly nuanced sadface as Betty Draper, or Bryan Batt’s tragicomic genius as the closeted Salvatore Romano?  NOWHERE.

Everything about every episode is truly perfection, which is why the promise of Mad Men‘s third season makes me wet.  Literally:

mad-men-season3-full-543x800.jpg

What does this poster mean?  Did someone set off the sprinklers in Sterling Cooper?  Is this actually a visual metaphor for the murky emotional waters that Don Draper inhabits?  Why am I even asking an irrelevant question?  It’s Mad Men, and that’s all that matters.  The third season could be inexplicably set in Atlantis for all that matters, but so long as we still have the dreamboat deliciousness that is Jon Hamm and the world’s second great Joan (Holloway will always be second to Crawford, but she’s still the tits, pun intended), I’m fully on board.

So on board, in fact, that today I blog promise to write on every episode of this season, which we can all recognize is the one thing this blog was missing.  Well, that, and an appreciation for fish tacos (the vaginal metaphor, not the tasty Mexican meal, duh), but I’ve no plans to go pull Lohan, so you’ll have to survive on Mad Men adoration and my love for the fabulousness that is Christina Hendricks:

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