Apropos of Mardi Gras, Here’s How to Make a Mardi Gras Balloon Hat
February 9, 2016

The thing she likes about hats is that’s where you get to be creative, and the think I like about this video is that it’s at once informative and entirely improvisatory. Take, for example, the fact there’s a glossary of specific balloon crafts terminology; and also, that this hat is called the Mardi Gras Hat is because one time somebody at her restaurant asked her for a Mardi Gras hat, so there you go.

Pearl away, y’all, and Happy Mardi Gras!


Hot Toddy! The New Season of Green Porno is Here!
April 9, 2009

If I were an Oprah, I’d have an “Oprah’s Favorite Things” episode, and on that episode I’d talk about Isabella Rossellini’s insanely brilliant web series, Green Porno.  Instead, I’m just me, but I do have a blog, and so I will talk about Green Porno anyways because it’s one of my favorite things.  Seriously, y’all, it’s the bestest.  And the bestest has just gotten bestester: 

YESSSSSS!!!!  All the gender-bending, elementary-school-play quality costumes, and colored-paper props we’ve come to know and love over the first season have returned to teach us about the sex lives of marine life.  It’s just another reminder of how Isabella Rossellini’s totally the greatest.

You should start watching immediately because–trust me when I say this–you have not lived your life to the fullest until you’ve witnessed Isabella Rossellini perform her ode to the female reproductive organ, “Why Vagina.”  And you most definitely have not lived until you’ve seen her reenact the mating rituals of whales, replete with a giant fake whale erection.  It’s all really quite educational, but it’s probably also not so safe for work.   Honestly, though, there’s some next level insanity/brilliance going on in this series; it’s like chocolate for your mind and soul.

Now eat it up!

Never Forget That Isabella Rossellini’s the Greatest
March 26, 2009

It’s pretty hard to deny that Isabella Rossellini’s an incredible woman.  She’s a comedic genius:

She’s also a genius genius.  Her web series for the Sundance Channel, Green Porno, couldn’t be more amazing if it tried.  The series sounds scandalous, but it’s really about as inappropriate as a rather bawdy biology lesson.  Isabella Rossellini dresses as various insects and recounts their sexual habits, gender-bending and anthropomorphizing these mating rituals into educational monologues that are as hilarious as they are enlightening.  I suspect this is not entirely safe for work (I’d guess it’s PG-13ish?), but you truly haven’t lived until you’ve witnessed the Ms. Rossellini discuss the batshit insanity that is snail sex:


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