This Trailer for Marmaduke Makes Me Reconsider My Thoughts on Gay Adoption, Babies in General
March 26, 2010

After all, if gays can’t adopt, then I won’t want a Gattaca mail order baby of my very own, which means I’ll never have to worry about listening to my kid throw a shit fit when I refuse to rent them Marmaduke.  Sure, the other soccer moms might think that makes me a pretentious bitch who’s unfit to raise a child, but take look at this mess and tell me I’m wrong:

Okay, I’ll admit that the part of me that loves train wrecks definitely did a this at the end of the trailer, but most of me just feels sorry for Lee Pace and Judy Greer and William H. Macy.  Sure, Ron Perlman and Steve Coogan are also much better than this, but at least they don’t have to show their faces, and Keifer Sutherland had the sage wisdom to leave this one off of his IMDB page.  Lee Pace and Judy Greer and William H. Macy have neither of those luxuries.  This makes me sad.

As for my fake ovaries, they’re quite happy to be fake right about now because for realsies:

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The Black Eyed Peas’ “Imma Be Rocking That Body” Is Epic, Makes Total Sense
February 18, 2010

Only one of the above statements is true.  Given that this 10-minute plutonium-powered crazy train video contains break-dancing robots and silver Phantom of the Opera masks and the Black Eyed Peas shooting people with dance rifles, can you guess which one?

At least the video explains the break-dancing robots and silver Phantom of the Opera masks and the Black Eyed Peas shooting people with dance rifles by saying it was all Fergie’s motorcycle crash fueled  dream, which I suppose makes “Imma Be Rocking That Body” the love child of Mulholland Drive and a gang bang with the robots from Terminator Salvation.  And while this video is easily the most fun Robot Apocalypse EVER, it’s also undeniable proof of the following:

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