Please, Oh Please, OH PLEASE Let MTV Resurrect Bride & Tunnel
July 27, 2011

I’ll admit that I was tempted to head this post with a screen grab from when one of the male cast mates projectile vomits. I don’t know, it just felt like it’s more attention grabbing, but this being the blog that it is, I decided to go with the screen grab where a catfight erupts in a club and results with a girl getting shoved to the floor. My sensibilities are nothing if not consistent.

ANYWAYS, here’s a sizzle reel for MTV’s abandoned reality series Bridge & Tunnel. It’s basically like Jersey Shore, except it’s Staten Island. And everybody appears to live either at home or in a hotel? I don’t know. What I do know is that I haven’t gotten the trash TV train wreck tingles this bad since I saw the original Jersey Shore promo. The language is a little raw, but who cares? This show looks completely amazing:

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Daria: The Complete Animated Series on DVD Will Be All the Daria You Could Ever Desire
February 24, 2010

Quite literally.  From DVDActive:

All 5 seasons will be included, along with both movies. Extras will include the Pilot – Sealed With a Kick, a Mystik Spiral Music Video “Freakin’ Friends”, Daria Day Intros, a Top Ten Video Countdown Hosted by Daria & Jane, Cast & Crew Interviews, and a Never Before-Seen Mystik Sprial spin-off script.

YES.

Never mind that no price was given.  I would give my first-born fake baby to have Daria on DVD, or at the very least an IOU for a real one.  Oh hell, who am I kidding?  It’s $50.99 over at Amazon.com, which is a bargain when it comes to nostalgia-fueled impulse buys.

It obviously goes without saying that this is my confirm-order face:

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Jersey Shore: Don’t Ask Questions. Just Enjoy the (Train Wreck) Ride
December 9, 2009

Sorry for the timeliness, y’all, but I’ve been stuck in deep contemplation over our most recent pop culture phenomenon that will surely be swept under the rug of irrelevancy as soon at something more stupefyingly trashtastic comes our way.  Naturally I’m referring Jersey Shore:

And, while as much as I love the duck phone and the multiple references to puke breath and the guidos’ cartoonish hyper-masculinity and the simple fact that Pauly D owns a tanning bed IN HIS OWN HOME BEDROOM (!?!?!), I’ve also come to the decision that it is nearly impossible to talk about this show because it’s profoundly stupid.  It’s basically a documentary that was rejected by PBS because PBS decided that it would be disingenuous to air a series that treats its subject matter like a comically exhibitionistic alien race as opposed to real people that are part of an actual cultural minority but was then saved when MTV came along and was like, “Standards, shmandards!  TAKE US TO YOUR ARTIFICIALLY TANNED LEADER!!!”  Really, attempting to apply any sort of critical thought to this show is like like begging for a brain aneurysm.

For example, I know that enjoying this show as a study in human train wrecks makes us all slightly worse people than we were before Jersey Shore was in our lives, but even acknowledging that makes my head hurt when I consider that these people are so confident in how they see themselves that they clearly could care less what the rest of us think.  It can only explain this:

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Or as I Like to Call It: Gindaloon, The Documentary Miniseries
November 11, 2009

Here’s the promo for MTV’s newest reality series, Jersey Shore, which just might be the nadir pinnacle of television programming:

It’s basically the bastard baby between The Hills and The Real Housewives of New Jersey, so it’s going to be 2009’s prize gem of trash television.  I personally hope that at least one girl pulls a Teresa and flips a table over, and I super hope at least one of the guys acts like this guy.  Chances are they will at least that ridiculous and then some, and that can mean only one thing:

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