I’m a firm believer in the thought that 2008 was an impressively strong year for movies. In one year, we were treated to inspired films such as Milk, The Dark Knight, WALL·E, Love Songs, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, The Last Mistress, and Zombie Strippers*. While we’ve admittedly still got months to go and the inevitable Oscar season of nomination hopefuls, this year’s already seeming comparatively disappointing for actual good movies. Bad movies, on the other hand, seem to be popping up like Kudzu in Georgia, so I’m obviously happier than a go-go dancer at a g-string sale.
Think about it: this is the year in which we’ve already been given Obsessed and we’re soon going to get Powder Blue. There’s no way in hell that Inglourious Basterds is not going to be garbage-and-a-half (the prospect of witnessing Eli Roth’s acting is just bizarro icing on Quentin Tarantino’s insane-o cake), and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will be Baytastic (meaning fast, loud, and totally batshit crazy), so our summer’s clearly a hot mess, and this fall brings us a real winner:
Beyond the fact that this poster is a pretty sub-standard Saul Brown rip-off, this is a movie with Jesse Metcalfe in TOP BILLING ABOVE MICHAEL DOUGLAS. Amber Tamblyn’s at least actually been in movies (John Tucker Must Die isn’t a movie, just awful at 24-frames per second), and she gets second billing, but she still gets billing above Michael Douglas? How did producers assemble this cast, and how in the hell is this movie not movie heading straight to DVD faster than a bullet train wreck? Is Michael Douglas even actually in this movie?
Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner 