Cate Blanchett Will Not Have Your Stupid Questions, Either
March 26, 2015

cate blanchett cinderella interview

In what I can only hope becomes one of the defining trends of 2015, another incredibly talented actress gave a delightfully Done With It response to a very stupid question. This time, a journalist asked Cate Blanchett a very stupid question about cats on leashes while she was doing press for Cinderella, and Cate Blanchett was not having it at all:

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Here’s a Drunk Man Serenading His Cat with “Kiss from a Rose”
July 5, 2012

Well, sure, okay. I suppose that’s one way to spend a Saturday night.

Much love to Julie Klausner by way of Videogum for this one.

TGIF! Here’s Some Dying Cats Singing “My Heart Will Go On”
April 6, 2012

Sure, it’s no me-at-karaoke, but the sound of a few cats dying might as well be the sound of two cats f*cking, so this deserves a gold star, even if this is Kate Winslet’s reaction. Besides, Titanic 3-D is out this weekend, and if you think I’m not going to be seeing it, you clearly forget that I’m a teenage girl wearing bad idea pajama jeans trapped in a gay man’s body. Seriously, such a special occasion deserves a moment of recognition, and if  Dead Cat Orchestra’s charmingly weird cover of “My Heart Will Go On” isn’t up to the task, I don’t know what is! Wouldn’t you agree, Hausu Ghost Cat?

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Trampoline Kitty Is a Perfect Metaphor for Monday Mornings
July 11, 2011

trampoline kitty

Ugh, Mondays! Or should I say, “MUGHndays”? (Get it? GET IT?!?) Sometimes they’re not the worst, but most of the time they’re pretty much the worst. All any of us really want is just another day off, or at the very least a few hours more rest, but instead it’s a seemingly Sisyphean nightmare train of too-early alarm clocks and drowsy showers and overly congested morning commutes and not enough coffee in the world. GAH, GET ME OFF THIS TRAIN!!!

Incidentally, here’s a video of a cat on a trampoline which has been making the viral rounds. This cat is a perfect visual metaphor for our ineffable Monday morning pain, y’all:

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This eHarmony Girl Loves Cats: REEEEEEEMIIIIIIIX!!!!!!!
July 8, 2011

I was perfect.“–This internet video remix.

Much love to Geekosystem by way of Videogum for this one.

This eHarmony Girl Loves Cats
June 9, 2011

I told you so.

Much love to Videogum for this one.

Irrelevant Musings on the International Discourse of Kikkoman Soy Sauce
March 4, 2010

In America, nobody seems to think too much about soy sauce.  “Fuck that noise” is what Japan has to say to that:


And why not?  Soy sauce really is better appreciated when it’s embodied by a man in a loin cloth who has a fish for a head and is dousing freakishly large shrimp tempura kitten creatures in that savory sauce.  Just look at those faces.  They’re simply FIENDING for it.  Probably because they just saw this saucy bit of batshit insanity:

WHOAH.  Can we talk about this?  Seriously, we need to talk about this.

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This Is Why We Interweb
January 27, 2010

Perhaps it’s wrong to reduce something as complex and integrated into our daily routine as the internet to something as simple as this:

But then, when you think about it, it makes perfect sense.

As it is so frequently with these sorts of things, much love to Videogum.

What’s Japanese for Train Wreck?
June 4, 2009

Yesterday, one of my co-workers sent me this e-mail:

e-mail

It should be noted that this is the co-worked who introduced us all to the dance magic that is Sara Carlson, so I immediately was optimistic.  Had he found Sara Carlson’s dance interpretation of the life of a Passion play?  Nope.  Even better.  It’s the straight-to-DVD revival of Brittany Murphy’s career.  The Ramen Girl, y’all:

Hot toddy!  Wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to just title this Japanese Cultural Fetish: The Movie?  Or Lost in Translation 2: Miso Sad ‘n Hungry?  Whatever.  This is a movie about Brittany Murphy learning to make schadenfreude soup with her tears of sadness because it’s her destiny (huh?).  Or at least that’s what the cat statue tells her (what?).  Riiiight.  

Was Brittany Murphy’s character high on something in the soup (mushrooms?  crack noodles?) that caused her to trip balls and devote her life to being a soupmonger?  Was the screenwriter high on something when they thought this was a story that needed to be told?  I’m personally betting it was weed because a movie all about ramen noodles is totally something a stoner would write.  That, or a movie all about Pillsbury Toaster Strudels.  

Whatever, I shouldn’t throw stones of bitchery because we all know what’s going to happen.  I don’t know how she does it, but Brittany Murphy sings the most irresistible siren’s song that always brings me crashing onto the jagged rocks of her bad movies.  It’ll probably be terrible, and I’ll probably hate myself for watching it, but at least I can safely say it’s not going to be as bad as Little Black Book.  Or Uptown Girls.  Really, if I can make it through the following mess, I can make it through anything:

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