Gay Marriage with a Side of Pancakes
April 7, 2009

Hey, y’all, it’s official: Vermont’s the greatest state.  Ever.  Why?  They’ve gotten rid of those silly civil unions in favor of letting the gays actually get married!  Added to that, let’s not forget that this state is also famous for its maple syrup.  I think we all know what that means: Homo Marriage Pancake Party!  Yaaay!  

Seriously, though, until New York finally gets its act together, I’ve now decided that Vermont’s the place to go for your big gay nuptials.  I mean, perhaps it’s just me, but I don’t think there could be a better wedding reception than one consisting of breakfast foodstuffs slathered in maple syrup.  And, on top of that, you could do a themed reception!  Seriously, just base it off this completely bizarre ad for Spike TV that I found earlier today:

Your reception is sure to be wild and crazy with all those bikinis and pancakes and waffle fights.  Not only will your wedding be a little part of history, but it’ll also be the “Huh?”-vent of the century!  Everybody will ask you what the hell you were thinking, and you can simply respond, “Well, I don’t really know, but–just like my love for Theodore–it’s always felt right.”  And really, with an answer like that, all doubt shall cease, ‘cos who doesn’t love love?  Or pancakes, for that matter?

Nobody, that’s who.

In Honor of Iowa, This Post is Extra Gay
April 4, 2009

So I’m sure that you’ve heard the excellent news by now, but seriously, y’all:

iowa-the-best2

It is always exceptional news to hear when another state recognizes that it is unconstitutional to ban gay marriage, and the fact that it’s Iowa is particularly exceptional.  You don’t really expect such a radical political change to come from the midwest.  You just expect potatoes and corn.  All of us New Yorkers should feel particularly embarrassed today for feeling like we’re such a progressive state.  Apparently it’s Iowa that’s for gay lovers.  New York’s just for smug jackasses.  Whoops!

Anyways, I decided I’d that, in honor of a little piece of history being made, I’d keep it light share a few of my favorite homo things.  First off, we have the inimitable diva, Barbara Stanwyck, in A Walk on the Wild Side.  I could bother to set this up with a little plot exposition, but where’s the fun in that?  Just know that these are the 17 greatest seconds of performance any actress has ever delivered.  EVER:

That, my friends, is not camp.  That is exquisiteness.  I like to imagine that Barbara Stanwyck’s performance is so fabulously intense and perfectly delivered that it physically hurls Capucine onto the couch with the strength of a perfectly placed bitchslap, kinda like a gay version of the Force push.  Did I just reference Star Wars?  I just said something totally gay and totally nerdy.  Two-for-one special on quips, y’all.  You’re welcome.

Equally homoriffic, yet in a completely different medium of pure fabulosity, is the music video for U2’s “Discotheque”:

A friend said these words to me after I came out during freshman year of college: “I always new that you were gay because you even liked 90s U2.”  Truer words have never been spoken.    It’s U2, drenched in a Jacques-Demy-in-neon aesthetics and extolling the virtues of the dance floor.  I’d later realize that this is what we consider high camp; at the time when I first saw this in middle school, I just knew it as awesome.  Besides Lady Gaga, this really is the gayest thing in pop culture.  And it came from four straight men!  Go figs.

But mostly, I think we need this little bit of homoness to honor these changing times:

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