Surprise! There’s Going to Be a Brittany Murphy Biopic on Lifetime
August 14, 2014

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Well, well, well, this certainly comes as a surprise. It looks like Brittany Murphy (seen above in a dazzling still from Spun), who tragically passed away in 2009, will be getting the Lifetime biopic treatment. Between this and The Unauthorized Saved by the Bell Story, Lifetime looks to be chasing the nostalgic-millennials-with-a-penchant-for-hot-garbage market hard.

Us Weekly is reporting that Lifetime will air The Brittany Murphy Story on September 6th. Last Man Standing‘s Amanda Fuller will star as Brittany, and Sherilyn Fenn (!!!) will play Britanny’s mom, Sharon Murphy. I’m all for Sherilyn Fenn being cast in anything (Twin Peaks 4EVER), but I’m not sure about Amanda Fuller. She doesn’t really look at all like Brittany Murphy. Then again, Lifetime’s casting agents have done far worse.

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RIP, Brittany Murphy
December 20, 2009

Terrible news.  Variety is reporting that Brittany Murphy has passed-away at 32.  Yes, there have been jokes here in the past about her career choice, but they came out of deep affection.  She gave brilliant performances in two of the indisputably greatest comedies of the 90s (Clueless and Drop Dead Gorgeous), and she had the sort of big, expressive eyes that sparked with charm and vulnerability.  Our deepest condolences go out to her family.  She will be sincerely missed.

Forget 2012. Megafault Is THE Disaster Movie of 2009
November 4, 2009

Do you not know what Megafault is?  Don’t worry.  Until this morning, neither did I, but now I do, and it’s time to spread the gospel.  People, this is Megafault:

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Without so much as a trailer, the first thing that occurred to me was that I really need to put Brittany Murphy on Google alert.  Between this and The Ramen Girl, I’m beginning to suspect that any movie starring Brittany Murphy is a film destined bad movie excellence. Coming from the producers that brought us Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and originally airing on SyFy are just shitshow icing on the train wreck cake.  Seriously, I need only this bargain bin DVD cover to know that this movie’s destined for greatness.

Of course, saying that would discount the Megafault trailer, which is a whole new realm of terrible I never actually believed attainable:

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What’s Japanese for Train Wreck?
June 4, 2009

Yesterday, one of my co-workers sent me this e-mail:

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It should be noted that this is the co-worked who introduced us all to the dance magic that is Sara Carlson, so I immediately was optimistic.  Had he found Sara Carlson’s dance interpretation of the life of a Passion play?  Nope.  Even better.  It’s the straight-to-DVD revival of Brittany Murphy’s career.  The Ramen Girl, y’all:

Hot toddy!  Wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to just title this Japanese Cultural Fetish: The Movie?  Or Lost in Translation 2: Miso Sad ‘n Hungry?  Whatever.  This is a movie about Brittany Murphy learning to make schadenfreude soup with her tears of sadness because it’s her destiny (huh?).  Or at least that’s what the cat statue tells her (what?).  Riiiight.  

Was Brittany Murphy’s character high on something in the soup (mushrooms?  crack noodles?) that caused her to trip balls and devote her life to being a soupmonger?  Was the screenwriter high on something when they thought this was a story that needed to be told?  I’m personally betting it was weed because a movie all about ramen noodles is totally something a stoner would write.  That, or a movie all about Pillsbury Toaster Strudels.  

Whatever, I shouldn’t throw stones of bitchery because we all know what’s going to happen.  I don’t know how she does it, but Brittany Murphy sings the most irresistible siren’s song that always brings me crashing onto the jagged rocks of her bad movies.  It’ll probably be terrible, and I’ll probably hate myself for watching it, but at least I can safely say it’s not going to be as bad as Little Black Book.  Or Uptown Girls.  Really, if I can make it through the following mess, I can make it through anything:

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