We Interrupt Our Previously Scheduled Catch Up With a Breaking Inception Craigslist Ad
August 10, 2010

If you haven’t seen Inception, *SPOILER ALERT!* Marion Cotillard plays Mal, Cobb’s (Leonardo DiCaprio) wife and subconscious projection of his guilt over her untimely passing.  Oh yeah, she’s also a totally badass bitch:

When she’s not trying to persuade Cobb to join her for all eternity in Limbo, she’s shooting and shanking people who get in her way.  If you wanted to be a class bomb about it, you could say she makes it her business to f*ck your sh*t up, which is sorta like what the girl posting this Inception-inspired Craigslist casual encounter ad wants to one very special guy.  It’s definitely not safe for work, but it will also break your brain more than Joseph Gordon Levitt’s zero-gravity fight scene, so of course you should check it out:

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It’s Probably Way Too Early for Me to Be This Excited About Elektra Luxx; But Also: OOPS!, Too Late!
March 17, 2010

Seeing as Elektra Luxx just premiered at SXSW, and seeing as this most likely means that (like its predecessor, Women in Trouble) Elektra Luxx won’t be released into theaters ’til late fall, I know I shouldn’t be getting worked up about seeing this movie quite so soon, PARTICULARLY when I still haven’t seen Women in Trouble to confirm if it is in fact the candy-colored campstravaganza I so hope it to be.  Seriously, this could be a recipe for most disappointing thing since that one time when the nerds saw Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace or that other time when I saw the trailer for Marc Vorlander’s Showgirls: The Return, but something tells me that’s doubtful, and that something is poster:

electra luxx posterErmm, I’m sorry, but in such instances of hot pink, European-movie-poster chic fabulousness, I’ve every reason to freak my freak out.  This poster has already won the Silver in the 2010 HomOlympics (Gold and Lifetime Achievements went to Johnny Weir because le duh), so let’s not even talk about the plot summary.  Wait, scratch that and channel some Jessica-Alba-in-Fantastic-Four annunciation: LET’S:

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From the Network that Brought You Patricidal Sex…
July 7, 2009

Shmathan is again displeased…

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After learning that ABC Family is teaching a generation of young girls that having sex will kill your parents, I was curious to see what else this network had to offer America’s impressionable youth.  What I discovered enraged me. It seems that tonight the network will premier its newest “original” series, 10 Things I Hate About You; the newest pop culture abomination to make Ben’s Do Not Want list and my ever-growing catalog of Catastrophes.  I do not suffer this news gladly.

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