For Your Consideration in Camp: Highlights from the Burlesque Rotten Tomatoes Pull Quotes
November 24, 2010

When you think about how often I freak my freak out over Showgirls, you might’ve figured I’d have been flailing my fey little blog hands (like spirit fingers across the keyboard, if you will) on the daily when it came to the Cher and Xtina cinematic extravaganza, Burlesque.  After all, any movie musical set in the world of burlesque theater starring Cher and Christina Aguilera could very well be the next Showgirls, and at the very least it’s sure to wrestle away the crown–or would it be wig?–for Gayest Movie Ever (sorry, Gang Bang Bottoms 17).  If nothing else, it’s a testament to my unabashed faggotry that so many people shared the trailer with me as if I wasn’t all over it (thanks, you guys!!!).  Believe me, ladyfriends, I was.  It’s just that I ended up doing a bunch of this whenever I watched the trailer.  But with a whole lot more rainbow confetti.  You know, the usual homo things stuff.

ANYWAYS, Burlesque is out today, so obviously I’m excited (so excited!).  More importantly, though, that means the reviews for Burlesque are out (so excited!), which means the critics consensus over at Rotten Tomatoes has spoken: Burlesque sits at rather bleak 32% over at Rotten Tomatoes (so scared!).  Could my greatest fear–that Burlesque could be a Sex and the City 2 instead of a Showgirls–be true?!?  Mais non, mes soeurs.  I’ve gathered a few delectable quotes (with a dash of commentary) to give us hope that Burlesque could in fact be the Great Camp Hope for which we’ve all been waiting:

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When Christina Aguilera Tickles Your Gay Fancy, She Pre-Sells Another Copy of Bionic
April 27, 2010

I may know about as much about selling records as I do about finding the G-spot (a surprising amount, actually!), which is precisely why I concur with Christina Aguilera that tranny glambot from outer space is a great look to put on the cover for your latest album, Bionic:

christina aguilera bionic album cover high resolution

Think about it for a second and you’ll realize how this cover has great crossover appeal for both Joan Crawford enthusiasts AND cyborg fetishists.  Genius!

Also, if this promotional photo from the video for “Not Myself Tonight” is any indicator, she’s also wisely courting fans of Showgirls, Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” video, and leather daddies.  Or in other words, quite possibly every gay man on Earth:

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It’s Probably Way Too Early for Me to Be This Excited About Elektra Luxx; But Also: OOPS!, Too Late!
March 17, 2010

Seeing as Elektra Luxx just premiered at SXSW, and seeing as this most likely means that (like its predecessor, Women in Trouble) Elektra Luxx won’t be released into theaters ’til late fall, I know I shouldn’t be getting worked up about seeing this movie quite so soon, PARTICULARLY when I still haven’t seen Women in Trouble to confirm if it is in fact the candy-colored campstravaganza I so hope it to be.  Seriously, this could be a recipe for most disappointing thing since that one time when the nerds saw Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace or that other time when I saw the trailer for Marc Vorlander’s Showgirls: The Return, but something tells me that’s doubtful, and that something is poster:

electra luxx posterErmm, I’m sorry, but in such instances of hot pink, European-movie-poster chic fabulousness, I’ve every reason to freak my freak out.  This poster has already won the Silver in the 2010 HomOlympics (Gold and Lifetime Achievements went to Johnny Weir because le duh), so let’s not even talk about the plot summary.  Wait, scratch that and channel some Jessica-Alba-in-Fantastic-Four annunciation: LET’S:

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