I Really Really Really Really Really Really Like Everything About This
March 8, 2015

tom hanks carly rae jepsen i really like you

I get that not everything on this blog is goint to be camp, and Carly Rae Jepsen is definitely not camp, but whatever. This music video for “I Really Like You” is terminally delightful in every way, and that’s good enough for a Sunday post:



The Lady Tigra’s “Summertime LA” Is the Hottest New Summer Jam
July 28, 2011

I know I said “I Got Pregnant” was our summer jam, but changing her mind is prerogative held by both women and fickle queens alike, y’all. Besides, the Lady Tigra’s “Summertime” has swooped in like a p*ssed off, crown-hungry drag queen and SNATCHED. MY. LOVE. Can you blame me? Those lyrics? POETRY. The beats? SICKENING. Seriously, the only thing hotter than waiting in an MTA station in NYC this past weekend is this song. One’s guaranteed to make you sweat, the other make you moist. Ew. Whatever. So hot, this song! The hottest, even!

Oh, and also:


Today’s “Quelle Surprise!” Shocker: Robyn Covering Coldplay’s “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall” Is Great
July 26, 2011

Remember that time Coldplay’s video for “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall” didn’t even go to this school belong on this blog? Well, color my occasionally questionable blog choices JUSTIFIED, y’all, ‘cos it’s like I have a fifth sense or something: Robyn recently stopped by Radio 1’s Live Lounge and performed a cover of “Every Teardrop Is a Waterfall,” and it’s great! OBVIOUSLY.


Important Breaking News of Utmost Importance: Scissor Sisters’ Night Work Is Streaming Online!
June 25, 2010

You know what’s really, really gay in the most ferocious of ways?  This promo still for the new Scissor Sisters album, Night Work:

Camp, after all, is a queer sensibility derived from the French slang camper, which means “to pose in an exaggerated fashion”, and this photo is all about the highly stylized placement and posing of our beloved Sisters.  Of course, this photo is also about Ana Matronic’s hair.  And that double breasted jacket.  And those fetching high heels.  And Del Marquis being my favorite piece of guitar-playing, suited-up hot sex.  And the pearls, OH, the pearls!  In fact, the only thing that throws this picture off is Jake Shear’s vinyl underoos.  Girl, don’t go butchin’ my heart!

ANYWAYS, the new Scissor Sisters album, Night Work, is streaming over on MySpace, and the Sisters and producer Stuart Price have met–nay, exceeded!–my every hope of making the most gloriously gay album EVER.  Clearly this means you need to give it a listen.  Immediately.  And really, why wouldn’t you?


“Not Myself Tonight” Is the New Gold Standard of Batslut Insanity
April 30, 2010

I think it’s important to contextualize the new music video for Christina Aguilera’s “Not Myself Tonight” with a couple things: firstly, unless you work in a sex shop that specializes in high-end leather wear and bedazzled gag balls or an office with an HR staff that doesn’t consider getting your Nomi Malone on and mercilessly humping EVERYTHING inappropriate workplace conduct (so basically you work at the Cheetah), then yes, “Not Myself Tonight” might in fact be considered Not Safe For Work.  More importantly, though, I’m pretty sure that Sarah Michelle Gellar’s Christina Aguilera impersonation is going to be so miffed that the real Xtina finally got around to doing a cover of Lil’ Kim’s “C*m-Guzzling F*ck Whore”:

Oh lordy, Christina, that was most certainly skanky enough.  Bonkers, too, which can only mean that we need to talk about this thing, so let’s all put some aloe vera on our Christina burns and talk about this thing after the jump.


When Christina Aguilera Tickles Your Gay Fancy, She Pre-Sells Another Copy of Bionic
April 27, 2010

I may know about as much about selling records as I do about finding the G-spot (a surprising amount, actually!), which is precisely why I concur with Christina Aguilera that tranny glambot from outer space is a great look to put on the cover for your latest album, Bionic:

christina aguilera bionic album cover high resolution

Think about it for a second and you’ll realize how this cover has great crossover appeal for both Joan Crawford enthusiasts AND cyborg fetishists.  Genius!

Also, if this promotional photo from the video for “Not Myself Tonight” is any indicator, she’s also wisely courting fans of Showgirls, Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” video, and leather daddies.  Or in other words, quite possibly every gay man on Earth:


“Relator” is Catchier Than a Pandemic, Y’all
June 16, 2009

I was full-on DO-NOT-WANT! when Scarlett Johansson released her album of Tom Waits covers.  It struck me as an ego trip wrapped in a vanity project, so I avoided it plague-style.  Needless to say, I was totally braced for a second helping of that reaction when I read on Stereogum that she was teaming up with Pete Yorn for an album called Break Up.  Pete Yorn may be able to reverse my “No, No, New Jersey” policy, but could he possibly lend credibility to Ms. Johansson’s singing career?  Well, you’re welcome to form your own opinion by listening to the first single, “Relator,” over here, but as for me, well:


“Relator” is some seriously catchy business, y’all!  Those guitars are popalicious from the very get go, that bass line is delightful, and I’m really digging Scarlett Johansson.  Maybe it’s just perfect timing, but this song is totally my summer jam.  It’s got a warm bubbliness to it that is perfect for iPod time when walking the streets of New York City.  “Relator” and a Mr. Softee ice cream on a balmy summer day would be amaaaazing.  Not the balmy part, per se, but summers in the city do have that tendency to feel like you’re sitting in a fat man’s ass crack.  Seriously, New York City summers are totally the worst, but “Relator” is so good that it can make anything great.  Including Scarlett Johansson’s music career.  Pete Yorn’s got the magic touch, y’all!

Break Up drops September 8th, by the by.  Given how good “Relator” is, though, I’m not built for that sort of patience without a conniption fit or seven.

Heidi Montag’s “Sex Ed” is Your New Favorite Song
April 29, 2009

Do you enjoy having your ears bleed?  Have you ever wondered what awful sounds like?  Is good taste your enemy, and do you imagine opening the Lament Configuration to be your idea of a pleasant way to spend a Saturday afternoon?  Well, if you answered yes to any of these, then do I ever have the summer jam for you.  It’s Heidi Montag’s “Sex Ed,” and it’s profound(ly bad):

I mean, are there words for this?  Heidi Montag’s totally raised the bar on scraping the bottom of the barrel, and for that she genuinely deserves applause.  On one hand, this is without a doubt the single most dreadful piece of noise that’s been misnomered as music I’ve ever heard in my entire life, but on the other hand I just can’t stop listening to it.  This is the soundtrack to my dreams when I dream of Showgirls 2.  This “song” is so terrible that I imagine it’s come from a different universe where everything’s indubitably the worst, or at the very least a another planet where everything is backwards.  “Sex Ed” is the new gold standard of bad ideas, and this mess is completely amazing.

Also, I think it goes without saying, but the photo that accompanies this mess merely confirms what we’ve all suspected: Heidi Montag is one classy bitch.  When Spencer Pratt tries to run for President of the United States, which is a horrifying prospect that I’ve never the less accepted as most likely inevitable, this woman could be First Lady.  Remember that when you go into the voting booths of the future, America.  Remember that.

Thank goodness we’ve got Videogum to discover the finest pleasures in life.

%d bloggers like this: