Glorious News! Rena Riffel’s Showgirl Will Be the Showgirls Sequel/Remake/Somethingorother of Our Penny/Hopes and Dreams
March 4, 2010

Showgirls: The Return may purport to be the sequel to the greatest movie of all time (because it adds “The Return” to the end of the title), but if the extended trailer’s any indication, that doesn’t mean I have to treat this half-cooked sauerbraten like its canon:

What have you done, Marc Vorlander?  Sure, I haven’t seen this many boobs-per-minute since the last time I watched Showgirls (January 16, 2010, but who’s counting?), which I guess counts as a step in the right direction, but everything else about this trailer is a turgid art-house hot mess.  A Showgirls sequel shouldn’t look boring, but this looks BORING.  Even worse, I don’t see any Rena Riffel, and we were promised Rena Riffel!  Seriously, universe, is there no Penny/hope for a Showgirls follow-up that lives up to the original?

Oh wait, there is:

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Alien Trespass is the New Face of Bad Intentional Camp
March 30, 2009

Before you watch this trailer, you should know that Alien Trespass looks like absolute dreck.  That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t watch the trailer; seriously, it’s like a cautionary tale for aspiring filmmakers everywhere about how intentional camp is almost always doomed fails:

When you know you’re supposed to give a bad performance because you’re in a movie that’s directed in the vein of sci-fi/monster b-movies from the 1950s,  there’s no divide between the performance attempted and the performance given from which camp springs.  Camp appreciation functions in part by recognizing the inherent artifice of film as it peers into the gap between the aspiration and the achievement and revels in how this gap tears open traditional modes of reception to reveal something strange and beautiful and new.  In a sense, it’s like coming out of the closet: both are about are the thrill of and pleasure in transgressing norms.  When you close the gap, though, camp has no place to erupt from, and you just have a bad performance.  Whereas the camp pleasure of watching Mars Attacks! comes from its desire to take the material seriously enough to leave that space open, every single aspect of Alien Trespass is a deliberate attempt to create camp; everything is so determinedly bad that you’re just faced with a whole hell of a lot of awful.  

Added to this already terrible bad idea, though, is the idea behind this movie’s marketing campaign.  This mess’ll kill enough brain cells with its shear stupidity to put you in a vegetative state: 

Ruh-roh, you’re now in a coma!

This is completely not funny or interesting (except when the one guy says “I’m really more into sports.”), and Eric McCormack is awful in that promo.  I don’t particularly care to take the effort to pretend that this movie is a long lost relic from the 50s so that I may in some way appreciate the filmmaker’s intentions of crafting an “homage” to schlock.  I’m going to just go with him intending to make a movie I’ve no interest in seeing.  None.  At.  All.

As Susan Sontag observed: “You can’t do camp on purpose.”  Some people, I guess, never learn.

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