Elizabeth Taylor: A Nobody Puts Baby in a Horner Mini Memorium
March 23, 2011

As we’ve all without doubt most sadly heard by now, Dame Elizabeth Taylor has passed away at the age of 79 after being hospitalized six weeks ago for congenital heart failure. With a career and life as wildly storied as hers (the accolades and awards! The marriages and divorces and remarriages! Her tireless contributions to the fight against HIV and AIDS! Being Elizabeth frickin’ Taylor!), it would be wrong to not offer one of Hollywood’s greatest and most glamourous screen icons of all time a moment of elegant and somber reflection, which is precisely why you should read this New York Times‘s obituary. It really is quite the lovely tribute.

This being the particular corner of the internet that it is, however, it would also be remiss to not pay respect with a wink and a mince and the utmost devotion to the divine Dame Taylor. After all, we’ve gotta smile through the tears (and believe me, there were tears this morning. At work. And now. So awkward!), which is precisely (and perhaps a little surprisingly?) why I’m not going to make too much about this:

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Oh Look, Here’s Katharine Hepburn on a Skateboard
March 19, 2011

Tony Hawk can suck it, y’all, ‘cos this is everybody’s new Lord of Dogtown (whatever the Catherine Hardwicke reference that means):

Apparently this photo comes from Katharine Hepburn’s autobiography, Me: Stories of My Life, which raises the following important questions:

  1. Why in the world haven’t I read Katharine Hepburn’s autobiography? It’s an autobiography written by Katharine Hepburn. With pictures of Katharine Hepburn. Like this one of Katharine Hepburn riding a skateboard. I sorry, but SOLD. (Katharine Hepburn!)
  2. Also, who wants to give me $40 so I can also get a used audiobook read as by the author? Seriously, few things truly delight me more her clipped, New England diction. It’s like slathering fresh Maine lobster and putting it in my ears. Delicious.
  3. Does this mean I can now start referring to Katharine Hepburn as “noted cinema thespian/extreme skateboarder”? I suspect not, but f*ck it. As far as I’m concerned, of course it does!
  4. Am I going to use the pleasingly surreal sight of Katharine Hepburn on a skateboard as an excuse to what I do believe to be the most indisputably batshit insane picture of Katharine Hepburn ever?

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Today’s Fabulous Image in Cinema: Katharine Hepburn in Bringing Up Baby
July 26, 2010

Nothing puts me in the mood to caterwaul “DAAAVID!” quite like the delightfully crazy-eyed focus that Katharine Hepburn brings as she attempts to pop an olive into her mouth while wearing one of the most decidedly bonkers veils I’ve ever seen in my all-time favorite screwball comedy, Bringing Up Baby.  I mean, have you seen the masthead?  I wasn’t simply punning on Dirty Dancing, y’all.  No no, think of the masthead as  a multi-layered, metatexual tapestry of terrible punnage that looks like a four-headed ouroboros (one for each of the leading ladies in Sex and the City 2).  Seriously, I’m not sure anything will ever be as egregious as the one-two pun(ch) of “Abu Dhabi Doo!” and “Lawrence of my labia,” and it should probably remain unknown if such a pun exists, but much like Judy Garland or Katharine Hepburn and Cary Grant in the following clip from Bringing Up Bay:

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