Sister Sunshine Is Your Fag Hag
July 18, 2011

Listen, queen. Don’t get Sister Sunshine wrong. It’s not that she hates gay people  or anything. After all, she loves how you two can go out for appletinis or stay in with pints of your favorite flavors of Häagen-Dazs (she just a fiend for the raspberry vanilla swirl!), and she looooves that you will always greet her problems with a comforting “Oh, gurhl…” and offer a sympathetic sassy snap when all is resolved. You’re totes her bestie!

But still…

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In Honor of Iowa, This Post is Extra Gay
April 4, 2009

So I’m sure that you’ve heard the excellent news by now, but seriously, y’all:

iowa-the-best2

It is always exceptional news to hear when another state recognizes that it is unconstitutional to ban gay marriage, and the fact that it’s Iowa is particularly exceptional.  You don’t really expect such a radical political change to come from the midwest.  You just expect potatoes and corn.  All of us New Yorkers should feel particularly embarrassed today for feeling like we’re such a progressive state.  Apparently it’s Iowa that’s for gay lovers.  New York’s just for smug jackasses.  Whoops!

Anyways, I decided I’d that, in honor of a little piece of history being made, I’d keep it light share a few of my favorite homo things.  First off, we have the inimitable diva, Barbara Stanwyck, in A Walk on the Wild Side.  I could bother to set this up with a little plot exposition, but where’s the fun in that?  Just know that these are the 17 greatest seconds of performance any actress has ever delivered.  EVER:

That, my friends, is not camp.  That is exquisiteness.  I like to imagine that Barbara Stanwyck’s performance is so fabulously intense and perfectly delivered that it physically hurls Capucine onto the couch with the strength of a perfectly placed bitchslap, kinda like a gay version of the Force push.  Did I just reference Star Wars?  I just said something totally gay and totally nerdy.  Two-for-one special on quips, y’all.  You’re welcome.

Equally homoriffic, yet in a completely different medium of pure fabulosity, is the music video for U2’s “Discotheque”:

A friend said these words to me after I came out during freshman year of college: “I always new that you were gay because you even liked 90s U2.”  Truer words have never been spoken.    It’s U2, drenched in a Jacques-Demy-in-neon aesthetics and extolling the virtues of the dance floor.  I’d later realize that this is what we consider high camp; at the time when I first saw this in middle school, I just knew it as awesome.  Besides Lady Gaga, this really is the gayest thing in pop culture.  And it came from four straight men!  Go figs.

But mostly, I think we need this little bit of homoness to honor these changing times:

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The Bestest: I’m Here to Recruit You to Buy “Milk” on DVD
February 7, 2009

I literally just read this and spilled my milk (WHOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!  Puns are the best) after I read this.

But seriously, though, why aren’t you already excited about the impending release of Milk on DVD?  ‘Cos need I remind you?  I shouldn’t, but here goes:

Excellent.  You’ve been reminded, so let us continue.

Milk stands as a precedent for American cinema.  Brokeback Mountain was great, but that movie was also bogged down in the politics of homo-self-loathing.  Milk escapes that space and craves for something different.  What if we respected ourselves as mere human beings that deserve basic, inalienable rights?  What if we spoke out and verbalized a longing for such a respect from the rest of this nation, or any nation, that refuses such a simple, human recognition?  Milk, as a movie, doesn’t exist in closets, nor does it even bother to come out of them.  It explodes them.  For once, cinematically, we begin to get answers to the questions that really matter.

But let’s get serious (if we weren’t enough already).

In a time where the images of homosexuals in mainstream media are constructed by flaming queens and closet cases, Milk stands as a socio-political testament to the notion that we are just as much like you as anyone else.  No other film this year has been so pointedly political yet so simultaneously cinematically beautiful.  If nothing else, it merges documentary material and original footage as though we were seeing a news broadcast in such a seamless fashion that the walls between documentary and fiction crumble in such a way that you practically forget this isn’t a documentary.  Brilliant.  And then there’s that Danny Elfman score.  Perfection.

I understand that we live in a time where every dollar means so much more (both politically and in our pockets, if nothing else), and that is why I say: buy Milk.  Or rent it at the very least.  You won’t regret it.  Sean Penn is the best.  Seriously, give him the Oscar. NOW.

And as for that film?  Well, it gives us hope.  And hope itself is something to matter in these times.

Thankee, DVDactive.

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