At Last! A Video About International Politics That Makes Sense!
November 5, 2009

If years of education that included absolutely zero classes involving international politics have taught me anything, it’s that you can always the country whose cultural attaché is a robotic cat with a penchant for pancakes:

foreign minister komura doraemon pancakes

When it comes to basically everything, Japan speaks the universal language of batshit crazy, and this makes it pretty much impossible to not pay attention when the topic turns to current global affairs.  Seriously, you might as well ignore Raymond Babbitt at a black jack table, because you know that whatever ridiculousness the Japanese contributes to the conversation is going to be the path to diplomacy and world peace.

Which, of course, is precisely the message this little nugget of lunacy, “My Boyfriend Is the President”:

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Gay Marriage with a Side of Pancakes
April 7, 2009

Hey, y’all, it’s official: Vermont’s the greatest state.  Ever.  Why?  They’ve gotten rid of those silly civil unions in favor of letting the gays actually get married!  Added to that, let’s not forget that this state is also famous for its maple syrup.  I think we all know what that means: Homo Marriage Pancake Party!  Yaaay!  

Seriously, though, until New York finally gets its act together, I’ve now decided that Vermont’s the place to go for your big gay nuptials.  I mean, perhaps it’s just me, but I don’t think there could be a better wedding reception than one consisting of breakfast foodstuffs slathered in maple syrup.  And, on top of that, you could do a themed reception!  Seriously, just base it off this completely bizarre ad for Spike TV that I found earlier today:

Your reception is sure to be wild and crazy with all those bikinis and pancakes and waffle fights.  Not only will your wedding be a little part of history, but it’ll also be the “Huh?”-vent of the century!  Everybody will ask you what the hell you were thinking, and you can simply respond, “Well, I don’t really know, but–just like my love for Theodore–it’s always felt right.”  And really, with an answer like that, all doubt shall cease, ‘cos who doesn’t love love?  Or pancakes, for that matter?

Nobody, that’s who.

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