Sh*t Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan Says
February 28, 2015

I had almost forgotten about “Shit Girls Say” meme craze, which is fine, because it’s not 2012, and I try to rely upon more than trite gendered observations and casual misogyny for humor. I rely upon innumerable Showgirls references instead, because I dine on sophistication. (And Doggie Chow.)

Speaking of sophistication, here’s an 8-minute montage of Alexis Carrington quotes, because even the most exhausted meme is revitalized by Joan Collins, Dynasty clips, and a glamorous yet sensible appreciation of shoulder pads.

Here’s the Greatest Catfight Ever to Hold You Over ‘Til the Obsessed Review Posts
April 27, 2009

obsessed-ridics

Were you one of the many who helped contribute to the $28.5 million opening weekend box office for Obsessed?  I know I was, and we can all agree that it was one fabulous mess of a movie that I for certain will not be getting over any time soon.  Hopefully Hollywood gets it right and realizes that this movie’s success is not just because it’s a Beyonce vehicle; it succeeded because it plays like the love child between Fatal Attraction and Lakeview Terrace.  If their love child just so happened to eat paint chips, natch.  Beyonce starring in it is just diva icing on the awesome cake.

Anyways, there’s just so much to talk about with Obsessed that I plan to take my sweet freakin’ time writing up that review.  So, in the mean time, let me leave you with the most incredible catfight the world has ever witnessed.  It comes from Dynasty, but that should come as no surprise to catfight connoisseurs:

The catfight in Obsessed sadly pales in comparison to this one.  Nobody gets beaten over the head with a mannequin’s arm, the Beyonce/Ali brawl doesn’t at any point devolve into a glitter fight, and Ms. Sasha Fierce certainly doesn’t try to choke a white bitch with a pink feather boa.  Then again, nobody’s perfect.

Beyonce should take notes on this clip for Obsessed 2: This Time I’ll Show You Even Crazier, which is a movie that we can all recognize must be made.  Immediately.  Get to work, Hollywood!  America has spoken, and it wants more bitch fights!

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