Presented With Limited Commentary: A Whole Bunch of Things That This Kid Hates
April 5, 2010

It’s worth mentioning that this kid drops the F-bomb.  A lot.  So let that help you decide whether it’s better to watch this video now or save it for later, but let’s also be clear that you do need to watch this video at one point or another because this kid’s rant seriously deserves a gold star:

To the back of the line, kid who hates Lady Gaga! Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner has a new YouTube rant winner, and it’s this kid.  He hates EVERYTHING.

Oh, and much love to Videogum for this YouTube rant hotness.

Funny People Is the Least Plausible Comedy. Ever.
March 19, 2009

Lots of people like to get all cranky about Judd Apatow’s movies because the formula is pretty standard.  They’re all unrealistic male fantasies in which men always get women way out of their league by emphasizing the importance of personality over looks while simultaneously not adhering to that same standard with its female characters.  Fair enough, but I’ve frankly found the Apatow leads to be an attractive crew.  Seth Rogen’s good looking, and Jason Segal’s flat out attractive.  Throw in their sharp sense of humor, and I’m sold.  Added to that, I can’t call shenanigans on the gender politics of a group of movies that still cares to actually respect its women by making them characters as opposed to caricatures. 

But I must call shenanigans on Funny People:

This movie is so far from being grounded in reality that it’s entered the far reaches of outer space.  In what world would any sane person leave Eric Bana, particularly when it’s Eric Bana that’s also smart enough to be FLUENT IN CHINESE?  That the chief issue in an otherwise perfect is his going to a massage parlor, possibly to be finished with a “happy ending,” and that’s enough to drive you into the arms of ADAM SANDLER???  

Shenanigans, y’all.

I’ll admit that I’m not a huge Adam Sandler fan, whereas I’d gladly watch Eric Bana make sandwiches for two hours.  Preferably shirtless.  So perhaps I’m a bit biased.  But seriously:

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Looks Like David Hayter Will Not Be Invited to Take Back the Night
March 11, 2009

david-hayter-gross

As Videogum noted, one of Watchmen‘s scribes, David Hayter, has posted an open letter on the internet imploring fans to see the movie again this weekend to keep box office up and therefore make studio heads feel confident in green lighting future Watchmen-esque projects.  Much of Hayter’s argument requires him to indulge in a little self-congratulatory ego masturbation, because that’s how you make a convincing argument.  For example:

I’ve seen it twice now, and despite having run the movie in my head thousands of times, my two viewings still don’t’ allow me to view the film with the proper distance or objectivity. Is it Apocalypse Now? Is it Blade Runner? Is it Kubrick, or Starship Troopers? I don’t know yet.

I’m gonna go for d) none of the above.  And also, Mr. Hayter: Kubrick is a filmmaker, so he probably shouldn’t be in a list that consists of movie titles.  But maybe that’s a stylistic choice irksome only to me, so I won’t dwell.

I certainly agree with his sentiment that, particularly when it comes to the film industry, you cast a vote every time you purchase a ticket.  It’s rather tacky that he has to be the one to make this plea for audiences to see Watchmen again; the movie’s as much his (ridicu)baby as it is Snyder’s, so Hayter’s essentially one of those parents with those awful bumper stickers on their vans about how their child’s on honor roll or Mensa.  Except whenever he has you come over and babysit, he makes you pay him.  He’s wrapped the ugliest sales-pitch sweater in a box with lovely pity-party ribbons and glossy sophisticated-taste paper as if that makes what he’s giving you any better.  Thanks, but no thanks.

But when Hayter gets to his climax, in which he uses a particular scene from Watchmen to articulate how the movie’s supposed to be dark and challenging yet ultimately rewarding as entertainment, he completely shits his (crazy) pants:

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