Martha Stewart Reads Well, Should Do Every Comedy Central Roast
March 31, 2015

Let’s face it: Martha Stewart is better than us. Martha Stewart is better than us at cooking, she’s better than us at arts and crafts, she’s  better than us at working a stripper pole (unless you’re Nomi Malone, in which case you already know you’re a goddess), and she’s better than us at throwing expert level shade. Case in point: this clip from last night’s Comedy Central Roast of Justin Bieber. It’s more than a mere argument for why Martha’s read qualifies her for every future Comedy Central Roast; it’s a teachable moment from Paris Is Burning, as all things should be:

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Martha Stewart Adds Pole Dancing to Her Extensive List of Talents
January 20, 2010

Martha Stewart’s talk show films a block away from where I work.  Sometimes when I’m walking to work in the morning, I’ll pass the queue of people waiting to see a live taping, and I always tell myself I should try and get tickets for a taping, but then I never do.

So naturally, this video of Martha Stewart fills me with regret.  So much regret:

That said, just because I didn’t see this in person doesn’t mean that my reaction is any different than it is right now:

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