TGIF! Now Let’s All Go Make Plans to See The Back-Up Plan
April 23, 2010

Movieline asks if this image of Jennifer Lopez recreating nearly every day of my life stuffing…something…into her mouth is the new greatest movie publicity still ever:

What an absurd question, Movieline.  That answer is self-evident, as self-evident as the accompanying video clip is most obviously fantasy porn for neurotic single women of a certain age, frustrated housewives, and me:

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Blog Post #418, in Which It Becomes Increasingly Obvious the Fourth Season of Mad Men Can’t Come Quickly Enough
April 15, 2010

Seeing how I love Mad Men almost as much as I abhor waiting for things, I’m naturally torn by these on-set photos taken during the filming of the fourth season.  Sure, it’s assuring to know that (SPOILER ALERT!) Jon Hamm’s Don Draper is still capable of setting your genitals to stunned by wearing a two-piece suit:

But the problem comes in the fact that Jon Hamm doesn’t require a suit to start a five-alarm fire in your pants.  Seriously, you can stick him in a white tee at a craft services table and that won’t stop me from losing all sense of focus and wishing I was coming home to a Duncan Hines Brownie Husband.  For example:

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Since There’ll Be a Mean Girls Video Game, Here’re Some Other Games That Would Be Totally Fetch
April 13, 2010

When I first found out yesterday that this was happening:

I totally Bill Hader-ed at work:

Sure, my co-worker was not a fan, and I guess it was embarrassing, but not nearly as embarrassing as taking six years to capitalize on the obviously lucrative market for video game adaptations of Mean Girls and things tangentially related to Mean Girls.  Of course, neither compares to the shame of being the one star of Mean Girls whose notoriously public career implosion most likely resulted in him/her being left off the video game box art for fear of their presence damaging sales (HINT: NOT THE WIDE-SET VAGINA GIRL), but that’s neither here nor there.

My point is that if there’s one thing that gays love, it’s dick spending money on things they don’t need; and if there’s another thing that they love, it’s sucking dick while watching Mean Girls.  A Mean Girls video game just makes sense.  Sure, six years isn’t exactly striking while the iron’s hot, but gays don’t mind when things don’t age gracefully (See: Xanadu, which only grows more camp with each passing day.  See also: Madonna).

ANYWAYS, this can only be the beginning of the Video Games Renaissance (for games based on Mean Girls and things tangentially related to Mean Girls), so let’s take a peek at some other other games we can expect in the future:

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