I Guess There Truly Is No Such Thing as a Stupid Question
August 8, 2009

Remember that one time at blog camp when I accepted the fact that I was going to see Post Grad because of its impressive trifecta of attractive male leads, excellent supporting cast members, and an infectious final song at the trailer’s end?  Sure, that song has elsewhere been described as mediocre, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t grab you by your ovaries (real or imaginary) and make you swell up with the sort of emotional angst and swooning romanticism that can only happen when your pop culture diet includes Josh-Schwartz-produced teen soap operas and the entirety of of Mandy Moore’s filmography.  Seriously, it’s the trailer song that just doesn’t quit (at turning you into an teenage girl):

Oh man, is it my heavy flow day for my wide-set vagina?  Nope, it’s just the inimitable sounds of Carolina Liar that have you rooting for Alexis Bledel to figure out her post-grad work situation and get her man.  That’s just how generipop works.

But, before I told you, I bet you too were asking yourself, “Just what the hell is that damn song in the Post Grad trailer?” when you first heard it.  I asked that question months ago and Shmathan quickly provided the answer.  Little did I know I’d apparently asked my first Hard-Hitting Question, a question that hits so hard that plenty of others (likely teenage girls) found themselves Googling the same question.  And so now there’s this:

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The Video For Carolina Liar’s “Show Me What I’m Looking For” Is Terrible, So I Naturally Can’t Stop Watching It
July 25, 2009

File this blathering under Benjamin at his timeliestness, but let’s talk about the video for “Show Me What I’m Looking For”:

Obviously fake guitar playing that services nothing whatsoever?  Check.  Scruffy rocker in desperate need of a haircut definitely and bath quite possibly?  Check and double check.  Unnecessary aerial shots meant to convey the “drama” of the song?  Checkity check check check.  Congratulations!  You’ve graduated from the Academy of Embarassingly Cliched Music Videos.  With honors!

I’m not trying to rag on Carolina Liar or anything, in part because I have that song on my iPod because I enjoy the sound of melodrama, and also because ragging on Carolina Liar is Shmathan’s job, but why is this sort of uninspired garbage being passed off as a music video?

I’m not saying every video needs to be a “Strawberry Swing” to rank, but “Show Me What I’m Looking For” is at least overblown enough as a song to demand something less meh.  I’m disappointed in you, band capable of making me want to see movies starring Alexis Bledel.  Your music video most certainly did not show me what I’m looking for, aka, utter ridiculousness.

If you’re going to milk melodramatic cliches, you gotta know what works.  Next time, let your video tell the story a middle-aged woman whose glamorous youth has long faded.  And be sure perform in a windy rain storm.  In slow motion, natch.  And also be sure to actually include the choir, damnit!

Oh, and one more thing: No more aerial shots.  They remind people of Creed, and that is never acceptable.

There’s a Million Reasons Why Glee is Your New Favorite Show. Here are Just a Few
May 1, 2009

First and foremost, there’s the extended trailer.  Without a question, this show is going to be brilliant:

LOLOLOL!  This is the best, right?  RIGHT.

Still, if you find yourself needing talking points to explain to your friends why you’ll be busy on May 19th, as well as why they should also be canceling plans and staying in for the Glee preview special, then allow me to give you a few suggestions:

  • Glee is a genuinely clever spin on the archetypal high-school-set underdog narrative.  This is essentially like Bring It On (a movie that nobody, or at least nobody I’d ever care to know, doesn’t love) stretched into a serial television show and made infinitely more camp by being set in the musical-number-laden world of glee clubs.  You certainly don’t have to be a ‘mo to love this show, but it probably helps to have one in the family.  Or, at the least, your place of work.
  • Jane Lynch is in it.  This woman is an undeniable force of pure hilarity, and if she’s reason enough to see Post Grad, she certainly is reason enough to watch Glee.
  • Any mention of gold stars immediately triggers thoughts of Notes on a Scandal, which is a completely unrelated movie that is totally incredible and you really should see if you haven’t already.  Hell, just watching the trailer makes me certain that May 19th is going to be a gold star day.
  • Matthew Morrison, the guy who plays the teacher in charge of the glee club, is the Altoid of good looks.  He’s curiously handsome.
  • Ryan Murphy’s the creator.  He gave us the short-lived-but-totally-amazing show Popular and Nip/Tuck, a show that’s now completely derailed into batshit insanity but was genuinely great for the first two seasons.  Any television series that casts Famke “Fierce Bitch” Janssen as a tranny can’t be bad.
  • One word: Journey.

So there you have it.  Now neither you nor any of your friends have any excuses to not to watch Glee.  Seriously, y’all, it’s going to be the greatest.  Show.  EVER!

Much love to Parker for the tip!

Damn You, Post Grad Trailer! Must You Exploit My Weaknesses So?
April 28, 2009

I fully recognize that, over the past few weeks, I’ve taken a rather aggressive dive into what some people may call “insanity,” but I prefer to call it “camp appreciation.”  Whatever.  The point being, while I may get rather excitable when talking about Obsessed and super duper excitable when even alluding to Powder Blue, I can still tell a bad movie when I see one.  Ladies and gents, Post Grad is one such movie:

It’s a Hollywood take the quarter-life crisis!  Lots of laughs (ruh-roh, you’ve been spotted making out by your whole family, and your little brother’s fascinated by the fact that you’ve got boobs; incest: it’s always a riot!), tons of drama (he’s moving to NYC for law school?  mais non!), and many an important life lesson (“What you do with your life is just one half of the equation.  More important is, who you’re with when you’re doing it.”  PROFOUND!) are all packed into Post Grad!  Yikes.

This movie frankly looks about as exciting as a stale rice cake and as original as a stack of photocopies printed on recycled paper; furthermore, it doesn’t help this movie’s cause that it’s staring Alexis Bledel, the actress who has done absolutely nothing for me ever since Gilmore Girls.  The plot looks predictable, and it’ll indubitably end up with Alexis Bledel finding a job in New York City and living with the rather dreamy boyfriend because that’s how living in New York City is.  All of us find jobs in a snap and have dreamy boyfriends.  There, I’ve saved you $12 dollars and made you enviable of the NYC lifestyle all at the same time.  You’re welcome.

All that being said, I still plan on seeing this movie.  Why?  It’s really quite simple:

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