David Lynch Opens Up About Turning Down Return of the Jedi
December 10, 2009

I vaguely recall having read somewhere that David Lynch was offered the opportunity to direct Return of the Jedi, which is the sort of curious tidbit of film history that I wish I didn’t know because that ridicufest would’ve been amaaazing.  We’ll sadly never know what sort of batshit insanity that would have wrought upon us, but I’d like to imagine that it would involve Agent Cooper as a member of the Rebel Alliance, Ewoks in red suits that talked backwards, and Jabba the Hutt huffing nitrous oxide to Bobby Vinton while he fingerbanged Princess Leia:

Also, everybody would celebrate the fall of the Empire with cherry pie, and then our eyeballs would burst into flame like a Jedi funeral pyre from all the crazy.

ANYWAYS, Ain’t It Cool News stumbled upon a video of David Lynch discussing why he ended up deciding to pass on directing Return of the Jedi, and it’s like everything that’s not The Straight Story that David Lynch has ever done.  So, you know, delightfully weird:

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