Joel Schumacher’s Twelve Could Be Gossip Girl on Bonkers Pills or: In Defense of the Twelve Trailer
April 7, 2010

It’s important to note that you shouldn’t do drugs, but if you’re adamant about making bad life choices like Emily Meade is in Twelve, it is wise to at least to put yourself in a room that will make tripping balls a bit more like “Cycles” as directed by a gay man:

twelve emily meade teddy bears

It’s also important to note that the trailer for Joel Schumacher’s adaptation of the Nick McDonell’s novel Twelve contains the following in no particular order: sex, drugs, spoiled white kids, foul language, violence, “Kids” by MGMT, Kiefer Sutherland’s velvet sex voice, Manhattan’s Upper East Side, 50 Cent being ridiculously jacked and leaving little to the imagination, Chace Crawford with facial scruff, and Ellen Barkin.  Naturally, this begs two questions:

  1. Is this extended trailer safe for your place of work?
  2. Can you please explain to me how Twelve won’t end up being the best fake episode of Gossip Girl EVER?

Twelve trailer, y’all:

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