Sister Sunshine Is Your Fag Hag
July 18, 2011

Listen, queen. Don’t get Sister Sunshine wrong. It’s not that she hates gay people  or anything. After all, she loves how you two can go out for appletinis or stay in with pints of your favorite flavors of Häagen-Dazs (she just a fiend for the raspberry vanilla swirl!), and she looooves that you will always greet her problems with a comforting “Oh, gurhl…” and offer a sympathetic sassy snap when all is resolved. You’re totes her bestie!

But still…

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Sorry, GLAAD, But GlambertGate Is About Homophobia
December 4, 2009

More GlambertGate talk?  I know, I know.  I hate to sound like some radical leftist gay who turns everything into a rant against white patriarchal heteronormativity:

You: Isn’t this blog usually more funny?

Me: DID YOU JUST CALL ME A HUMORLESS FAGGOT?!?

But c’mon, it’s fair to argue that the whole situation with Adam Lambert and ABC is the result of some sort of pop-culture gay panic, and–regardless of the deciding factor in ABC’s decision to cancel Lambert’s future appearance on the network–it’s important to discuss what this particular moment says about artistic expression and gay acceptance in mainstream media.  That, and the whole debacle’s becoming a first-class shit show.

First off, there’s this:

Since no moment in popular culture to involve a homosexual is complete without a statement from GLAAD, the Los Angeles Times reported yesterday that GLAAD had the following words to contribute:

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More Adam Lambert Performance Cancellations? It’s Time to Call Shenanigans on ABC
December 3, 2009

Well, it looks like it’s not just the New York Senate that hates gay people this week.  ABC has yet again pulled the plug on my favorite Cristal-Connors-channeling, wasteland-wandering glam bear:

When his Good Morning America performance was cancelled last week, there was at least an air of reason to the decision.  It may have been somewhat sheepish, but it’s hard to blame ABC for not wanting to run the risk of another “shocking” live performance on morning television.  I didn’t get what all the was about over his AMA performance, but it’s also safe to say that a camp-loving gay man and the majority of conservative America will have radically different takes on what it takes to be “too gratuitously sexual” on television.  Fine, America, you hate when nipples pop up during your Super Bowl Half-Time Shows, and fake oral sex and a gay smooch on a third-tier music awards show are also out of the question.  Duly noted, now let’s all move on.

As I read on Celebitchy, though, we haven’t moved on, and ABC has now cancelled Adam Lambert’s performances on both Jimmy Kimmel Live and Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, which Lambert speculated on Twitter as a result of pressure from the FCC.  Yet, as the Los Angeles Times observes and Queerty reiterated, both shows would broadcast late enough that Lambert’s performance would have to try damn hard to get the FCC to slap ABC with fines for indecency.  So, with the FCC out, what else could it be?

Going off the New York Times ArtsBeats Blog, my guess is ABC must still be suffering audience anxiety:

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Hardee’s is Lowering America’s Standards in Acceptable Breakfast Items/Clever Innuendoes
June 30, 2009

Two birds, one stone.  Quite impressive, really.  Then again, Hardee’s is nothing if one thing:

hardees classiest

Do you not believe me?  Then just take a gander at their new ad for something they thus far call “biscuit holes”:

CLASSY!  I sincerely hope that these people were actually paid actors (or at least let in on this “clever” marketing “joke” in order to guide their responses); otherwise this is yet another sad day in America’s cultural and intellectual decline.

Don’t get me wrong, I get that it’s been long understood that sex sells.  But since when did we try to market a product off of anal sex jokes?  “The a-hole tastes funny”?  Really?  Yes, I would suspect that it would taste rather funny, but I also don’t think that anybody’s fish taco is tasting magically delicious, so this is just DUMB; unfortunately, it’s so much worse as well.

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All You Strange Rock and Rollers, You Know You’re Doin’ Alright
June 29, 2009

40 years ago yesterday, a truly wonderful thing happened:

stonewall revolution

Yup, forty years ago yesterday, the first night of the Stonewall riots occurred.  Seeing of course how I’m never less than entirely timely with this blog, I’m commemorating yesterday’s anniversary today.  Timeliness, y’all, is what I do best.

Anyways, in case you’ve somehow spent your life under an ignorance rock, yesterday New York City held its annual Pride Parade, and it was nothing short of full-on fabulous.  After weeks of cold weather and overcast skies and rain, we got warm weather and sun and a gentle breeze.  Perfect Pride weather, really.  Of course I’m now sunburnt and my legs feel like I’ve got thunder thighs from all the standing, but these are the sacrifices one must make.

More than the weather, though, we had an absolutely lovely crowd, both in and out of the parade.  I’ve never seen so much rainbow attire, public snogging, old lesbian titty, older bear crotches in itty bitty underwear, and intricate body painting in my life; in other words, it was Pride done perfect.  And this, of course, brings out the crazies. 

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