Sandra Lee Gives Great (Yuck) Face
March 10, 2010

Look, there’s little reason in trying to tell Sandra Lee a cocktail made from lemonade, heavy cream, and vodka is a probably not a good idea.  Seriously, that woman is an unstoppable freight train of batshit craziness fueled by tablescapes and liquid delicious (booze),which is hardly a bad thing.  It’s just a thing that means she’ll have to learn this particular lesson the hard way:

I’m pretty sure the first face she makes before she even pulls the glass away from her mouth is the one that says, “This was a bad idea.”  The other three-dozen or so faces are her figuring out exactly what sort of bad idea it is.  And while I’m no professional face reader, if this “I hope no one realizes I just threw up in my mouth a little” face is any indication of the taste-bud bleakness:

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Mad Men Takes New York. Benjamin Inevitably Wets His Pants
August 6, 2009

In case you didn’t know, I’ve something of a Mad Men obsession.  Is it the 1960s aesthetic?  The artful way dramatic tension builds both over individual episodes and the entire season?  Is it simply my inimitable love for the World’s Second Greatest Joan?  Je ne sais pas, but it’s probably all of these reasons and an endless slew of others.  So you can only imagine my reaction on the subway yesterday when I read that New York Magazine is co-sponsoring a slew of themed events centering around my chief obsession.  Yup:

mad men fans

That subway cop was NOT amused one bit.

But really, it’s almost too much to be true.  Hell, it is too much to be true!  Take a trip to the Hilton New York for a selection of vintage cocktails inspired by Mad Men?  Why, I simply must pretend I work at Sterling Cooper and go to there for lunch!  And then return that evening for more cocktails and a video installation projects 1960s vintage ads on the side of the Museum of Arts and Design?  That may be a bad idea, so let’s do that on a Friday!  

As for the Mets game?  Well, I’m not going unless I’m guaranteed a fedora, so I’ll just pass.  It’s not like I’d actually go to watch the game!  HA!

The pièce de résistance, though, is the main reason I simply can’t contain myself:

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Is Sandra Lee is My New Favorite Food Lady?
July 17, 2009

Despite the fact that I’ve never met a meal I didn’t like (and I’ve even had the McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish, which probably says many a thing about my cast-iron stomach and my utter lack of any culinary sensibilities), I’m not a Food Network junkie.   This is particularly curious seeing as Food Network plays home to my Southern-fried soulmate, Paula Deen:

paula deen love

Seriously, this lady that advocates eating like heart-attacks are the new dogs-in-purses and speaks with an accent that’s thicker than sawmill gravy.  She’s completely crazy, but in the best way possible (i.e., with ample amounts of butter).  I was all but certain that my love for her could never be challenged, but–like the best laid schemes of mice and men–I had not anticipated witnessing the mind-altering brilliance that is this highly concentrated dose of Sandra Lee’s particular brand of insanity sauce:

Whoah-and-three-quarters, y’all.  Much of this video’s genius, admittedly, is in the editing.  It’s so perfectly executed that you begin to suspect that Sergei Eisenstein, the father of montage theory himself, would have kind words for the work displayed above.  That is, if he was still alive.  Or a zombie.

That all said, it doesn’t change the fact that Sandra Lee sounds like she might kill her parents with those incredible foodgasms she’s having.  Nor does it change the fact she really loves her cocktail time, and it certainly doesn’t change the fact the only thing she loves more than cocktail time is saying the world delicious.   Maybe I’m just gravitating to the magnetic pull of her feathered hair, or perhaps it’s something in the way that she says paprika, but all I know for certain is that she’s captivated the heart of this homo.  She’s giving Paula Deen a serious run in the favorite-food-lady department, and I think we know what this means:

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What is “The Joan Crawford”?
March 17, 2009

Perhaps you read the previous post and asked yourself, “‘Pot roast and Joan Crawfords’?  Whatever is a Joan Crawford?”

This is the Joan Crawford:

joan-drink

Trust me, it’s delicious.

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