Random Thoughts I Had While Watching Sex and the City 2
June 2, 2010

This past Memorial Day, I went to go see Sex and the City 2.  Here are some thoughts (besides “UGH!”) that crossed my mind over the course of the afternoon:

  • This is the actual display sponsored by Skyy vodka in the lobby of the theater where I went to see Sex and the City 2:

  • Let’s be clear on this: here is a vodka selling a movie that’s selling an impossibly “fabulous” nightmare fantasy lifestyle.  Perfect.  The movie hasn’t even begun, and I already wish I was blackout drunk from a shoetini bender.
  • On second thought, I’d rather conserve brain cells (I am going to see Sex and the City 2, after all) and just eat my feelings (impending sense of dread, unfathomable sorrow) instead.  Seeing as it’s Memorial Day, I’m in the mood for hot dogs.  Seriously, federally sanctioned summer holidays always put me in the mood for a hot dog.  Go figure.
  • Oh, and speaking of things that put me in the mood for hot dogs:

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We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Blogcast for a Special Message From the Dandy Warhols
April 20, 2010

Look, all I’m saying is that I don’t have to be Jewish to wish someone a happy Hanukkah, and so in that same spirit I present to you this gem from The Dandy Warhols’ Odditorium or Warlords of Mars:

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go and speak with Ms. Carrie Bradshaw.  She simply refuses to stop bogarting the sundae.  That is all.

Sex and the City BOOOOO!, or: Sometimes You Just Have to Shut Up and Drink the Kool-Aid-tini
April 9, 2010

I’m really glad that I never said I’d eat Charlotte’s spaceship hat if I became excited for Sex and the City 2, because right about now I’d be trolling Paula Deen’s website in hopes of figuring out how to best deep fry that thing.  New (and appealing!) Sex and the City 2 trailer, y’all:

Maybe the stick I’ve had up my ass about this movie has finally given me toxic shock, or perhaps my emotional age is getting to be as old as Samantha’s cooch and thus causing early onset dementia, but Sex and the City 2 doesn’t look half bad.  I mean, it doesn’t look good in the way that the latter, more emotionally nuanced seasons ever were, but I’m willing to make peace with the fact that these movies will never recapture that feel, so I might as well quit my bitching and raise the pink flag to Michael Patrick King.  Seriously, given that Carrie’s plotline is like Casablanca if Casablanca dropped the whole Nazi thing and was set in Abu Dhabi and written by a drag queen, I’m already sorta giddy.  But then there’s this moment that made me go “Whaaat?“:

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The Sex and the City 2 Teaser Trailer Is Also Everything I Imagined It Would Be
December 23, 2009

First there was the poster that looks like the marketing people behind Sex and the City 2 just don’t give a damn.  It’s pretty terrible, but terrible in a way that never gets old:

See what I mean?  You can’t put a price on something so hilariously sloppy, which makes sense because this poster looks like the vengeful wrath of an unpaid intern. 

Now we have a teaser trailer, though, and it’s becoming increasingly clear that nobody gives a damn about this movie.  I mean, just look at this lazy mess:

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The Sex and the City 2 Teaser Poster Is Everything I Imagined It Would Be
December 10, 2009

I’d be lying by omission if I didn’t admit that I’ve been eagerly awaiting to board the Sex and the City 2 hate train ever since halfway through Sex and the City: The Movie when I realized that no amount of Kristin Davis’s totally amazing angry-Charlotte face would save it from being a cinematic wet fart of conspicuous consumption pornography topped with a predictable and insipid ending.  It’s what feels like eternity two-and-a-half hours of Miranda and Carrie being self-involved harpies incapable of communicating with their significant others like grown adults, Samantha acting like an even hornier drag queen than the horny drag queen she usually acts like, and all sorts of stuff coming out of Charlotte.  Like unwavering romantic optimism.  And babies.  And poop.

Seriously, for as much as I adored the series, the movie was able to inspire an inverse amount of adoration.  In other words:

Since then, I’ve had nothing but ire for the sequel, and this teaser poster is not helping:

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